A Week In Jersey City, NJ On A $270,000 Household Income

Occupation: Speech language pathologist — assistant director
Industry: Nonprofit
Age: 35
Location: Jersey City, NJ
Salary: $93,500 plus about $15,000 from private clients (but this number varies).
Household Income/Finances Setup: $270,000. My fiancé E. and I live together, but finances are separate. We split rent evenly and he pays for weekly groceries and more daily expenses. He makes about $50,000 more than me (for the purposes of this diary I’ve used a ballpark household income).
Assets: Checking: $8,583; HYSA: $17,137; CDs: $44,356; various investment/brokerage accounts: $20,300; pension from an old job: $68,000; IRA: $25,679; 401(k) from current job: $7,699; HSA: $965.
Debt: Credit card: $3,212 (higher than usual due to a recent trip — I will pay it off this week).
Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $2,244.18, plus about $425 from private clients (though this varies).
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing Costs: My half of $3,550 rent.
Loan Payments: $0
Verizon: $85 (split with E.).
PSEG: ~$120 (split with E.).
Hulu & Spotify: $21
E-ZPass: ~$250
Simple Practice: $49
401(k): I contribute 15% per paycheck, with a 3% match from my employer. I also max out an IRA annually.
Dog Food: $75 (every six weeks).

Other Expenses

Car Insurance: $443 every six months.
Website & Domain: ~$115 for private practice (annually).
Liability Insurance: $75 (annually).
ASHA Membership: $250 (annually).
Healthcare: This is fully covered via my employer, a perk of my job.

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, but I was an eager student. I went to a private undergrad college for two years and transferred to a public state school that had a speech pathology program for two and a half years. My parents paid about $20,000 and I took out loans for the rest. I went to grad school at a CUNY school. I paid as I went and had a small amount of grad school loans that I paid off quickly. Most of my loans were from the two years taking gen ed classes at the private school. Live and learn.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My mom was very open with me about money, and her perceived lack of it. She always showed me the bills from my ballet classes, because they couldn’t really afford them. In college, she helped me fill out the FAFSA and applications for loans, but just to show me how to do it and how much they were able to help with financially. It felt like she was shaming me at the time, but I think she meant to equip me with more than she knew. I recently learned that she did not do this with my younger brother, which is strange.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I worked at a camp every summer when I was about 14. I started assisting ballet classes to help towards tuition when I was about 15. I babysat my whole block through high school. I always felt like I wanted to hustle to try to have spending money.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Very much. My mom handled the finances and my parents fought about money constantly. I was the oldest, and my mom would often complain to me that my (dyslexic) dad refused to go back to college after he finished his associate’s degree, or that he didn’t have the drive to get a better paying job. In retrospect, that wasn’t appropriate of her to say to her child. She made more money than him, but he worked very hard, too. We lived in a very wealthy area, so I thought we were downright poor. In reality, we were very much middle class. When I transferred to the state school, I finally realized how lucky I was to have what I did growing up.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes. I want children soon and we live in a VHCOL area. I am proud of myself for what I’ve saved, and so happy with the life I’ve created, but I know I’m behind many financial benchmarks. My salary has fluctuated as I’ve switched between settings. Working for a nonprofit means I’m making less than I would in other settings in NY/NJ at this point in my career, so I offset it with my private clients. Since I love my job so much, it feels more than worth it for quality of life (but… Talk to me when I’m nearing retirement, and we will see if I still feel that way).

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I lived at home in grad school, so probably when I moved out at age 24. When I was in grad school, my mom started showing early signs of dementia. Even though I was financially dependent on them, I became a young caregiver while living at home. My parents have relied on me for many things since I was about 22, and we have helped each other out in different ways. For example, she abruptly stopped buying groceries reliably while I was living there, so I took over that role and expense. My dad would gladly take me in if I needed somewhere to stay, though he has fairly tight finances himself. My fiancé E. and I are each other’s safety net as well. (Of note: This is a different partner from my prior Money Diary. I was also engaged in the last diary, but we called it off before the wedding after he was caught cheating for the second time. I couldn’t be happier with E. Thank goodness I got out of the last situation relatively unscathed, trust issues notwithstanding).

