Valentine's Day is the number one day for love, worldwide. That means all parts of love. The joy, the heartbreak. The perfect dinners, the disappointing desserts. You get the idea: It's a spectrum. Nowhere is that duality more apparent than in the case of the heart shaped pizza. The intentions are great. You take something everyone loves (pizza) and combine it with Valentine's Day (heart shaped). But, just like sex, pizza is a risk. Sometimes it's great, other times you're left feeling cheap and covered in weird liquids. Heart shaped pizzas, then, are like sex on Valentine's Day. There are some successes.
And then there are some failures. Many, many failures.
Next time, just get a regular pizza.