A Week In San Francisco On A $449,000 Household Income

Occupation: Manager
Industry: Advertising
Age: 34
Location: San Francisco
Salary: $221,000 ($184,000 base, ~$37,000 bonus paid out quarterly based on achievement to a team revenue goal).
Joint income: My husband, P., currently makes $228,000, so our joint income is $449,000. He just started a new job after two and a half years of unstable employment (due to two layoffs, a brief midlife crisis, and a terrible job market) and this is the highest he’s ever earned. We have separate finances and mostly split expenses down the middle (as long as we’re in the same ballpark salary-wise; I have been covering more in the past few years, and he did the same when he out-earned me in the past). Controversial, but it works for us.
Assets: Checking: $500; savings: $6,500; HYSA: $23,000; investment account: $80,000; Roth 401(k): $275,000; backdoor Roth IRA: $38,000; vested company stock: ~$2,000; unvested company stock: ~$18,000; car worth: ~$26,000.
Debt: Car loan: $18,000; credit card balance: $4,000.
Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $3,000
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses
Housing Costs: $1,572 — my half of a rented two-bedroom that I share with J.
Loan Payments: $400 (car payment).
Car Insurance: $172
Peloton: $44
Phone: $40, paid to my parents (still on the family plan). Pandora/Splitwise/iCloud: $15
Health Insurance: $180 (this is including J.’s; I’ve been covering this while he’s been unemployed and he hasn’t switched to his company’s plan yet).
401(k) Contribution: $2,000 (this is high because I like to max it out early).
Charitables: $100 to my (nonprofit) choir; $50 to National Network of Abortion Funds; ~$50-$100 to one-off causes.
Cleaners: $250 (twice a month; my half).
Streaming Services: $30 (my half).
Spotify: $8 (my half).
Utilities: ~$80 (my half).
CSA: $60 (my half).

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Not going to college was not an option in my family, and my parents fully paid for my tuition at a liberal arts school. It was a huge privilege that I didn’t fully understand until I was an adult.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Money was a pretty taboo topic growing up. I didn’t get much of a financial education beyond not putting things on credit cards.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I babysat and nannied for neighborhood kids starting when I was 13. My first paycheck jobs were working at Limited Too (RIP) and as a receptionist for my dad’s small business. I got them for spending and gas money.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Not at all. I grew up solidly upper middle class and always had everything I needed, went to private school, participated in sports and extracurriculars, and went on one or two trips a year. My parents both got more successful in their careers over time (moreso for my mom) and by the time I was in late high school and in college they were decently wealthy.

Do you worry about money now?
Less than I used to. I was financially unstable until I started at my current company and nearly tripled my salary six years ago, and now I feel good about where I’m at. Getting through a tough couple years with J.’s job situation has weirdly made me more confident financially, though it was very stressful at the time. My worries these days are more about retirement savings and whether I’ll ever be able to buy a house in my very HCOL area than being destitute.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I started paying my own bills after graduating from college at 21, paying for health insurance at 26, and finally, my own phone bill at 30. I am very lucky to have both my parents and my in-laws as a financial safety net.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My parents gave me $30,000 following the sale of my dad’s business, paid for my wedding, gave me $3,000 to help set me up after I graduated college, and covered half my rent for three months ($4,000) so I could afford to break up with a live-in ex. I have inherited $12,000 total from extended family members who’ve passed away. 

9:30 a.m. — I wake up naturally and see that I have slept for 12 hours. Sheesh! I did a long trail run yesterday that had me questioning all my life choices, and my body clearly needed some extra rest. Surprised that my dog, T., didn’t wake me up, too — she usually starts bugging for her morning walk by 8 a.m. at the latest. I get up and check my phone and see that Daylight Savings happened overnight and all becomes clear (though 11 hours is still a lot of sleep). Take T. outside and feed her.

11 a.m. — I make coffee and order a Mediterranean chicken and rice bowl for brunch ($33), then walk to Trader Joe’s for the weekly shop. I buy fresh flowers, thyme, rosemary, cilantro, scallions, milk, Kerrygold butter (this is lifestyle creep), kimchi, a chicken, shallots, lemons, limes, bone broth, eggs, coconut milk, chickpeas, canned tomatoes, cheddar, coffee beans, non-alcoholic beer, and several random chocolate bars ($152). $185

1 p.m. — I get a kimchi and pork shoulder stew going on the stove, then take T. for her lunchtime walk. When I get back I have to move my car, so I go to the car wash while I’m out. This was long overdue and she’s so shiny now! $16.00

4 p.m. — I walk T. again and then practice some choir songs for an hour or so. Sorry neighbors. Then I reluctantly do a 45-minute Peloton spin class and 10 minutes of abs. I’m in the early stages of training for a 50-mile ultramarathon (my first, I am terrified) and part of the training is doing a workout (eventually a run, but at this point biking or hiking) the day after the weekly long run to get used to effort on tired legs. My legs are indeed tired.

