Former Destiny's Child singer Michelle Williams got real about her history with depression and suicidal thoughts while on The Talk on Wednesday.
Williams, now 37, said she spent the majority of her teenage and young adult years not even knowing the term "depression," all while struggling to understand what was happening to her both mentally and physically.
"I didn’t know until I was in my 30s what was going on," she said. "I just thought it was growing pains, I just thought I’m turning into a woman, so I’ve been suffering since between the ages of 13 and 15. Like I said, at that age I didn’t know what to call it."
The confusion and pain she carried around intensified while she was in Destiny's Child alongside Beyoncé and Kelly Rowland. Though she seemed to have it all on the outside, internally, she said she was "suffering."
"For years, I'm in one of the top-selling female groups of all time suffering with depression. When I disclosed it to our manager [Mathew Knowles] at the time, bless his heart, he was like, 'You all just signed a multi-million dollar deal. You're about to go on tour. What do you have to be depressed about?'" she recalled.
Instead of getting help, Williams dismissed her symptoms and feelings and told herself she was "just tired." Eventually, the singer said her depression became overwhelming "to the point where I was suicidal."
"I was to that place where it was so dark and heavy, because sometimes you feel like, I'm the provider, I take care of people, I'm not supposed to be feeling this way," she said, later adding, "I wanted out."
Now, Williams is taking care of her needs and wants others to join her in normalizing the discussion surrounding mental health so that we can break the harmful stigma.
If you are thinking about suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Crisis Line at 1-800-784-2433.