12 Flatshare Disasters That'll Make You Wish You Lived Alone

Illustrated by Mallory Heyer
Thanks to a truly rubbish housing crisis, more and more of us are being forced to live with housemates for a lot longer than we'd like to.
Because of this, everyone's got more than their fair share of odd flatshare stories. We've all met the "nightmare" housemate who piles dirty dishes up in the sink on a regular basis, and we're well accustomed to the flatmate who thinks your wardrobe is also hers. But what about when things get really strange?
We created a survey in partnership with Toluna and asked R29 readers to share their very worst housemate stories and, well, it's safe to say that we've not been sleeping right since. Click through to read...
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1 of 12

The Conqueror

My flatmate would end up at a different boy's house each night and would ask to borrow their shoes to walk home. She would collect the shoes and make a mountain from them in the communal kitchen as a sign of her conquests.
2 of 12

The Kleptomaniac

My flatmate stole my mum's engagement ring and tried to help me find it as if she hadn’t. She kept telling me I should be more careful about losing stuff.
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3 of 12

The Sleepwalker

A housemate sleepwalked into our living room and urinated in the corner.
4 of 12

The Foodie

My housemate made inedible stew. It stuck to the pan and broke the spoon when we tried to scrape it out. Then she threw a wobbler when we wouldn't eat it.
5 of 12

The Innovator

I came into the kitchen to the most disgusting smell. It was like burnt hair and was coming from the oven and it turned out my flatmate wanted to dry out his dirty rugby socks quickly so popped them in the oven and promptly forgot about them. We couldn't cook in the oven for the rest of the month!
6 of 12

The Love Fool

I had a housemate who suddenly turned against me when she started a relationship with our other housemate. They were incompatible but she took it all out on me. They eventually moved out overnight after not paying the landlord two months' rent each and trashing the house. They also reported me to the RSPCA as they knew how much I love my cat.
7 of 12

The Mysterious One

I moved into a shared house when I was 16 and there were two guys living there at the time but they said they also had a female housemate. About two months later, however, she hadn't returned to the house. One day, we were having a house party so we went into her room to check it was okay in case people went in and we found bloodstained tissues, her dressing gown and bedcovers covered in blood. We thought something bad had happened... Turns out she had had a botched nose job and gone into hiding with relatives until she got it fixed!
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8 of 12

The Chocolate Thief

My housemate ate my whole advent calendar and then hid the box in a drawer. When I found it there were no chocolates left. It was very sad for me because I love chocolate.
9 of 12

The Umm... What?

I was once roommates with an extremely Christian girl and she wouldn't eat bananas or cucumbers because she said Jesus wouldn't want her to because they were shaped like male genitalia. She also made a line down the centre of the room with chalk – her side and mine – and would label things constantly as 'hers' even when I bought them. She also told me that Jesus wouldn't want me to be vegan and that when I buttered toast for her I should butter it in the shape of a cross. Also I wasn't allowed to listen to rock music or watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer because they are 'Satanic'.
10 of 12

The Filth-Monger

My housemate asked me what detergent was. Six months after we'd moved in together.
11 of 12

The Zoologist

My housemate bought a bunch of pet snakes and tarantulas and didn't tell me until I found a dead mouse defrosting on the radiator.
12 of 12

The Madam

When I was at university, my flatmate kept stealing all my belongings. It started out small but it became worse over time and she started stealing clothes, money etc. I came back from visiting my boyfriend after a long weekend once and started getting wolf whistles on campus and strange looks off guys in the library. Eventually a guy approached me and asked "How much for a blow job?" I was shocked and enquired why he would even ask that. It turned out my flatmate had set up a Tinder profile with my pictures and information, selling sex.
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