17 On-Screen Couples Who Have ZERO Chemistry

Okay, look: None of these movies are horrible, per se. None of the actors are bad (well, for the most part), but together...? Well, they simply didn't sell us on their all-encompassing, plot-driving romance. Sorry, guys, but some of these relationships generate more fizzle than steam — and a few make us flat out uncomfortable. (Luckily, there is some on-screen chemistry that will literally set hearts on fire, so we've got that covered, too. And we even love couples that make us feel things, even if they don't work out.)
There is nothing quite as enjoyable as suffering through someone else's uncomfortable fake romance, so here are our couples who have the emotional/sexual connection of a barrel of dead fish.
Though if you are craving some sexy sex, we suggest pouring yourself a tall glass of cold water and checking out these movie scenes.
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Photo: Courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox.
Sandra Bullock & Jason Patric in Speed 2: Cruise Control
The original Speed was such a hit because, despite the clichés and fairly predictable action plot, Keanu and Sandra actually had a couple of cute moments that made their ending smooch gratifying. Then Speed 2 came, they decided to set Speed on a boat, and the entire relationship is based on Patric's character lying to Sandra Bullock. No thanks.
2 of 17
Photo: Courtesy of Summit Entertainment.
Ashley Greene & Jackson Rathbone in The Twilight Series
Bless Ashley Greene's heart, she tried her mightiest to sell us on the love between Jasper and Alice, but aside from always seeing them together, there was no warmth between these two bloodsuckers. (At least Rosalie and Emmett constantly referred to their heavy sex life.) Maybe we are just biased because he was a Confederate with crunchy-looking hair. Crunch, crunch.
3 of 17
Photo: Courtesy of Warner Bros. Ent / David James.
Katie Holmes & Christian Bale in Batman Begins
What was their relationship again? Can anyone remember? Aside from Rachel just reassuring Bruce that he was a good man, over and over again? And then Christian-Bale-as-Batman would stare blankly at her. Audiences loved it so much she was replaced for the next sequel.
4 of 17
Photo: Courtesy of Universal Studios / Gemma La Mana
Jennifer Aniston & Paul Rudd in Wanderlust
Both Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd do lovey-funny instead of sexy-heat, but together, they just become strangely dopey. Also, both play pretty unlikeable characters, which is always a bummer.
5 of 17
Photo: Courtesy of Waner Bros.
Farley Granger & Ruth Roman in Strangers on a Train
Hitchcock didn't really "get" romance, but this one was particularly awful. Not only was Granger having a hard time playing it straight on-screen, but everyone famously interprets his darkly homosexual chemistry with Robert Walker's Bruno. Also, the fact that his hetero relationship was a convenient career stepping-stone also made us cringe a bit.
6 of 17
Photo: Courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox.
James Franco & Freida Pinto in Rise of the Planet of the Apes
We love Freida Pinto. We love her to death. And James Franco is an institution. But there was no compelling reason this couple was together, except to keep her relevant in the movie, and maybe have her patiently acting as a stand-in for Caesar's (the ape's) conscience.
7 of 17
Photo: Courtesy of Lucasfilm.
Hayden Christensen & Natalie Portman in Star Wars: Episodes II - III
These two were acting like they were in two different movies. Maybe it was the dialogue, or maybe it was the fact they just didn't click on-screen, but...are you telling us that this was the romance that helped tear the galaxy far, far apart and gave birth to both Luke and Leia, dooming the galactic alliance and its tenants for good? As if.
8 of 17
Photo: Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Keanu Reeves & Carrie-Anne Moss in The Matrix Trilogy
Okay, in the first Matrix, we could tolerate it. But for the second and third iterations, constantly saying you love someone doesn't make the audience feel it anymore. And that sex scene intercut with the tribal rave simply was not cutting it.
9 of 17
Photo: Courtesy of Waner Bros.
Brad Pitt & Catherine Zeta-Jones in Ocean's Twelve
This is a classic case of taking two gigantic names (with hot faces/bodies) and smashing them together without bothering to read through it first. For two people capable of emitting such powerful sexuality in other films, it's pretty remarkable how stale their first interaction turns out to be, despite the atmospheric music and European setting. If you can turn your viewers off when "Crepusculo sul mare" is playing, you're definitely doing it wrong.
10 of 17
Photo: Courtesy of Universal Studios.
Vin Diesel & Michelle Rodriguez in The Fast & The Furious
Just so you know, this doesn't mean that we don't like The Fast & The Furious, because we do. We just don't buy Michelle and Vin together at all. At all, at all.
11 of 17
Photo: Courtesy of Paramount Pictures.
Molly Ringwald & Andrew McCarthy in Pretty in Pink
Gosh, we love this movie, but like the rest of sane America, we believe that Duckie was clearly the better choice. Not only did Blane barely stick up for Andy, but his name was Blane.
12 of 17
Photo: Courtesy of Miramax Films.
Leonardo DiCaprio and Cameron Diaz in Gangs of New York
Yes, it was an Oscar-nominated movie, and both Leo and Cameron give it their all, but their relationship is nowhere as intense as the one between DiCaprio and Daniel Day-Lewis. It's as if Cameron is kind of an afterthought.
13 of 17
Photo: Courtesy of New Line Cinema.
Owen Wilson and Rachel McAdams in Wedding Crashers
It's not really fair to judge these two characters, because they suffered from the juxtaposition of Vince Vaughn and Isla Fisher, who were absolutely hilarious in this movie. We would've much preferred to watch their story than the pithy, bland conversations between the usually lovely McAdams and the also perfectly enjoyable Wilson. Whether it was their vibe, the writing, or both, we couldn't possibly have cared less about their romance — which made it all the more bewildering that their story was, apparently, supposed to carry the plot through the entire second act.
14 of 17
Photo: Courtesy of Warner Brothers
Leonardo DiCaprio and Armie Hammer, J. Edgar
Both Leo and Armie are exquisite actors, but both of them struggled through the stilted period speech and put-ons by each of their characters, resulting in two very straight men trying unsuccessfully to convince an audience of some latent passion. Their fight scene was palpable, but didn't have a natural flow or personal need tucked within the lines.
15 of 17
Photo: Courtesy of Columbia Pictures.
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck in Gigli
This is the movie that brought us the insightful line, "In every relationship, there's a bull and a cow. It just so happens that in this relationship, right here with me and you, I'm the bull, you're the cow. Alright?" Alright.
16 of 17
Photo: Courtesy of Screen Gems.
Beyoncé and Idris Elba, Obsessed
Elba confessed that kissing Beyoncé was "weird." This is Queen Bey he's talking about here; "Countdown"/"Single Ladies"/Married-to-Jay Z Beyoncé. If "weird" is all Elba can use to describe kissing her, than the hope for real chemistry is close to zero.
17 of 17
Photo: Courtesy of Columbia Pictures.
Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp in The Tourist
Hollywood, take note: Just taking two super sexy actors and putting them together does not a compelling film make. Our secret guess: Maybe their love scenes fell flat because they never dated before...?

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