30 Couples That Are Never, Ever Getting Back Together (But We Really Wish They Would)

Photo: Elliot Salazar/Moviestore Collection/REX Shutterstock.
They say breaking up is hard to do, but is it really? In movies, it actually looks pretty easy. Simply walk in on your partner cheating, break out your left hook, or hit them with a line like, "You're not terribly important to me." Have your hearing-impaired brother reveal all via sign language at your wedding. Psych yourself up for a big proposal. Stomp out with some Aretha cued up. Take your pick.

Hollywood has hit us with countless breakup scenes, from the tear-jerking to the triumphant to the way harsh. Some of the following clips will make you punch the air, and some will have you reeling like Claire Danes at a wake. Consider yourself warned.
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Video: Courtesy Buena Vista Distribution.
The Parent Trap, 1961

Both versions of The Parent Trap see Daddy's diva girlfriend get her comeuppance in a highly entertaining way. Slapping precocious twin girls, however, is never okay.
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Video: Courtesy Columbia Pictures.
Stripes, 1981

In his defense, dumpee Bill Murray does make a really good point about Tito Puente.
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Video: Courtesy Paramount Pictures.
Pretty in Pink, 1986

Blane will not be taking any questions about prom today.
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Video: Courtesy Paramount Pictures.
Wayne's World, 1992

Anyone else have a sneaking suspicion that Stacy is now head of her local NRA chapter? Wayne seriously dodged a bullet.
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Video: Courtesy Gramercy Pictures.
Four Weddings and a Funeral, 1994

Tough break, Duck Face.
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Video: Courtesy Columbia Pictures.
Sense and Sensibility, 1995

Whatevs. Colonel Brandon is worth 1,000 Willoughbys, anyway.
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Video: Courtesy TriStar Pictures.
Jerry Maguire, 1996

In which Kelly Preston goes all Duck Face on Tom Cruise.
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Video: Courtesy Miramax.
Good Will Hunting, 1997

What's worse? Will telling an emotional Skylar that he doesn't love her (LIE), or Matt Damon dumping Minnie Driver in real life on Oprah? Either way, Driver's face perfectly registers her heartbreak.
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Video: Courtesy New Line Cinema.
The Wedding Singer, 1998

Robbie Hart does not take getting dumped at the altar well.
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Video: Courtesy Colombia Pictures.
Cruel Intentions, 1999

Sebastian Valmont hits the bottom of the breakup barrel with the ol' "it's not you, it's me" line.
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Video: Courtesy Buena Vista Pictures.
High Fidelity, 2000

Breakups suck. Discovering that your ex hasn't yet slept with his or her new paramour, however, does not.
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Video: Courtesy Lions Gate Films.
American Psycho, 2000

Patrick Bateman doesn't beat around the bush: "You're not terribly important to me." Then he ditches to her to "return some videotapes."
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Video: Courtesy Miramax Films.
Bridget Jones's Diary, 2001

Why can't all breakups/job walkouts be this self-assured and badass? That'll teach him to run off with a snotty, body-shaming American.
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Video: Courtesy MGM.
Legally Blonde, 2001

"So you're breaking up with me because I'm too blonde?" Oh, Elle. Never let someone try to turn your Marilyn into a Jackie.
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Video: Courtesy USA Films.
Wet Hot American Summer, 2001

When your girlfriend says her priority is having sex...but not with you.
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Video: Courtesy Buena Vista Pictures.
The Royal Tenenbaums, 2001

That awkward moment when you have to end things with your adopted brother.
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Video: Courtesy Focus Features.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, 2004

Otherwise known as the longest breakup scene of all time.
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Video: Courtesy Columbia Pictures.
Closer, 2004

"I don't love you anymore," Natalie Portman's Alice tells her lover Dan, played by Jude Law. She then hits him with a breakup speech so poignant we're not ashamed to admit we've totally quoted it in our own messy situations.
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Video: Courtesy Universal Pictures/Rogue Pictures.
Shaun of the Dead, 2004

Nick Frost is perhaps not the best shoulder to cry on after you've been dumped by your girlfriend.
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Video: Courtesy Columbia Pictures.
Hitch, 2005

"Just tell me what I did wrong!" "Dude, you're doing it right now!"
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Video: Courtesy Universal Pictures.
The Break-Up, 2006

Every girl likes flowers, Gary.
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Video: Courtesy New Line Cinema.
Sex and the City, 2008

Nobody stands up Carrie Bradshaw on her wedding day and gets away with it. Here's hoping Big was allergic to flowers.
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Video: Courtesy Fox Searchlight Pictures.
(500) Days of Summer, 2009

When someone compares your relationship to Sid and Nancy, it's time to make tracks.
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Video: Courtesy Columbia Pictures.
The Social Network, 2010

But look at Mark Zuckerberg now!
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Video: Courtesy The Weinstein Company.
Blue Valentine, 2010

Interlacing a romantic wedding flashback with a heart-wrenching conversation about divorce calls for a giant box of tissues. Ugh, that hug.
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Video: Courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures.
Crazy, Stupid, Love, 2011

When Josh Groban gives you the Heisman in a speech involving sound effects, the only thing you can do is get wasted.
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Video: Courtesy Paramount Vantage.
Like Crazy, 2011

We weren't the only ones overly invested in the push-pull of this long-distance relationship, right?
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Video: Courtesy Screen Gems.
Friends With Benefits, 2011

What we really mean when we say we want to stay friends.
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Video: Courtesy Paramount Pictures.
The Wolf of Wall Street, 2013

Mean, but effective. Have sex with your spouse, then announce that you "wanna divahce."
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Video: Courtesy Wild Bunch.
Blue is the Warmest Color, 2013

Emma lets her lover have it when she discovers she's been sleeping with a man on the side. Can't say we blame her, even if the later scene in which Adèle tries to win Emma back makes us cry like a baby.

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