Chris Martin Just Saved The Chainsmokers From Total Embarrassment

Let's walk through the truly bizarre decision chain that led to the Chainsmokers performing without Halsey. She was in the building. She was the best part of their best song. She had one of those features that makes the song into what it is. So why leave her out? To prove that they aren't just the product of Halsey? To let her experience the majesty of the Chainsmokers up close and personal?
Or maybe they just forgot she was there. Seems unlikely, given her Miley Cyrus-channeling outfit choice. Either way, their performance started like a match in a rainstorm. As in, it didn't.
So, they needed some saving. Who would come to their rescue? We thought, like anyone would, that Halsey would emerge from some ersatz phonebooth, wrest the mic away, and do her thing. She didn't.
But Chris Martin did. Chris Martin? Chris Martin. The Coldplay guy. Ex-GOOP. Mr. Conscious Uncoupling. The man himself.
Check out his performance.
The ingredients for a successful awards show cameo are as follows: The cameo-er must be a bigger star than whomever they're featuring with; the cameo-er must be a bit out of left field; and the cameo-er must be able to show off talent in a way that nobody expected. So, weirdly, we guess Chris Martin ticks all those boxes.
He seems to be, by way of Coldplay, safe-rockism personified. But also Coldplay is the biggest band in the world, so there's obviously more than a little talent there. We just never put Chris Martin on the list of big stars we feel are being held back a little bit by their band. He is Coldplay, much like he was Mr. GOOP.
Maybe it's time to bow down and give Chris Martin the love he deserves. Certainly, the Chainsmokers ought to find a way to get him on their next album at least. Or maybe just hang out with him forever.
But still, we wish that Halsey had been there.

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