Congratulations, we have reached a new level of meta. American Horror Story: Roanoke started out as a fake documentary — "My Roanoke Nightmare" — within a show. By the end of the finale, that number has grown to five, adding "Return to Roaonoke," "Crack'd," "The Lana Winters Special" and "Spirit Chasers" into the mix.
The episode starts with flashback to the early days of "My Roanoke Nightmare"'s success, showing the cast at Paleyfest. It's pretty much what we've come to expect of hit shows: screaming fans, re-enactors, actors making lame quips, and one emotional British teenager with a very fake accent who traveled all the way to America to give Lee a painting.
Fast-forward to a post "Return to Roanoke" world, and that very same girl is voicing her very real concerns on YouTube. We learn that the sequel was EVEN MORE successful than the original show. How do we know? Because the Reddit threads went on "for days." Did anyone really die? Were the spirits all fake?
One thing's for sure, Lee has been put on trial for murder. But which one?
The remaining Polk brother, feeling left out of the action, has also taken to Youtube to vent his feelings. It seems nobody cares about Mama Polk's death. “If the law won’t deal with her, I sure will," he vows.
The rest of the Roanoke story comes by way of another fake documentary, called "Crack'd." From this, we learn that the police had always suspected Lee of killing Mason, but was unable to prosecute her due to circumstantial evidence. So when the police found the footage of the murders she committed while playing Butcher 2.0, they were overjoyed. “Lee had committed not one, but multiple homicides on camera," the talking head prosecutor tells the camera. "We had her.”
Unfortunately, it turns out Lee has a lot in common with another of Ryan Murphy's favorite characters. Yes, it's time to talk about O.J.
There's no glove this time around. Instead, a number of experts come to Lee's defense, blaming everything from the Polks' pot to their client's mental state for the murders. Lee is acquitted of all the charges, and for a second it looks like we might be done with the whole affair.
But the cops want to prolong this ordeal, and so they decide to prosecute her for her original crime, the murder of Mason. This time around, they have some evidence: Lee's confession tape, which she recorded under duress while being held captive at the Polks' growhouse. They also have a witness: Flora.
But sadly for the prosecution, Flora is still babbling on about Priscilla, which causes the jury to split after 16 days of deliberation. Lee is acquitted once more. (Take that, O.J.!)
Thus ends the Crack'd documentary. Welcome to the Lana Winters Special!
Another day, another reel depicting Lee's life. “The murder trials of Lee Harris captured the hearts and minds of an entire nation," Lana Winters narrates. She has come out of retirement specifically for this interview.
The interview starts benignly enough, but things get interesting when Lana asks Lee why she chose this particular program. (Apparently, Diane Sawyer isn't good enough for Lee Harris.)
You have been to hell and back and so many people would have simply given up.
"Because of you," Lee answers. "Because of who you are, what you’ve been through. I mean Jesus, you killed your own son." Strap on your helmets, fans, the Bloody Face reference from Asylum makes the crossover official!
Suddenly, the interview takes an entirely different tack: It turns out that Flora went missing an hour before Lee came on the air. Lana demands to know where Lee has taken her, and urges her to confess, when we hear gunfire. The last Polk has come for Lee. He is killed, but not before striking Lana with the butt of his rifle. That woman seriously has nine lives.
As if all this wasn't enough, we still have one more fake documentary to explore: "Spirit Chasers."
Bob and Dave have done what all the networks couldn't — they've cut a wire fence and snuck onto the Roanoke property during the blood moon. At this point, I really have to question the human race. I mean, really? Again? Ashley Gilbert, who played Cricket on "My Roanoke Nightmare," joins them, and their heavy duty infrared equipment, to investigate what really happened in the haunted house. Things are starting to get creepy when suddenly, Lee appears. She's been on the run looking for Flora for two weeks. This is her last stop. "I saw Priscilla come in here," she says. "She took Flora from me before." The stupid Chasers are actually excited about this. It makes you question whether or not they have been watching the same show we have. (Isn't that the point of all these documentaries? To be on the same page?) As the blood moon rises, all the usual ghost suspects come roaring back to life (kind of ): The Chens, Priscilla, Mr. Piggy — they're all here to party. One by one, the newcomers start to die. First Ashley, who gets gutted while fruitlessly yelling "Croatoan," just like his character, then Dave, who gets grabbed by the Chen girl. Outside, the cops finally show up to the scene of a crime, but it's too late. The settlers are here, and their arrows are lethal. From fake news interviews, we learn that the police are here for Lee. It's a standoff. Inside the house, Flora and Lee finally have a heart to heart. Lee wants Flora to forgive her and come home. Flora wants Priscilla to kill her so she can stay with her forever. Finally, Lee offers a compromise. She'll stay with Priscilla and keep her safe, if Flora goes out and lives her life. "You can come visit us, when it’s not the blood moon," Lee says. "And in time, you may feel different about me. Please, let me do that for you."In a show full of fake scene, this is perhaps the only truly real moment of emotion.
Bob and Dave have done what all the networks couldn't — they've cut a wire fence and snuck onto the Roanoke property during the blood moon. At this point, I really have to question the human race. I mean, really? Again? Ashley Gilbert, who played Cricket on "My Roanoke Nightmare," joins them, and their heavy duty infrared equipment, to investigate what really happened in the haunted house. Things are starting to get creepy when suddenly, Lee appears. She's been on the run looking for Flora for two weeks. This is her last stop. "I saw Priscilla come in here," she says. "She took Flora from me before." The stupid Chasers are actually excited about this. It makes you question whether or not they have been watching the same show we have. (Isn't that the point of all these documentaries? To be on the same page?) As the blood moon rises, all the usual ghost suspects come roaring back to life (kind of ): The Chens, Priscilla, Mr. Piggy — they're all here to party. One by one, the newcomers start to die. First Ashley, who gets gutted while fruitlessly yelling "Croatoan," just like his character, then Dave, who gets grabbed by the Chen girl. Outside, the cops finally show up to the scene of a crime, but it's too late. The settlers are here, and their arrows are lethal. From fake news interviews, we learn that the police are here for Lee. It's a standoff. Inside the house, Flora and Lee finally have a heart to heart. Lee wants Flora to forgive her and come home. Flora wants Priscilla to kill her so she can stay with her forever. Finally, Lee offers a compromise. She'll stay with Priscilla and keep her safe, if Flora goes out and lives her life. "You can come visit us, when it’s not the blood moon," Lee says. "And in time, you may feel different about me. Please, let me do that for you."In a show full of fake scene, this is perhaps the only truly real moment of emotion.
The next scene shows Flora exiting the house as it bursts into flames. Lee gives Priscilla her gun. When she pulls the trigger, the building explodes.
In a callback to Murder House, Flora waves to a serene looking Lee and Priscilla. As the car pulls away, we see the Butcher and her settlers approach the remaining crowd with torches.
Time to start all over again.
Remaining Questions:
Far from tying up loose ends, this ending leaves us with even more questions:
1) Why was the ground breathing?
2) What was up with the tooth blizzard?
3) How do we know Scathach is the first Supreme? What does that even mean?
4) Who was that man in the pig head that The Butcher had burned alive in episode 2?
5) Who even was Mr. Piggy? What is his purpose?
6) Was this just the most complicated episode of Black Mirror, ever?
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