A Week In Brooklyn On A $166,000 Salary

 Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: a psychiatric nurse practitioner who makes $166,000 per year and who spends some of her money this week on a post-surgery Uber.

A Note From Our Diarist: “As you’ll see in my diary, I was having a pretty rough time of it this week, but since then, I have been doing much better! Never underestimate the power of hormones. After 10 days of full recovery post operation, I have been feeling so much brighter and so thankful that I was able to freeze my eggs despite the uncertainties.”

Occupation: Psychiatric nurse practitioner
Industry: Healthcare
Age: 31
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Salary: $166,000
Assets: HYSA: $33,000; 403(b): $280,000; IRA: $42,000; TIAA brokerage: $13,477; house value: $689,000.
Debt: $170,000 (mortgage).
Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $3,300 after 529 savings ($100), 403(b) (which I max out every year), and HYSA ($1,250).

Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing Costs: $1,057 for my mortgage.
Loan Payments: $0
Utilities: ~$100
HOA & Maintenance: $705 (includes gym).
Verizon: $55
Phone: $100
Streaming: ~$30 (Netflix, Hulu, Spotify).

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, my father was a first-gen uni student in his home country, and my mother never got to go to college in hers. They did everything they could so that I could have the education that I wanted, which was in the US. I came here for college and went to grad school. Both were mostly financial aid and work study but my father contributed at least 30% each which was a HUGE help and he was so proud that he was able to do this for me. Now I’m obtaining a doctorate, and it is completely covered by my work.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
We didn’t have any conversations about money. I knew my dad grew up very poor, and worked his way up by studying and working very hard. He invested in the right real estate in the country that we immigrated to (we moved to a different country in East Asia when I was in primary school). I feel like I overheard my parents discuss finances but I was never directly taught.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was in college, freshman year, as a work-study student. I worked a lot of jobs in college and grad school, including gym, building maintenance, cafeteria, bookstores. For my first off-campus job, which I did throughout college, I worked at a domestic violence shelter which actually helped me with my résumé and life experiences greatly as well. Immigration status has been a huge barrier in obtaining employment for me for the past 15 years, but somehow I was always able to find jobs through school, OPT, CPT, and H1B. Trust me, it took a LOT of planning and anxiety!

Did you worry about money growing up?
I did not. I knew we weren’t terribly well off but when I was in middle school, my father’s job got a huge boost that helped us go from “lower middle class” to now “upper class”!

Do you worry about money now?
No. This is my second diary submission and I remember saying yes to this previously. But now, I feel like I truly know my worth in my industry, and now that I have a green card, I feel SO free and invincible! I’m so grateful!

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I definitely have a financial safety net. My parents say they will not hand us any more money but truthfully, my father believes providing for us financially is his greatest joy and responsibility. He helped me with my down payment for my first home in NYC and informed me that I will not see another dime from him, which I am SO a fan of. I am now earning more than he ever did, thanks to everything he did to provide for my education. So, being completely financially responsible for myself truly started in 2021 after his help of the down payment.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Yes, see above! And I will not be ashamed. I used to be ashamed by how much my father has helped me. But I remember my colleague who couldn’t provide for his child’s education telling me “Why are you being a brat, just say thank you and accept the money, that’s what he wants you to do,” and ever since then, I have checked my privileges, accepted them, and decided to be grateful and give back instead.

6:30 a.m. — I wake up; breakfast every day this year so far has been two hard-boiled eggs and cottage cheese with some EBB seasoning and chili flakes. I have coffee with almond creamer and stevia hazelnut drops. I used to treat myself to coffee every once in a while but am now committed to finding the BEST at-home creamer (so far, Elmhurst almond milk barista has been the best!). I eat quickly and head to my bloodwork and ultrasound appointment for the egg-freezing journey I’m on as a single woman in NYC. I take the subway round trip but decide to get off a few stops early to get my steps in. My work covers at least three rounds of egg freezing, and they provide amazing coverage for other IVF options, too. I decided to take full advantage as I don’t see myself finding an eligible man to make a baby with in NYC anytime soon! $5.80

