Why Solo Travel Is Important Whether You’re Single Or In A Relationship

It wasn't until I was single in my late twenties that I realised that, much like the movie tropes, I, too, had a habit of travelling solo to find myself again. I realised I'd go on these big solo adventures to push myself out of my comfort zone, reignite my independence, rebuild my sense of self, and prove that I could travel without a partner by my side.

Of course, I loved every minute of it. But it felt like I would always wait until some devastating breakup before I'd go travelling alone — because heaven forbid I travel alone while dating someone. Over the years, I travelled with friends and family overseas, but I'd never consciously chosen to travel alone unless it was after a breakup. I know, it's all very eat, pray, love-coded.

So, when I finally decided to book a solo trip, not off the back of a breakup, the universe threw me a curve ball. A few months before I met my current long-term partner, I booked a solo trip overseas for my birthday. Because I still wanted to be around people on my birthday, I decided to join a small group trip similar to the ones Intrepid Travel offers (some of which you can book for up to 20% off during its World Sale right now). I wanted to push myself to make new friends, challenge myself by freediving to depths I'd never experienced, and learn new skills while exploring beautiful Fiji alone.

Then, I met Blake. When we first started dating, we figured out we were born a day apart, which meant that if I went on my trip, we'd be spending our birthdays apart — which sounds horrible when you're newly dating and in the honeymoon phase. So, Blake asked how I'd feel if he came on my freediving trip too. Initially, I freaked out and immediately said no. I was so afraid that by letting him come with me, I'd lose my independence, and the whole purpose of my trip would completely change.

July got closer and there was still this ambiguity around whether or not Blake should come. I decided it was time to have a conversation with Blake to explain why I was so torn. I explained how much solo travelling has always meant to me — it's always been a way for me to reconnect to myself, grow and challenge myself, enjoy my own company. And this time, I was going because I wanted to, not because I was running away from a breakup.

On the other hand, I also wanted to spend our birthdays together, and make memories overseas. But I was torn.

Luckily for me, Blake's done plenty of solo travelling over the years, so he immediately understood and proposed that I basically have my (birthday) cake and eat it, too. He suggested I still go on the eight-day diving trip alone. Then he'd fly over and we'd travel together for another eight days. The small crossover would mean that we got to spend both of our birthdays together, and I'd still get to have my solo trip.

And so that's what we did. I went to Fiji alone, spent seven days freediving with new friends, exploring the small villages by myself, and becoming a better freediver. Then, two days before the diving expedition was over, Blake joined in. I got to introduce him to all the wonderful people I'd met. We got to go diving and spearfishing together, cooked and ate with the locals and made some incredible memories before leaving the group and travelling some more.

Now, it's almost a year later and we're planning our 30ths and find ourselves roles reversed. Blake wants to go on a solo surfing trip, but we also want to spend our birthdays together. We are turning 30, after all. So, we've reversed it. He's heading off for three weeks surfing before I'll meet him overseas for another three weeks, and we'll travel together. I'm still trying to figure out if I'll take those three weeks and travel solo myself before meeting him (this Mexico Unplugged trip is calling my name), but I love that we know it works for us, and we're happy to travel that way.

Before this relationship, I understood the importance of travelling solo while I was single, but I didn't fully understand just how important it was while I was in a relationship, too. Travelling solo gives you the space to continue to grow as a person, it can strengthen your relationship with both yourself and your partner, and it allows you to explore places and activities that maybe your partner isn't as excited about.

Travelling solo is also a wonderful reminder that you can’t rely on your partner or your friends to be everything to you — you need to be everything to yourself. If you are a woman and you're keen to travel solo (single or in a relationship) but don't know where to start, I suggest doing something like I did. Try joining small group adventures like Intrepid Travel's Women's Expedition in Morocco — which is a female-only group led by a local female tour guide. It can be intimidating to book a trip solo, let alone figure out where to go when you’re actually there. Trips like North India Highlights are a great way to overcome these fears, where you can have everything planned out for you, and give you a local insight into spots you might not have thought to visit otherwise.

That way you're more likely to meet other like-minded solo travellers who are looking to share similar experiences to your own. Those small group trips also give you that safe feeling that might be missing when you travel without your friends or partner.

Even if you want to do one leg solo and meet up with friends or your partner afterwards, you won't regret it.