Crabs scurry around to ominous music, people poop their pants, and off-the-shoulder tops practically count as formalwear. And yet, according to Bachelorette fan favorite Wells Adams (the curly-haired hipster who almost fainted doing the fireman challenge), Paradise is the place to go if you want to find love. I talked to him about why such a seemingly down-to-earth, smart thirtysomething who does not work out for a living or hawk detox tea would agree to be on the cheesiest show in all the Bachelor kingdom. (I mean, Evan the erectile-dysfunction specialist bites into a banana in the opening credits.) Wells swears he went on it to find a real-life lady friend. “Even though it’s a tongue-in-cheek show, it’s a much more realistic way of finding a girlfriend than The Bachelorette is,” he told me. “It’s kind of like camp, where you meet everyone and decide who you want to date, whereas on The Bachelorette, it’s all these guys and one girl. I saw it as a more viable way to go about a relationship on a television show." I’ll admit that the odds make more sense. I couldn’t tell you who Tanner was on Kaitlyn’s season, but on BIP, he was a prize racehorse who ended up marrying Wild Stallion Jade. And yet you have to wonder: At an all-expenses-paid adult summer camp with an open bar and no jobs or competitions or structure of any sort, is everyone just drunk the whole time? Too drunk to make a meaningful connection? “It depends. If you’ve got a date, you’re not really drinking, but if you’re just hanging around Playa Escondida, then yeah, you’re probably just drinking and talking. But on The Bachelorette, I was pretty drunk — a lot. I’ve tended bar in the past, so I would play bartender for everyone. You have a lot more downtime on The Bachelorette than you do on Paradise." Huh. That might explain why all the guys had time to make up a rap about JoJo (and the liquid confidence to bust it out on the bus in Argentina).