10 a.m. — I buy some groceries between patients: cottage cheese, sweet potatoes (still a fan, see my previous entry), cucumber, cherries, apples, watermelon, crackers, cheese, and frozen scallion pancakes. I also manage to get some steps in. I’m trying to make 15,000 steps a day because I’m no longer allowed to work out or run since egg freezing started. This, among hormonal side effects, has made me very depressed, not to mention the patients I see come in with their partners or family members, neither of which I have in this country. I constantly wonder why I’m freezing my eggs in the first place because I don’t know what it would be like to be a single mother. This journey has been extremely difficult for me both emotionally and physically: The inability to work out and the amount of bloating has made my body dysmorphia the worst it’s ever been. $32

12 p.m. — I make the viral PB and soy sauce cucumber recipe and have some scallion pancakes with it. I WFH most days which is delightful, because I hate meal prepping. I also really don’t like eating out unless it’s something social with friends. I definitely eat to live, not the other way around. 

6 p.m. — I have a date. First date. Not a great one, although he does pay for dinner. I don’t usually do dinner dates and I should’ve stuck with that. I offer to venmo him but I don’t hear from him again! I walk to and from the restaurant which saves $6 and I get my steps in. I’m proud of myself for at least going out and trying to be more social!

10 p.m — I get home and take my makeup off. As a Korean, all my skincare is definitely from my home country (although Laneige works well for me, too). But skincare carrot pads? Definitely worth the hype! I try to read before bed and lights out but when my mood is low I need some noise, so I play Friends in the background and fall asleep to it. Counterproductive I know, but sometimes you do what you gotta do.

8 a.m. — Go for an hour walk after my egg and cottage cheese breakfast. No bloodwork or ultrasound appointments today. It is quite nice to have a park right in front of my house but I do miss running, so, so much. I can’t wait to be done with egg freezing. One round is about 10-12 days, and after the surgery, I’m still not allowed to run or do any exercise for 10 more days. CANNOT wait to be done. 

12 p.m. — Same lunch as yesterday. I have some fruit to go with it. I see up to 20 patients a day, but sometimes patients don’t show up. I secretly love it when this happens unless I’m genuinely worried something has happened to them. I browse walking pads for my standing desk but I think it’d be too much of an eye sore.

7 p.m. — I go see the musical Maybe Happy Ending with a friend! Scored a good deal online and as an Asian, I’m very excited. I realise I need more social activities to break up my week because with WFH, having my social interactions come purely from seeing patients can be quite depressing. Did I mention I’m a psychiatric nurse practitioner... I walk to the show but subway back ($2.90) because dark = dangerous. I venmo my friend $95 for the show. $97.90

10 p.m — I get home and do my usual nighttime routine. My body dysmorphia from egg-freezing bloat has gotten so bad that showering is hard in daylight. I dim the lights and shower really quickly. I have a mini meltdown. I think of ways to address body dysmorphia with my psychiatrist and therapist because I want to be happy when I’m pregnant and postpartum instead of struggling with body image during that time in my future. 

6 a.m. — I take the subway to go to bloodwork and ultrasound again. It averages to be about every other day that I’m there. It gets tiring but I’m an early riser and am thankful they open early so I don’t have to take any extra days off work. $5.80

12 p.m. — Today’s lunch is sweet potatoes and some broccoli and tofu! It’s not the ingredients, it’s the seasoning that makes a dish. I use some nutritional yeast, sriracha, salt, pepper, and gochujang to jazz it up. Barebell bar from my cupboard to satisfy my chocolate craving.

5 p.m. — I go for my 10,000 steps and call a friend who moved to Colorado recently. Come home and have dinner of frozen blueberries, yogurt, protein powder, and some edamame. Most of my days look like this: I work from home mostly and go to clinic twice a month or so. I’m hoping that I can get a promotion soon since I finally got my permanent residency card. It’s been a 15-year journey and I’m SO proud of myself for getting my employer to sponsor me. Historically, this hospital is known to never sponsor people and I’ve become the exception. I am so thankful with a side of huge guilt, as most of my friends and colleagues have now been deported (“asked to leave”) as they couldn’t find an employer who will sponsor them. Once I got this card, I cried SO hard I surprised myself. I didn’t think it would be this emotional but the sweet taste of freedom to work whatever job I want has given me so much financial independence and confidence. 