7 p.m. — P. gets home from a weekend out of town and we eat the stew. It was a new recipe for me and it turns out pretty tasty but not worth the effort — there was a good bit of prep at the beginning but it turned out kind of bland with an unappetizing texture, so I don’t think I’ll make it again. I have some of the TJ’s chocolate for dessert while we watch the most recent episode of Severance, and I go to bed around 10 p.m.

8 a.m. — I wake up to my alarm (I bought a Loftie alarm a year ago to get my phone out of the bedroom and I love it) and get up to walk and feed T. I do my morning skincare (Caudalie salicylic acid toner, SkinCeuticals Phloretin CF Vitamin C serum, Kiehl’s lotion) and put on a Beyond Yoga spacedye set (I wear these pretty much every day) and a sweatshirt. Make coffee, a piece of buttered toast, and a couple of mandarin oranges for breakfast and log on to work at 9 a.m.

12 p.m. — It’s a pretty quiet work day with only one meeting, which is a nice way to ease into the week. I heat up leftover stew for lunch, then take T. for a walk.

5 p.m. — I log off and start prepping dinner (roast chicken, gravy, mashed potatoes, and a beet salad) while listening to one of my fave podcasts, Las Culturistas. They do a segment called “I Don’t Think So Honey”, where they each do a one-minute improv rant about something that’s bugging them, and I think about what mine would be today. I Don’t Think So Honey: beets. There are too many of you in my CSA boxes and I’m sick of you and there are only so many beet/orange/goat cheese salads I can take. Please drop your best beet recipes in the comments.

8 p.m. — I do the NYT crossword and read Severance fan theories on Reddit while P. cleans up. We start the new season of Drive to Survive. I’m not a reality TV person or a car person, but this show fascinates me — I love the very niche rich car boy drama.

7:30 a.m. — Tuesday is always a busy day. I’m booked solid with meetings from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., so I log on at 8 a.m. to get some work done beforehand. I eat leftover chicken and gravy over brown rice for breakfast while I work. Chicken for breakfast twice already this week… The heart wants what it wants.

1 p.m. — Done with meetings and starving. I have chicken, gravy, and brown rice again for lunch. I have a run later so keeping my eating today simple (and veggie-less) to prevent any tummy issues. I grumpily pay two parking tickets ($225), one for not having a front license plate (now fixed) and one for “blocking a driveway” (that I was not actually blocking, though I was technically about one inch past the red line on the curb). I’ve only had this car for a few months — good lesson to be more careful when street parking. $225

4:30 p.m. — I log off, have some chocolate-covered pistachios and a couple of mandarin oranges for a snack, and head out for my run. My legs feel like lead for the first couple miles and I start to spiral a bit thinking about the race, but I feel better once I’m warmed up. When I get back I quickly shower, suck down a pre-made recovery smoothie that tastes like baby food, and race off to choir practice.

9:30 p.m. — Home from choir and I eat a bunch of cheese and crackers and leftover beet salad (curse you) before heading to bed.

9 a.m. — Walk/feed T., make coffee, and log on to work. I have my year-end performance review this afternoon and am already so nervous I’m not hungry for breakfast. I got a new manager a few months ago (which is overall a good thing — my last manager was terrible, like: “didn’t believe in promotions” terrible) and have been feeling some serious imposter syndrome.

11 a.m. — After a few meetings, I finally get hungry and order a salad and a coconut milk matcha latte from a bougie lunch place nearby ($40), because more caffeine is what my anxiety needs. P. checks the mail and I have received a check for $450 from the dealership I bought my car from — apparently they overcharged me for some part of the car-buying process. Sweet! $40

2:30 p.m. — Suck it, imposter syndrome — my review went great! My manager said he intends to promote me later this year, and is also planning to make some org changes that would expand my scope and increase the size of my team. I did not expect this at all and am thrilled. Almost more important than that good news, he gave me the most comprehensive and fair review I’ve had in years; I feel so seen in a way I wasn’t sure was possible at work. He’s the fifth manager I’ve had since I got this role not even three years ago (the one I was interviewing for in my last Money Diary!) and far and away the best. I eat some potato chips and a few pieces of chocolate as a celebratory snack.

5 p.m. — I log off, walk T. to pick up our CSA (more beets… Kill me), and start making tomato soup for dinner. While it’s simmering I do a 60-minute Peloton strength class. I make grilled cheese sandwiches and sauteed CSA kale with chili flakes and lemon juice to have alongside the soup — it’s been pouring rain all day and this is the perfect cozy dinner. P. and I eat while watching The White Lotus. So much good TV out right now!

9 p.m. — I order a couple of books from a local bookstore ($60 with shipping) while P. cleans up (he does cook every once in a while, but I find it fun and enjoyable while he does not, so mostly he stays on dish duty). One is a physical copy of a book I recently read on my Kindle called A Walk in the Park, a memoir about through-hiking the entire Grand Canyon. It’s one of the best books I’ve read in years, so I’m buying it as a “present” for P. (aka forcing him to read it so we can talk about it together). $60

7 a.m. — I’m up on the early side today for a 7:30 a.m. meeting with some people in Europe. Once it’s over I take a quick break to walk and feed T. (it’s raining again so I dress her in her raincoat, which is adorable), make coffee and a smoothie, and throw Monday’s chicken carcass in the Instant Pot for stock, then I’m in meetings for the rest of the morning.

