The Orlando Bloom Victory Lap Continues

Orlando Bloom is happy. We hadn't given much thought to the swashbuckling actor prior to this week, but the above video confirms that Legolas doesn't really care. He's on top of the world, and he's gonna dance like no one's watching. He probably wouldn't even mind that someone was filming his little jig. Orlando Bloom is having the best summer — nay, year, ever — and he wants everyone to know.
Today, Us Weekly reported that the actor kissed Nina Dobrev at a Comic-Con party. The two share a manager and have known each another for years. They're now both single, though, and perhaps that set the stage for a little Con-oodling. "The steamy PDA between the Vampire Diaries actress, 25, and Bloom, 37, took place at Zachary Levi's Nerd HQ bash sponsored by Patron XO Cafe," Us alleges.
We try not to make a habit of trading in gossip items, but in the name of all things Bloom and holy, we so want this to be true. Not that it's hard out there for a handsome British actor, but, to reiterate what we said in the beginning of this post, Orlando Bloom is someone to whom we never really pay much attention. For him to dominate news headlines in this way makes for an incredibly amusing summer narrative.
We haven't been this happy about anything Orlando Bloom-related since "Taking the Hobbits to Isengard." Keep clicking for a brief rundown of the actor's epic 2014. Is it too soon to name him Time's Person of the Year?
In April, Bloom received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. That same month, the rumor mill swirled that he was dating Selena Gomez. Besides a few photos of the duo side by side, nothing more of the Gomez-Bloom dalliance ever surfaced. Still, it would later play a key role in Orlando's total summer domination.
May was relatively quiet, Bloom-news-wise. June, however, saw Orlando getting a lap dance from Neil Patrick Harris at the Tony Awards in Hedwig's famous "car wash" moment. He's Blooming, he's Blooming!
orlando-bloom-embedPhoto: REX USA/Picture Perfect.
July officially kicked off the summer of Orlando. The actor split his time between Los Angeles, Europe, and San Diego. There was the purported Nina Dobrev hookup at Comic-Con. Then, of course, came his big moment. The one that made him a hero to anyone who's tired of Justin Bieber and his antics (so, basically, everyone) .
In the early morning hours of July 30, Orlando Bloom punched Justin Bieber in the face. The swing didn't actually connect, but the jab heard 'round the world was enough to give the incident in Ibiza legendary status. "When Orlando punched Bieber, everyone started clapping," Anastasia Skolkova, who saw the incident go down, told The Mirror.
TMZ will gladly take you through the whole sordid backstory of bad blood between Bloom and Bieber. It's one we never expected to know this much about. After the incident, Justin proved that he's clearly the smaller man in this battle when he posted (and then removed) a photo of a sobbing Orlando on Instagram.
Now that he's a global hero, what can't Orlando Bloom do? Here's what we imagine he'll accomplish this August.
— Lead a merry band of men against roving pirates. Bonus points if a guylinered Johnny Depp is somehow involved.
— Have a threesome with Michelle Rodriguez and Zac Efron.
— Head a real-life pilgrimage to Isengard.
— Join season five of Game of Thrones.
— Assemble the Avengers and the Justice League for a fight to the death.
— Publish a novel of his Lord of the Rings fanfic.
— Release a new and improved cut of Elizabethtown.
— Write and record a song with Pharrell. Dance in the music video.
— Film an official music video for this:

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