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My parents gave me their old car my junior year of college. They contributed $20,000 towards college. When my grandparents died, I received $5,000 which also went towards college. 

9:45 a.m. — I wake up on the couch after a rotten night’s sleep. E. is sick, and since I gave the cold to him and he slept on the couch while I was sick, I figured it was my turn.

10 a.m. — Hop in the shower, walk the dog, tiptoe into the bedroom but still wake E. I get dressed while we chat; he still feels like garbage, woof.

10:30 a.m. — Head out for the hour drive up to my mom’s nursing home. I eat a banana that I threw in my bag. It costs $26.56 in tolls (covered by my E-ZPass) and this is going AROUND the route that would include congestion pricing, which would increase the total by another $27, round trip. Let us not forget that congestion pricing is really just a toll on New Jersey. 

11:30 a.m. — Meet up with my mom’s friend who is joining for the visit. Mom has had dementia for 12 years; we placed her in a nursing home in August and it has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. She was tired today but we had a decent visit.

3 p.m. — On my way home I go to the grocery store to grab some items for the week. This is usually E.’s weekly task but again, I am a martyr. I grab toilet paper, salmon, lemons, cumin, pretzel sticks, asparagus, coffee creamer, cheese, and a few other things. $76.34

4:30 p.m. — Home and ready to crash out for a bit and have a sandwich. But first, a dog walk. I chat on the phone with my dad — he is a few months post radiation/chemo for cancer in the base of his tongue. He has a terrible ulcer and is in a lot of pain, but this weekend has seemed to be feeling a bit better.

7 p.m. — Make dinner and hang from afar with E. in hopes he joins the world of the living soon.

9 p.m. — Throw in laundry.

11p.m. — Realize I have forgotten aforementioned laundry. Run to the basement and grab it.

11:30 p.m. — Asleep on the other couch, not the one I slept on last night. We call this the dog couch — it is smellier but softer!

6:50 a.m. — Awake and better rested. Dog couch > human couch for night time. Morning routine of CeraVe face wash, vitamin C lotion and SPF, some concealer, blush and mascara.

8:30 a.m. — Get into work, make oatmeal, and chat with some coworkers as I’m gearing up for the day. I have the unicorn dream job and I feel so lucky to be working where I do. As a speech language pathologist, so many jobs are just about billing insurance so that your employer can make money on your back. Our intervention model is different from 1:1 speech therapy, but I still get to use my skills. I work with adults who have a very specific type of communication disorder and I don’t want to dox myself, so we will leave it at that.

10 a.m. — I get the news that my brother matched for his residency! He finds out where on Friday. As the elder daughter who basically taught him to read, I feel so proud. Salad and pretzels from home for lunch, plus dipping into the office chocolate stash.

4:00 p.m. — I usually head out around this time twice a week to see two clients, but my first one canceled. I use the time to vacuum my car with a new car vacuum. It is a gift from a client and I have been so excited to play with the attachments. I speak with my dad on the drive, and try to encourage him/remind him to time his meds around his meals. I also grab gas. $27

5:30 p.m. — Client session. My private practice is all pediatrics. I have a terrific set of clients, I currently only see four per week.

7 p.m. — Desperate search for parking, finally home. E is feeling way better and cooks! Here’s hoping any germs die in the oven.

9 p.m. — I walk the dog, exercise in my room, and finally chill out a bit.

11 p.m. — In bed. E and I are sharing a bed for the first time in a while since we have both been sick, and it’s comforting that the band’s back together.

6:45 a.m. — Wake up feeling groggy. My dog awaits me on the couch for cuddles and coffee. I get my butt into gear and do my morning routine, quickly kiss E. and head out the door.

8:30 a.m. — Oatmeal for breakfast. Very busy day at work today. We have an intake/tour with a woman and her husband — the woman reminds me a lot of my mom and it leaves me in a weird headspace. I don’t have a moment to process it because my day is pretty hectic, so it just sort of lingers in my brain.

12:30 p.m. — Leftovers and salad for lunch.

5:45 p.m. — I speak to my dad on the drive home. Feeling cautiously optimistic about his status. I rush home, and I’m just there long enough to change. E. got us tickets to a wine class for beginners.

