The Ultimate Super Bowl 2020 Drinking Game

Photographed by Eric Helgas.
Super Bowl Sunday is one of those national events that bring all kinds of people together. But I am personally of the opinion that the halftime show is the real institution here – rarely do we ever get the chance to witness such titanic levels of talent, musical virtuosity, and masterful choreography. And with JLo and Shakira sharing the stage, their performance might rival that of the athletes.
The Super Bowl is a big night for sports, a big night in music, and a big night for ads. But it's also a big night for food and drink. The Super Bowl will be littered with ads featuring celebrities, and TikTokers promoting everything from McDonald’s to Bud Light Seltzer. And at home, there will be wings, there will dip, and there will be a snack assortment and an array of small hot appetizers. And for those of you who so choose and are also of legal drinking age, there will be alcohol.
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So let’s not let the San Francisco 49ers and the Kansas City Chiefs have all the fun. Lets play a game of our own. Queue up the shots, the mixed drinks, and the mega wine glasses that say, “sassy” on them and get ready to play an innocent Super Bowl Drinking Game.
But before we continue: Fun games don’t end up in the hospital, so listen to your body and adjust the game to accommodate your alcohol tolerance. Also, it’s a Sunday, so don’t make Monday You pay for Sunday You’s decisions.
The rules are simple – if the following criteria are met, you drink. Take a sip or have a shot. It’s up to you. If you opt for shots, you can pick and choose which of these would be the most fun to drink to and ignore the rest.
Drink every time Katie Sowers (assistant coach to the 49ers) is looking hot.
Drink every time 49ers quarterback Jimmy Garropolo is looking hot.
If you’re at a viewing party, drink every time someone says they "don’t know sports" or makes a joke along the lines of “OMG home run!” Because we all know both that person and the “yay slam dunk!” jokes get old fast.
Once you reach your third shot or finish your first drink, you have to do the Renegade.
Take a sip or shot every time someone attempts to do a TikTok dance.
If an ad has puppies or other cute small animals, you drink.
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If an ad tugs at your heartstrings, you drink.
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