When an opportunity this good comes around, you can't pass it up. Here goes nothing.
Dear Chance The Rapper:
I am writing to express my interest in the current internship being offered on your team. I’m hoping that this position involves furthering your work to increase funding for Chicago Public Schools, the district that is also responsible for my education, or collaborating on a creative ideas to cover up your embarrassing chest tattoo. I’m extremely inspired by your commitment to engaging young people via media channels that reach them directly.
I have nearly five years of writing and editing experience — including proposals and decks, lots of decks. As an entertainment writer at Refinery29, I literally put words together for and about cool people all day. I got this. I’m not sure if I’m the “specific” someone that you’re looking for, but I have a unique set of skills that make me an ideal candidate for the job.
As a fellow Chicago Southsider, I understand the unique needs that may be required of me to make our working relationship productive for everyone. In addition to my strong editorial skills, I know where to find Midwestern delicacies like Flamin’ Hots with nacho cheese and 50 cent juices as refreshments for our meetings. Should you need someone to hold the back of your T-shirt during a spontaneous outburst of footworking, I can do so while allowing you a full range of upper body motion. I am also well-versed in call and response traditions such as “Oooouooo. Ya ya!” (pre DeJ Loaf), should we need to enact alternative communication techniques. Additionally, I’ve memorized your method for combing your daughter’s hair without it hurting, because that’s important.
This sounds like a great opportunity, and I appreciate you considering my qualifications. My editor here at Refinery29 insists that I inform you I’m only available on weekends and evenings, as I’m actually obligated to keep my full-time job. However, I’m more than willing to brainstorm a schedule that works for all three parties. I look forward to speaking with you about the position.