Last night's episode of The Bachelor featured the departure of the season's villain, Corinne Olympios, and one very uncomfortable one-on-one date. With Corinne's exit, we got tears, a few requisite one-liners — "I'll never kiss up to a man again!" was her version of Scarlett O'Hara's plea — and a mournful limo ride through New York City.
But the real draw of the episode was the solo date with Raven Gates. Specifically, Nick Viall's attire during the rendezvous stole the show. Our Bachelor wore a scruffy gray turtleneck for the ocassion, and the sweater might as well be named the new villain of the show. (In Corinne's absence, we'll need to find a new antagonist, right?) It was snug. It was definitely some sort of itchy wool blend. It crept up Viall's neck like a clingy lover, and it made the Bachelor look all the more like an idiot. The sweater also didn't help when Raven shared this fun fact: Her ex-boyfriend never made her orgasm. Sorry, Ms. Gates, but the man sitting in front of you with a gray cable-knit cloak around his neck isn't the one to make you reach new heights.
Last night, Twitter briefly mourned the loss of Corinne, but quickly moved onto policing Nick Viall's fashion. Because that's the fun part of The Bachelor — yes, we're here to watch people fall in love, but mainly we want to mock really, really attractive people.
The worst part of Monday's episode was that, alas, it was only one hour. For crazed fans like myself, this is an abomination. Every Monday, I look forward to two mind-numbing hours of reality television. And you dare to deny me this comfort? (The show truncated the episode to make room for the Gus Van Sant miniseries When We Rise, which is in fact very acceptable.) Twitter joined me in confusion about the shorter episode, but that didn't mean it wasn't on fire with its usual wit and good cheer. Ahead, you'll find the wittiest, the silliest, and the most insightful comments the internet had to offer during Monday's episode of The Bachelor.