12:30 p.m. — I heat up leftover tomato soup and make another grilled cheese for lunch, then it’s time for therapy ($200, which will eventually be reimbursed by my FSA). We spend the whole session talking about my anxiety about work and my inability to feel satisfied even when I do well — I was happy and relieved about my good review and then immediately started worrying about work again afterwards. My New Year’s resolution this year was to be less emotionally invested in my job... it’s very much a work in progress. 

4:30 p.m. — My therapist encouraged me to celebrate the win of the good review, so I tell P. we’re scrapping the plan to cook a healthy stew tonight and going out instead. He makes a res at an Italian place we love, and now I have to hustle to walk T. and get my run in before dinner. Hill sprints today, which is a disgusting but mercifully short workout. I quickly shower and throw on an all-black outfit of an AllSaints slip dress, a cashmere sweater, and ancient Frye combat boots.

6:30 p.m. — We make it to dinner right on time. We split a cheese and prosciutto plate and a fennel and orange salad to start, and I get a lamb sugo pasta dish that is absolutely perfect. We each get a cocktail (Negroni for me) and a glass of red wine ($217 total, split). $108

8 p.m. — We’re in a silly, goofy mood so we go to a fancy grocery store on our way home and get a few different kinds of IPAs and a bunch of chocolate bars with different flavors and fillings ($70, split). When we get home, we smoke some weed, have some beers and chocolate and watch The World’s End, the only Cornetto Trilogy movie I haven’t seen yet. It’s not quite as good as the other two (Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead), but still hilarious and right up my alley. $35

8 a.m. — I wake up feeling less than stellar — shouldn’t have celebrated quite so hard last night. Oh well, it’s Friday and I have no meetings today. It’s raining again, so I suit myself and T. up in our rain gear. P. has coffee ready for me when I get back, and I have TJ’s peanut butter protein granola with milk for breakfast.

12 p.m. — P. and I decide to order Souvla for lunch. We both get chicken salads and make them Greek style, which is where they put fries on top for an extra dollar ($46, split). It’s payday today! I put $2,500 towards my credit card bill and $500 to my car loan. I randomly check Paypal for the first time in a while and see that I have $186 waiting for me from Rakuten; I transfer that to my bank account. $23

3 p.m. — My morning walk in the rain reminded me that my rain boots are falling apart. I do some research and order a pair of black Merry People boots as a replacement ($152). I eat some more chocolate as a healthy afternoon snack. I have been dealing with a serious chocolate craving recently… And by “dealing with”, I mean buying and eating copious amounts of chocolate. The Tony’s Chocolonely Everything Bar is my current favorite — it has a bunch of salty fillings and is so moreish. $152

5:30 p.m. — I take T. for a long evening walk to mark the end of the work week. When I get back, I prep dinner — the once-viral Alison Roman chickpea stew, with collard greens from our CSA. While it simmers I take a 45-minute yoga class.

7 p.m. — P. and I eat the stew with Greek yogurt and crushed pita chips on top. We watch the newest episode of Severance and I have some of the aforementioned Everything Bar for dessert, then head to bed around 10 p.m.

8:30 a.m. — Wake up, get dressed in running clothes, walk and feed T. I make coffee and a standard pre-long run breakfast: three pieces of toast, two with butter, one with peanut butter, all with plum jam.

11 a.m. — We drive to a trailhead in Marin. P. is taking T. on an adventure while I do my run; the cleaners are here today so we need to be out of the house.

3 p.m. — Done with my long run! It was a gorgeous day and a big confidence booster compared to last weekend — I mostly felt great. P. and T. had a great day too, hiking and going to the beach. Unfortunately on the drive home I feel seriously nauseous, and have to pull over several times to get some fresh air (the windy roads don’t help). We get home and I quickly shower and crawl into bed for a nap.

7 p.m. — I was supposed to see a movie with friends tonight but I still don’t feel great, so I cancel and invite them over for dinner tomorrow instead. I order chicken rice from my favorite Thai place, my go-to dish if I’m feeling under the weather. I mess around on my phone for a couple hours and go to bed. $27

“Other than the parking tickets and rain boots, this was a pretty typical week of spending for me. I spend a lot on food — I am a ‘live to eat’ person, and it shows. I love to cook (with good ingredients), definitely have a bit of a DoorDash habit (though I don’t pay service/delivery fees through a credit card perk), and frequently enjoy a nice meal out with some drinks. I typically do two or three therapy sessions per month (both couples and individual), and as long as I can afford it, it’s worth it to me to pay out of pocket for the amazing therapists I’m currently working with. I’ve seen enough bad ones to want to hold onto the good ones. Thankfully I get a break on a good chunk of this cost through my FSA. I am still adjusting to being a car owner and all the expenses that come along with it after buying my first ever car at the end of last year. I’m working on reining in my spending this year to account for those and build my savings back up after spending $20,000 on a down payment. I’m also feeling nervous (understatement of the century) about the economy and the state of the country and world, so it’s looking like Austerity Summer 2025 is coming right up.”