Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis kicked off 2015 with a riddle for us all. Kutcher shared a cryptic photo on his Facebook page wishing everyone a happy new year "<3 the Kutchers." Had the two gone and gotten hitched without letting the world know? How dare they, right? Just kidding; they're totally allowed to do whatever they want. It's their personal life.
That doesn't mean people won't speculate, though, and certain inquiring minds are much more up front about it. Take Ellen DeGeneres, for example, who had no chill when it came to asking Mila if Ashton had, in fact, put a ring on it.
First, DeGeneres buttered Kunis up with a lot of baby talk. All new moms love talking about their babies, and Mila is no different. She shared some pretty adorable facts, like how Wyatt weighed 9.5 pounds when she was born, so she skipped the newborn sizes of clothes and diapers entirely. Kunis also said that since she's not working at the moment, they've been able to forgo hiring a nanny so that she and Wyatt could bond and figure each other out. She also revealed that Ashton Kutcher is a "master swaddler" and top-notch diaper changer.
All of that baby talk was just a diversionary tactic, though. Ellen then went to interrogation mode. "Now, there's something he posted. It's my duty, I'm your friend, but it's my duty as a talk show host to ask you the question if you're married because he posted this so it means something. I would think," she said, pulling the aforementioned sand message (heretofore known as "exhibit A") up on the screen.
"Well, you can ask that question," Kunis dodged.
"It says 'The Kutchers,' so it sounds like you're married. I'm gonna say yes," DeGeneres fired back.
"I don't know...We could just be a plural. My daughter has his last name legally," Mila Kunis, master of espionage replied.
Ellen figured out the reason she might be keeping it a secret, though. "Are you still trying to stay on the market for men that think, like if there are guys out there, and he’s sexy too. So. I see. It’s a whole professional thing."
In conclusion, Ashton and Mila are most likely married. We can all continue with our lives.