10 p.m — I watch a bunch of Love Island episodes and now it’s bedtime. I am watching US Season 5 to see if I can get into it. I don’t get into it until episode 30 or so when they have Casa Amor. It is good background noise but it would be so much better if I had my friends to watch with me! It makes me a bit sad that so many of my friends  have moved away from the city. The hormones probably aren’t helping with this!

6 a.m. — Back-to-back ultrasound and bloodwork today! My egg retrieval surgery is probably in two days. Trigger shots will be started today and tomorrow morning. I lucked out and will be doing it this weekend so I don’t have to call out sick. I can call out sick and I do get plenty of sick days, but this would mean my 30 patients all have to be rescheduled and I don’t want to do that to them, or to my assistant! I do try to be better at calling out if I absolutely need to without feeling too guilty. $5.80

12 p.m. — Same lunch. I had a meeting with my supervisor earlier that went well. Now that I have my Permanent Residency Card, it's finally possible for my employers to promote me and for them to give me a raise. Fingers crossed this happens sooner rather than later! The first thing I did when I got my PR card freedom was to list myself as a catsitter, and I receive an email today asking for THREE gigs already. Oh, the things I’ve wanted to do. I could have my own practice now and quit my job but I’m getting my doctorate which is all paid for by my work (for as long as I’m an employee) and while I could see super-rich people for super-rich money, I would rather save my mental health and cuddle with cats instead!

5 p.m. — Same yogurt dinner as yesterday. I do snack throughout the day but they’re all pantry snacks so I’m not writing about them. I get my steps in and when the alarm rings, I do my trigger shot! Round 3, I cannot wait to be done! I also video chat with my mum in my home country. She’s trying to learn English. I try to imagine when/if we will ever live in the same country again or if I could ever raise my “egg/child” without her help.

9 p.m — I do my skincare routine (it’s really just moisturiser and carrot pad toner). I debate reading but pass. Friends for background noise it is. You’ve all caught me during a weepy hormonal week. To think that I see patients everyday and put on a bright face so I can treat them. I tell myself I should probably take a sick day after the surgery to re-coup my mental health. I also know once hormones wear off, I’ll start feeling a lot better.

8 a.m. — Same breakfast plus a side of trigger shot. I run to the subway to get to class. $2.90

12 p.m. — I have my doctorate class once a month. We also do weekly online assignments between monthly classes as all 20 of us are working nurse managers or nurse practitioners. I know this degree isn’t teaching me much to be completely honest, but if I want to be a professor (which I think I do!) or want a bigger leadership role, this will help me advance my career. Besides, my work pays for it all because I will never spend another dollar doing higher ed ever again. We all need a piece of paper to get more papers (aka $) and I’m not about this system. Anyway, I vent with classmates about assignments and we all grab the lunch special at a nearby Thai spot. $20.50

5 p.m. — I decided to be outrageous and walk home. 30,000 steps for today! Got to get some rest now for surgery tomorrow. On my way home, I stop by Trader Joe’s and get some chocolate and nuts for post-surgery treats. $13

7 p.m — I get home. My legs are tired, but walking from Manhattan to Brooklyn is always a treat. I debate leaving the city quite often since a lot of my friends are now abroad or in other cities. However, while loneliness can get to me, I know it’ll be worse in other cities. At least here, there are so many opportunities where I can find new friends if I want to put myself out there. I’ve joined a TCK group and FB group for international girls living in NYC and have managed to find a few close friends recently. I still don’t have the energy to meet up with them again yet so I stay flakey this week for the most part. My social energy definitely comes and goes. I also know these friends are more “superficial” activity friends, which is totally welcome, but I need ugly-cry-on-my-couch-level friends whom I consider family to be around me right now. So instead, I leave a friend a teary voice note. They offer to catch a flight to be with me for the surgery tomorrow but I say I’ll be okay and we decide to FaceTime instead.

10 p.m — I finish Love Island season 5 and now it’s time for the REAL fun: digging up all the Reddit threads and TikToks around the drama. Before I know it, I’ve been scrolling for three hours. This is rare for me so I consider it a treat before surgery. 