6:30 p.m. — Swipe on the PATH train (my Metrocard is prepaid). We make it on time and the class is awesome. The teacher explained all of the things to smell for and taste for when you’re trying a new wine, and introduced the concept of how to select food and wine pairings. We taste based on things like salt and butter, we tried wines with different flavors. I feel like I learned more from this than any other wine tasting I’ve been to. We even get to take notes! We get one of the bottles of wine on the way out and I pay. $14.80

8:30 p.m. — We head to a ramen spot in the West Village and I eat until I’m uncomfortable, but luckily the walk to the PATH station makes me feel better. E pays.

10:30 p.m. — I tend to do the dog’s night walks and now that E. is better our normal routine is resumed. Shower, bedtime routine, and pass out hard after a very busy, jam packed day. I see that my monthly charge for my electronic medical record (that I use for the private practice) went through which went up considerably recently. It is now $49 instead of the usual $29. I contemplate getting rid of it, but I appreciate how much easier it makes my life so that will be tabled for another time. 

6:45 a.m. — This morning I woke up feeling much more well rested; it sounds like E. did not have such luck. Dog cuddles, coffee, etc.

8:30 a.m. — Productive day at work: We hold an education program for people who are new to having the communication disorder that we treat. A big chunk of today was preparing for that, and even though it’s a lot of administrative stuff, there’s some nice satisfaction in checking that off the list.

12:30 p.m. — Lunch is random produce from home cut up, and turkey slices. A coworker always yells at me about my lack of protein and she usually isn’t wrong. When I say random produce, I mean I’m the lady who brings a full cucumber, tomato, and bell pepper into the office and cut it up throughout the week to force veggies on myself.

4:00 p.m. — Leave work — my first client canceled. It’s the same one who canceled on Monday. They’re having some health issues in the family so I end up with a free hour, and I sit at a park and do a little bit of life admin, like checking emails, which is made way better by doing it in the sun on a park bench.

5:30 p.m. — Head to my client. Oh no, the mom forgot to warn her kid that I was coming! I walk into a precarious situation with a cranky 7-year-old. We muster through with lots of choices and reinforcers (aka games), I’m not above it when the going gets tough.

6:40 p.m. — I meet up with a coworker friend. She is thinking of moving to my old neighborhood so we are working our way through all the good bars/restaurants, so she can make an informed decision. We stumble upon trivia night and decide to go for it. After fighting for our lives, we end up fourth out of eight teams and I feel proud. I get two beers and we split some apps. $36

9:45 p.m. — Home and chat with E. I take the dog out, shower, and collapse to bed. 

6:45 a.m. — Up and at ’em. Why am I always running late — how does this happen? Turkey sandwich for breakfast.

8:30 a.m. — Another busy day at work today: a new client intake process, run my sessions and a big team meeting at the end of the day. Lunch was some more random produce and leftovers. I head out an hour early for a doctor’s appointment.

5 p.m. — I head to a specialist — my obgyn wants me to see someone who specializes in higher risk pregnancies since I have hypertension. (We had a family planning appointment a few weeks ago.) This guy is… Something. He tells me it’s “sexy” that I’m a speech therapist, fist bumps me multiple times, and taps his watch when telling me that I need to get moving on having a baby since I’m 35. I promise you don’t need to remind me, I am super aware doc, thanks. Didn’t love that. He recommends changing a med I’m on and sends me to get an echo with a cardiologist. How fun. No copay, but I’ll get a bill in the mail.

6:45 p.m. — Home and tell E. all about the doctor and his strange behavior. I throw together a dinner of things in the pantry — cauliflower, frozen shrimp, pasta and pesto.

9 p.m. — Call my dad. He’s doing okay but still not eating solid food. I attempt a dog walk but it is pouring and the gal is not having it. She’s giving, “I hope we aren’t out here on my account.” I relax the rest of the night and head to bed around 11 p.m.

8:15 a.m. — I wake up to four texts and two frantic emails from my dad. We go on a family trip to Cancun tomorrow — my brother, his wife, my dad, me and E. It was supposed to be a celebration of dad’s cancer recovery, but it’s bittersweet that things aren’t where we would have hoped and he will be bringing a suitcase of Boost instead of enjoying the food. He is an anxious guy at baseline and hasn’t traveled much recently since he was caring for my mom for the last 12 years. Dude needs this trip, and maybe a sedative.

