I Think I Fell In Love With Charli XCX & Halsey

I assumed that Charli XCX and Halsey would always be the sort of anodyne pop stars that would provide the soundtrack to all my future grocery shopping — I'd stroll through the canned goods aisle, looking for Goya beans, and hear "Boom, Clap" playing faintly in the background, never giving a second thought to the artist behind the song.

However. A new duo interview with the two of them for Billboard proves that the two pop stars are undeniable. Or rather, they've become undeniable figures in my life. They write certified bops and they seem like people you might want to share a beer (or a glass of Champagne) with. Perhaps it's their collective will — the two of them will be touring together this fall, and they're attached at the hip, as evidenced by the fact that during the interview, the two trip to the bathroom together. Halsey admits in the interview that she's only ever punched guys, which is a fun thing to say. They both admit to loving Champagne. Halsey says she's thinks John Mayer is a "comedic genius." It's a wild and confusing ride, and I'm here for all of it.

Here, collected for your convenience, are the parts of the interview that made me gasp:

"Being authentic" is the equivalent of being a "hot mess," at least according to Halsey, 22. "'Yeah, it's 5 a.m., and I'm wasted and I’m fucking doing that.' So if I look like shit on a certain day..." she says.

"It's my brand!" Charli pipes in.

"We want to start a rollerblading squad where we all learn to skate around the arenas every day. We're going to get the full outfit: kneepads, elbow pads."

Then, Halsey says they'll perform the upside-down lift from Blades of Glory.

"I met John Mayer at a bar. We're like platonic mates now. If I think something is funny, I run it by him first, because he's a comedic genius. He'll tell me if it's funny, but he'll tell me if it's not. I started answering people on Twitter by their first names. Someone will be like, 'Halsey fucking sucks,' and I'll be like, 'Stacy, wow, calm down.' He loved that."

John Mayer: the arbiter of internet humor.

Charli begins, "I feel there's a generally unspoken consensus among artists right now that it's not cool to be competitive or fighting. It's really about friendship and collaboration. And that sounds so fucking cheesy, but..."

Then, Halsey interrupts: "No, it doesn't. It sounds real."

Bam. Best friends prevent you from nervous backpedaling.

When interviewer Brooke Mazurek points out that there's a lot of "skepticism" directed at female musicians who come from reality television, Halsey pointed out that people underestimate women in general — not just the ones from The X Factor.

"From when I first started, I wrote [my music]," she says.

Charli agrees, saying, "And people were like, 'Oh, who wrote your songs?' There’s so much doubt, especially with being a pop star and being a female. Taylor Swift, amazing songwriter. Katy Perry, amazing songwriter. Lady Gaga, amazing songwriter."

Read the full interview over at Billboard.