Ever since Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick broke up during the summer of 2015, the world has collectively been waiting for them to reconcile. They unmarried duo was Keeping Up With the Kardashians’ most stable couple after nearly a decade of love and pregnancies. How could we not want these two crazy kids to work out their differences and get back together?
Last night’s season 13 premiere of KUWTK made one huge thing clear when it comes to Mason, Penelope, and Reign Disick’s parents: we all need to need to stop shipping Kourtney and Scott like a fictional couple.
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Keeping Up fans have watched the reality TV pair’s rollercoaster relationship unfold in the same way they experienced the highs and lows of The Vampire Diaries’ Elena and Damon or The Office’s Jim and Pam. Although we all know Scott and Kourtney are real people, it’s easy for their love story to end up somewhere between real-life and fiction.
KUWTK employs all the same tricks as scripted TV, from its obvious use of editors, writers, and producers to its need for storylines. Real life doesn’t have simple plot points, but an episode of an E! reality series — and the TV relationships it broadcasts — definitely does.
After looking at Kourtney and Scott like television characters for 13 years, it’s easy to imagine their happily ever after, since we know so much of what we’ve already seen is manipulated in some way. So, of course their romantic comeback could be added into the script at any moment, the same way Elena and Damon managed to score their bittersweet ending in the TVD series finale.
But, we’re not dealing with fictional people whose lives are mapped out in a Los Angeles writers room. We’re actually watching one mom who’s clearly becoming more and more uncomfortable with her ex-boyfriend’s omniscient presence in her life.
Throughout the season 13 premiere, Kourtney becomes physically upset every time someone questions whether Scott should be invited to an event in Miami. Although the oldest Kardashian sister has told her friends and siblings as much, they’re still fielding text messages from Lord Disick about a birthday dinner.
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By the end of "Time to Dash" the parents of three finally agree they shouldn’t do everything together because it’s making both of them unhappy.
With the drama we already know is ahead, like self-described "sex addict" Scott bringing a mystery woman on the Kardashian family vacation, it’s officially time to call this ship-that-never-was dead.