Imagine dating someone, even if it was just for a hot minute. Now imagine watching that person be asked, in public, how you compare to others he or she has dated. Imagine that happening twice in one week. It'd probably feel kind of shitty, right? And yet Niall Horan just took part in the game of pitting his exes against one another on two separate talk shows. We'd expect this out of Howard Stern, but James Corden and Ellen DeGeneres? Yeah, we're disappointed. The Ellen DeGeneres Show had Horan play a round of "Who'd You Rather?," a recurring skit in which guests must pick between two photos. He prefers Rihanna to Taylor Swift, Demi Moore to Rihanna, and so forth. Where things got messy is when DeGeneres threw in two of the former boy-bander's past love interests: Selena Gomez and Ellie Goulding. Gomez, who is currently seeking treatment for her lupus, was passed up in favor of Diane Keaton (just go with it), while Goulding emerged victorious as Horan's perfect match.
You could maybe write that off as a harmless game if it hadn't happened again, last night. During his appearance on The Late Late Show, the One Directioner was once again asked to choose between Goulding and Gomez. If he didn't answer, he'd have to eat beef tongue. "Niall, you’ve dated both Selena Gomez and Ellie Goulding," host James Corden said, showing a rare mean streak. "It’s your last night on Earth, out of the two of them, who would you rather spend it with?” We'd have loved it if Horan had stormed off while sputtering that he's a gentleman, but instead he came up with a totally lame response. "Because it’s the last night on Earth, Ellie is a big fan of Planet Earth by David Attenborough, so I would sit and watch that with her," he offered. "For that reason, Ellie Goulding." Is this all some "Down with Selena" publicity tour? Do people have nothing better to ask him? Horan shouldn't have responded, but DeGeneres and Corden also shouldn't have asked. Guys, anytime you need help drafting questions that don't involve pitting women against each other, just ask us for help!