Someone At The Onion Has A Problem With Bargains

Photo: John Greim/Getty Images.
This an updated version of a previously published article.
Last year in the wake of booming sales Business Insider, described T.J. Maxx as "Macy's worst nightmare.” Apparently the department store is also on someone at The Onion’s hit list as well, although the reason there is a lot less clear. (Maybe the store ran out of Dolce Vita pumps in the writer’s half-size.) Its recent story about T.J. Maxx's "new website" eviscerates many of the very things that people who love shopping there find so thrilling — the ever-changing assortment of products, the delightful randomness of certain bargains, and, of course, the scented candles by the register.
"When you visit, you’ll immediately be presented with an assortment of surplus clothing available exclusively in sizes that don't fit you, just as you would if you actually walked into one of our stores," CEO Ernie Herrman "told" The Onion. "Select 'shoes' from the drop-down menu, and you'll see scores of the same pair of Dolce Vita pumps, a variety of sneaker styles for which only the left shoe is available, some Tupperware without lids, and the occasional ceramic owl."
Before you reach checkout, this website dreamed up by The Onion staff will redirect you through "several pages of off-brand multicolored iPhone chargers and dusty caramel corn tins." And once you do take out your wallet to pay, the article continues, you'll be charged a totally different price from the one that was listed. (Here’s what actually happens, in my experience: My mom would hand me a bundle of T.J. Maxx coupons and the purchase would cost next to nothing.)
What the article doesn’t mention is one of the major upsides to shopping at T.J. Maxx. Once in awhile, when I'm laser-focused on finding that one thing, I'll emerge with something like the $10 Brooks Brothers tie I found for my dad to wear to my wedding. There are true bargains to be found if you like the thrill of the hunt. And those coupons? They really make everything worth it.

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