I'm admittedly terrible at guessing what other parents are going to deem wildly inappropriate behavior towards their children (dear Neighbor Mom, I'm still really sorry I let my son touch your daughter's shoe, although I'm still not really sure why I'm sorry?). But even I know the answer to this current piece of pop culture news trivia: Is it okay to give a child a haircut without the consent of that kid's guardian? No. No, it is not.
How could anybody actually think there would be a different correct answer to that question? I mean, I guess if the kid has his hair stuck in an escalator or some other machine of mass destruction, or if bees have built their home in his hair, you would have a solid argument as to why you were forced to make a game-time decision and chop it, stat. But thinking someone else's son simply shouldn't have shoulder-length hair is not a valid argument. Unfortunately, that was the only argument that 7-year-old Dominic's teacher gave before he went a-hacking.
Allure reports that the teacher had called Dominic's mother, Miriam Brandon, multiple times requesting permission to cut Dominic's hair. The teacher claimed Dominic's shoulder-length locks sometimes fell in his face. Which seems like...I don't know, just something that should-length hair does on occasion? Isn't this one of the gifts of shoulder-length hair — the fact that it lets you push it back as a nervous tic when you don't know what to do with your hands? Just look how much Kristen Stewart misses this gift.
But also: Couldn't you just suggest a hair clip, Mr. Teacher? A couple bobby pins? A headband? (We'll leave it up to you, readers, to speculate as to how much of the teacher's long-hair aversion was based on his own particular gender-presentation preferences.)
"I didn't think it's hurting anyone for him to grow his hair out," Brandon told CBS News/CNN. so when a teacher kept persisting that I cut his hair, I was like, 'No, I don't need to get his hair cut. That's okay."
Apparently that teacher has been hanging out with kids too much, because he did what so many 7-year-olds have done before him: Ask permission, receive a disappointing answer, and then go ahead and do it anyway. But of course, as so many 7-year-olds have learned, that usually gets you in a hell of a lot of trouble.
"He's a teacher, not a hairdresser, and we didn't give any consent or anything," Brandon added. "For a teacher to grab scissors and cut a child’s hair, that takes away my son's voice, and it takes away my voice as a parent." She's also (rightfully) upset that other teachers witnessed the incident without interfering.
The fact that we don't know how Dominic — who has autism and was attending a special-needs public school in Ottowa — feels about his new 'do makes the whole thing even more problematic. The school has since issued a somewhat bizarre statement that calls the haircut "an unusual practice." Yes, and?
Granted, the school also said it "extends our apologies to the student and his family" and has placed the teacher on temporary home assignment. But Brandon is hoping he will face more serious consequences. Honestly, so am I — and this is coming from the shitty parent responsible for The Unwanted Shoe-Touching Incident Of 2016, so you know it's not just a product of helicopter parenting.