Ode To Chrissy Teigen's Drunk First Pitch

rexusa_2203527c-EmbedPhoto: Everett Collection/REX USA.
When I interviewed Chrissy Teigen in May, her dog farted on me. Her reaction was something like,"Ha! Dog farts." Then, we talked about ordering Seamless and how I should be dating Curtis Granderson. From this day, I knew the supermodel was my spirit animal. "There's nothing else she could ever do to make me love her more than I do in this moment," I remember thinking.
How very wrong I was.
Tuesday night, Teigen threw the first pitch at the L.A. Dodgers game. And, girlfriend was, in her own words, "pretty drunk."
She actually threw a really good pitch — probably for the same reason you inexplicably get better at beer pong the more you drink. But, it's not even so much her pitch that's got me going. It's her victory lap.
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In this moment, Chrissy Teigen is like the American flag emoji, billowing in the wind as she runs toward the catcher. She is the epitome of freedom. Her jersey, #40, features the name NUGZ, her drunk-rapper name. Teigen is a reminder that we live in a country where all of this is not only possible, but encouraged.
She is, in a word, America.
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