8:25 p.m. — WFH Friday means sleeping until the last possible moment! This is an amazing perk of my job. SLPs are never able to work from home unless they provide remote services (which isn’t fun, imo). However because my role is more administrative, I have one day that I don’t see any patients, and it can be remote, depending on the tasks at hand. Walk the dog, drink some coffee and jump into the work day.

11:30 a.m. — I finally pause to eat some leftovers from last night.

12:00 p.m. — My brother just found out he matched with his top choice for residency!!! I’m so proud of him! He went back to school many years after graduating and made some huge sacrifices, and worked his tail off! Proud older sister! I chat with my boss over the phone about a few things. Then I take a quick break to pack a bit.

1 p.m. — Back to work for a few more hours.

5:15 p.m. — Wrap up and take the dog for a long stroll. We stop to get a six pack of IPAs. $18.66

6:30 p.m. — I continue packing and prepping with a beer. E. gets home and we begin to get pumped for the trip. Leftovers for dinner to try and clear out the fridge.

10 p.m. — Watch TV and unwind while E. finishes packing. I watch Interior Design Masters on Netflix, a charming British competition. With both of my parents having health issues, my media intake is usually mindless and conflict free these days. I read some of my book (Harlem Rhapsody by Victoria Christopher Murray) and head to bed around 11:15 p.m.

8:15 a.m. — I wake up and get ready to go! Take out the dog and make sure all her stuff is set for the dog walker who will be picking her up to stay over for the week (the dog walker will be $85 per night paid at the end of the trip).

9:05 a.m. — We head out to make the journey to JFK: PATH to LIRR to bus (air train isn’t running from Jamaica) to air train to terminal. Woof. I buy the tickets on LIRR for us both, everything else was prepaid Metrocards. $16.50

10:45 a.m. — We make it, just to find out that our giant shared bag we intended to check is 16 pounds overweight. Not even close! $150 fee — I cover it, just because I whipped out my card faster than E. $150

11:30 a.m. — Through TSA pre-check and unite with my family at the gate (my anxious dad has been there for a while). Our flight is delayed about an hour so we hang out. I get an açaí bowl and coffee. $18.71

1:00 p.m. — Boarding begins! I get a glass of wine and E. gets whiskey on the flight (E. pays). I read for most of the flight. My dad is in a lot of discomfort with all the travel. Hoping he can relax when we arrive.

6 p.m. — It took us a while to get off the runway; we make it in about two and a half hours late, go through customs, wait for our bags and head to the transport shuttle to the resort. (The flight was $405 per person and our room was about $3000. This was all pre-paid and split between me and E.) It’s all inclusive and a splurge in honor of dad. I’ve done all inclusive once before in my 20s, but it wasn’t nearly this nice. Shuttle to the hotel is $75 but covered by my dad.

7 p.m. — We get to the resort to learn that my dad booked the wrong hotel building within the resort, so we get a shuttle to all unite and get his room moved to the right building. Check in takes forever and I am hangry. I feel myself becoming the villain.

9:00 p.m. — Finally settled into the room, and head out to get food from the hotel bar. It’s a gorgeous building; we walk around the pool and smell the salty air. Music is playing and I morph back from a hangry villain into a grateful muggle. We have a drink with my brother and his wife but we are all wiped out. Up to the room. E. and I hang on the porch for a little, and I collapse into bed.

“In my last diary, I remember seeing so many comments about how much I overfilled my schedule. (One person commented that ‘something’s going to give’ if I kept myself so busy, and it ended up being my relationship — I don’t regret ending that relationship, but that commenter was ultimately correct.) After tracking everything for a week, my biggest takeaway is that I very much continue to overfill my schedule, five years later! It was a hectic week, but I can’t say this isn’t a typical week in most ways. I think it was much more family focused than most weeks, between my brother’s residency and the family trip. My parents’ health tends to consume all of my free headspace most weeks, but this was a particularly family-heavy week, for better or worse. I worry it is misleading that the trip to Mexico was prepaid, but it is what it is. Otherwise, it was a pretty normal spending week. Transportation is always such a huge part of my spending — mainly because of tolls, but since I spend so much time in my car around the NYC Metro Area, I guess that’s to be expected.”