Since we consider it a victory to get through the day with one or two cups of coffee instead of three, four, or five, it eluded us that some people have actually never tasted coffee in their lives. Yes, their adult lives.
But a new video shared by The Huffington Post has just enlightened us that these people exist. And some of them recently got a pleasure we will never be able to enjoy again: experiencing coffee for the very first time.
As if that weren't exciting enough, they didn't lose their coffee virginity to a cheap watery brew from their parents' coffee machine. They got to test out americanos, mochas, espressos, and macchiatos. So, they were in for a treat — at least we thought. But their reactions tell a very different story.
A few of them like the smell of the americano, but the words they use to describe the taste include "soap," "bitter," and "ugh." One has a theory: "Maybe people use this to wake up in the mornings because it's just like, so bad."
They like the look of the macchiatos, but once again, the taste falls short. "It's nice but it's not that nice," "I was expecting better," and "it still tastes like coffee" are among the reviews. One calls the foam "sandy." But this one's our absolute favorite: "It tastes like an old lady's underpants." Um, how does he know?
They're disappointed by the size of the espresso — finally, one thing we can relate to. Taste-wise, it comes in even worse than the americano.
The mocha's the winner, mainly because it doesn't really taste like coffee at all. "This is chocolate," one says with relief. "You barely even know you're drinking coffee," another agrees. So, the verdict is clear: They don't like coffee. Bless their souls.
TBH, we're pretty jealous. It must be nice to wake up feeling like a functional human being. We hope for the sake of their mornings and their bank accounts that they don't ever let society change them.