We Assigned Zodiac Signs To Clothes-Hanger Styles (Yes, Really)

Read at your own risk if either of following apply: 1. You've felt personally attacked by an incorrect horoscope assignment (Aries as pineapple pizzas?!) 2. You don't use clothes hangers (how are you organizing your closets?!). We take horoscopes and shopping very seriously at R29 — two things that some consider small potatoes in the grander garden of life. If you're like us though, then a shoppable clothes-hanger guide based off Zodiac signs will make complete sense. Total, practical, sense.

Ahead, we apply the fickle powers of astrological traits to determine what type of closet-organization item you are; from modest wood-hanger Virgos to powerful black-velvet Scorpios and practical white-plastic Capricorns. Scroll on to feel validated, enraged (chirp it out in the comments below), or just to shop some solid sets of value-packaged and stylish clothes hangers — it is back-to-school season, after all.


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Made By Design Wood Hanger

Virgo (August 23 to September 22)
All you modest, selfless, and earthy Virgos out there are just like a pack of sustainable wooden hangers — streamlining garments while looking natural and staying humble.
Made By Design Wood Hanger (24-Pack), $20.00 Buy

HAY Copper Hanger

Libra (September 23 to October 22)
You balanced and harmonious beings are as shiny and symmetrical as these gilded, copper hangers.
Hay Copper Hanger (5-Pack), $11.00 Buy

AmazonBasics Velvet Non-Slip Hangers

Scorpio (October 23 to November 21)
Scorpios don't slip — the powerful, intuitive, and emotional sign is set to keep clothes up with black-velvet intensity.
Amazon Basics Velvet Hangers (50-Pack), $24.99 Buy

Smilenut Folding Travel Hangers

Sagittarius (November 22 to December 21)
A 12-pack of lightweight, packable travel hangers are the clothes-organizing epitome of the adventurous Sagittarius — chasing after all your intellectual to spiritual pursuits while staying wrinkle-free.
Smilenut Folding Travel Hangers (12-Pack), $11.48 Buy

Honey-Can-Do Recycled Plastic Hangers 

Capricorn (December 22 to January 19)
Hear us out, Capricorns: you're realists — and it doesn't get much more practical than a pack of recycled-plastic hangers that will keep you in straightforward shape for getting that daily ambition bread.
Honey-Can-Do Recycled Plastic Hangers (15-Pack), $5.21 Buy

Plastic Dress Hanger

Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)
Being the stubborn Aquarius that you are, admitting your fate as plastic dress hanger may be hard — but, this no-frills style gets the supportive job done. Plus, you're too busy with your creative endeavors to be bothered with a more solid system (and, you get 100 of these for $0.31 a pop).
NAHANCO Plastic Dress Hanger (100-Pack), $37.00 $30.95 Buy

Whitmor Canvas Padded Hangers

Pisces (February 19 to March 20)
You wild, emotional Pisces are the padded canvas (or satin, if you're feelin' frisky) hangers of the closet world.
Whitmor Canvas Padded Hangers (6-Pack), $11.99 Buy

JUNING Stainless Steel Hangers

Aries (March 21 to April 19)
Aries take the bold, determined, and direct form of 50 strong, sharp, and stainless-steel hangers.
JUNING Stainless Steel Metal Clothes Hangers (50-Pack), $28.99 Buy

Etsy Geometric Copper Hangers

Taurus (April 20 to May 20)
Taurus won't question how these minimalist-chic triangle hangers will actually support clothes — because they (much like the hangers) are resilient, and believe that impractical luxury will find a way.
LightCookie2 Geometric Copper Hangers (2-Pack), $22.94 Buy

Isaac Mizrahi Velvet Hangers

Gemini (May 21 to June 20)
Similar to Scorpios (but minus the sting), Geminis are the pink non-slip hangers that look just as fast-paced and fun as they feel.
Isaac Mizrahi Velvet Hangers Set (30-Pack), $13.00 Buy

MIZGI Space-Saving Velvet Hangers

Cancer (June 22 to July 22)
Some may call you clingy, no-slip Cancer hangers, but we call you loyal and space-saving inside our closest closet circles.
MIZGI Space-Saving Velvet Hangers (50-Pack), $23.95 Buy

The Container Store Sunset Tubular Hangers

Leo (July 23 to August 22)
You, like these sunset-ombre hangers, rule — taking on the world and your closet while lookin' good and lovin' a little attention (no shame, you're colorful and you deserve it).
The Container Store Tubular Hangers (72-Pack), $23.04 $19.44 Buy
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