7 a.m. — Subway to surgery! $2.90

10 a.m. — They need me to have a friend come and sign me out since the procedure does require general anesthesia. Thankfully the person I’ve asked is also doing egg retrieval, which has been a huge support. She comes and we Uber back together. I’m groggy and tearful from all the hormones! $52

3 p.m. — I’m craving sweet potatoes so I walk to the store. No more walking today. I’m still very, very tired from all the anesthesia. Surgery itself is only 10 minutes long but general anesthesia really does take a toll on you. I rest and rest. I dread the recovery where I get super weepy. The first two rounds I have definitely cried over some patients because they yelled at me for not giving them Adderall. Normally I would’ve laughed, but these hormones... I wonder how I’ll feel if I ever do end up pregnant. I am SO impressed and respect ALL the mothers out there. $12

4 p.m — I’m already antsy despite the fatigue. I know if I lay on my couch more, I’ll only get more tired. I go for a small lap around the park and watch all the puppies running around. I can’t wait for my catsitting gig to start.

7 p.m — I’m bloated from surgery and the two pounds of sweet potatoes are sitting heavily on my stomach (surprise, surprise). I decide to call it a night early after FaceTiming my friends abroad (Morocco and England). They try to cheer me up and say my body’s been through a lot producing all those extra eggs, and that I should not be so hard on myself. I can’t help but feel down because I don’t know what will happen with these eggs. Will I find a partner? Ideal but seems impossible in NYC. Will I be a single mother? Possible, but if I can’t handle this journey alone, how could I raise a child alone! Will I just sell these eggs? Maybe. Everything feels so uncertain!

7 a.m - I wake up, and scroll a bit since I cannot go for my morning run. I eat my usual boiled eggs and cottage cheese and take a short walk instead.

1 p.m. — I buy a dress on Depop to cheer myself up post surgery. I need a summer linen work dress, so here we go. I try not to buy new unless it’s an investment piece I’ll wear forever, but I’ve also realised I need to stop thrifting to buy an item I’ll only wear once. I’m trying to be as mindful about fashion waste or waste in general as possible! $21

3 p.m. — I’ve been home all day, and in an attempt to move a little to reduce this bloating and constipation, I go for my walk around the park. When I bought my place, the biggest perk was living right by a huge park. I love this park and this park is me. I feel like I know every inch of it at this point, after living here for five years!

6 p.m. — I call my mother and video chat for a bit again. No social activities this weekend because I’m cranky and bloated from surgery. I know this looks like I really don’t spend any money and... I really don’t! In fact, I’ve been eating out more than usual this week. I do travel often — two or three times a year internationally — to go see family or friends abroad, which is a big expense. Otherwise, I save up so I can send my parents their allowance or provide education for my potential future child!

10 p.m — I put on Friends again after doing my skincare. It’s been such a long week and I decide to call out sick tomorrow. I feel incredibly guilty but my brain is truly not functioning and it’d be a disservice to my patients for me to not be 100% present. I justify it in my head, tell my friends so I can ask for arbitrary permission and approval from them, and call out sick. I do know my job is definitely a calling for me and I’m so grateful I’m good at it, I have fun in it, and I can make a stable living out of it. However, when my mood is low, it affects my job — and the other way around, too: When my patients yell at me, fire me, or threaten to sue me or overdose (I specialise in addiction and patients often ask for very specific medications that I know are not good for anyone long term), it really gets me down. But I meditate at different Zen Centres in the city, which can be helpful. And in these difficult moments, I’m very grateful for my friends, therapist, and psychiatrist. It always ebbs and flows, and it always will. 

“As I mentioned in my note at the start, I’m feeling so much better than I was during the week of my diary! I feel very fortunate that I have such privileges to have insurance that covers IVF treatment and a good support system of people who were there for me throughout the process. The bloat eventually wore off and as soon as I returned to working out and taking care of my body appropriately, I was able to appreciate its functionality again. 

“In terms of spending, this was a very typical week for me. I’ll try to do one social activity per week, but otherwise I’m a homebody. I do know I need to treat myself more often, but I prefer saving so I can travel and see my friends who are abroad instead! I’d say ~$6,000 goes to travel every year for me.”