The Best Hookups On True Blood, From Neck-Twisting Hate Sex To Orgies

Photo: Courtesy of HBO.
It's been nearly 10 years since True Blood's vampires came out of the coffin, exposing Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin) and her Bon Temps neighbors to a whole new supernatural world.
There are many things to love about this show, including the truly astonishing way Bill (Stephen Moyer) pronounces Sookie's name, Eric's (Alexander Skarsgard) cold grin, and every line that comes out of Pam's (Kristin Bauer van Stratten) mouth. But let's face it, the best part of True Blood was the sex. And there was a lot of it.
Cemetery sex, first-time sex, hate sex, make-up sex, Maenad sex, recovery sex, dream sex, revenge sex, bloody sex — if you can think of it, True Blood probably showed it. You thought the twincest on Game of Thrones was shocking? How about the time Eric slept with his (kind of) sister? Or, when Bill dated Portia Bellefleur (Courtney Ford), later revealed to be his great-great-great-granddaughter? Keeping track of relatives as a vampire appears to be almost as hard as the water in Arkansas! (Yes, that was a deep cut, but here's the clip for reference.)
Sex was pretty much the only way True Blood knew how to resolve conflict. As Vampire Queen Sophie-Anne (Evan Rachel Wood) so tactfully put it when helping diffuse some tension between Bill and Eric: "You two should just fuck each other and get it over with. I could watch."
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you True Blood in a nutshell.
And so, in honor of the show's 10th anniversary on September 7, we've rounded up some of the best True Blood sex scenes of all time. I hope you're thirsty.
1 of 10
The Orgy (Season 2, Episode 4)

Bon Temps had its fair share of orgies during season 2, when Maryann (Michelle Forbes) the maenad came to town, inciting the good people of Bon Temps to worship Bacchus with wild parties, violence, and group sex. Too bad there was the whole cutting the hearts out of live victims thing...
2 of 10
Eric and Nora (Season 5, Episode 1)

It's 2018. Cersei Lannister claims to be pregnant with her twin brother's baby for the fourth time. We're over the shock value of incest. What's a little hookup between vampire siblings?
3 of 10
Alcide and Rikki (Season 5, Episode 8)

I am a sucker for a training scene that turns into a sex scene. Like in Dirty Dancing where Johnny and Baby do that swoopy dance move and end up in bed? Hot! This is much the same, except instead of learning the merengue, Rikki (Kelly Overton) is helping Alcide (Joe Manganiell0) train to beat out another werewolf as head of the pack. Whatever, they're having their time of their life.
4 of 10
Eric and Talbot (Season 3, Episode 8)

Sometime during season 3, Eric figured out that Russell Edgington (Dennis O'Hare) was the vampire responsible for the slaughter of his Viking family. To get back at him, he decides to seduce and stake his centuries-old lover, Talbot (Theo Alexander). What's that they say about revenge being a dish best served cold? Because this one's pretty steamy.
5 of 10
Bill and Sookie (Season 1, Episode 8)

Listen, I get it. You thought your one true love was dead, and it turns out he's not. That seems like a good reason to go at it on the cold, freshly churned cemetery ground. But girl, that dirt is a one-way ticket to UTI-ville. Do yourself a favor and wait until he showers.
6 of 10
Lafayette and James (Season 7, Episode 5)

This scene is a tricky one, because much as I'm rooting for James and Lafayette's relationship, the fact that one has to go all the way to the final season of True Blood to get a meaningful sex scene involving a person of color highlights one of the show's greatest faults. Tara (Rutina Wesley) and Eggs (Mehcad Brooks) were under Maryann's spell the entire time they were together; Tara and Pam may have had the best scene of all time, but we'll never know because it was cut; and Jesus (Kevin Alejandro) and Lafayette's relationship was so tame as to verge on being unrealistic.
7 of 10
Eric and Sookie (Season 2, Episode 9)

The best sex on True Blood happens in the erotic dreams induced by vampire blood. This one takes place after Eric tricks Sookie into drinking from him after he's hurt protecting her from a suicide bomber sent by the Fellowship of the Sun. And though the two would eventually hook up in reality, none of their future love scenes would be quite as steamy.
8 of 10
Jason and Amy (Season 1, Episode 7)

Jason (Ryan Kwanten) and Amy (Lizzie Caplan) had a lot of V-fueled sex, including in front of the vampire they were holding captive in his basement. For a while, it looked like she might be the one, the girl who would finally get the town playboy to settle down. But this is True Blood, and there are no happy endings — only vampire-phobic killers who go around strangling women. Poor Jason is left on his own; until the next girl comes along, that is.
9 of 10
Jason and Jessica (Season 4, Episode 9)

Told you there was no need to worry about Jason being lonely. Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) may have started out as a perma-17-year-old virgin vampire, but it's clear the student has become the master.
10 of 10
Bill and Lorenna (Season 3, Episode 3)

Of all the hate sex on True Blood, this scene stands out for its sheer gymnastics. The sight of Bill viciously twisting his maker's neck until she's facing the other way would definitely be disturbing if it wasn't so absurdly comical. What a show!

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