These Are The Best Ways To Sneak Out Of Work Early

Illustrated by Mallory Heyer.
Where is the worst place you can possibly be at 4 p.m. on a Friday afternoon in the middle of summer? Your office, of course. Let’s be honest: It’s July, which means no one is really trying to work these days (especially not on Fridays). There are, of course, the lucky few whose cushy jobs grant them “Summer Fridays.” These obnoxiously blessed individuals get to leave the office early, while the rest of us are forced to stay strapped to our rolly chairs until closing time, envisioning the moment we can break free and desperately guzzle down a bottle of post-work rosé. But if your stingy employers don’t give you a Summer Friday, there is another option: Give yourself one. Sometimes the pull of freedom is too great, and it seems impossible to stay imprisoned in your office for an entire afternoon. In cases like these, it’s time to pull a summertime sneak-out.
Of course, sneaking out of the office early can be a daunting task. It may require complicated plotting, devious subterfuge, and conspiracies among coworkers. It takes a brave soul to risk the 3 p.m. exit, an individual who doesn’t fear the wrath of upper management. If you think you have what it takes to make a run for it, we wish you well on your journey. But before you hit the road, you may want to consult our roundup of 10 ways to sneak out of work early (without getting caught).*
Best of luck on your mission, valiant weekend warrior. May your Coronas be cold, your beach towels warm, and may your absence in the workplace go unnoticed.
* Refinery29 doesn’t actually promote sneaking out of work early.

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