A Week In The Bay Area On A $715,000 Joint Income

Occupation: Medical director
Industry: Healthcare
Age: 32
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Salary: $170,000 base and bonus
Joint Income/Financial Setup: $715,000. My bonus last year was $70,000, but it can be highly variable. My husband, J., is a physician and makes $475,000 a year. We share all our finances, and our paychecks go directly into our joint accounts, which we use to cover all expenses. We still do have our individual personal accounts, which we both keep at a minimum level, but otherwise don’t regularly deposit money into.
Assets: Primary home equity: $1,000,000; total joint savings and checking: $53,900; my total retirement accounts (401(k), 503(b), etc); $110,000; total money market/investment/brokerage accounts: $96,000.
Debt: Mortgage: $1,400,000; car: $28,700; J.’s student loans: $20,000.
Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $3,900 (post taxes and 401(k) contribution deducted).
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing Costs: Mortgage: $11,800
Home Maintenance: $675 (cleaner, landscaping, pest control etc.).
Utilities: ~$150
Loan Payments: J.’s student loan: $1,024; car loan payment: $781.50.
Wifi: $65
J.’s Disability Insurance: $223
Car Insurance: $151.60
ClassPass: $20
Nuuly: $107 (clothing rental service).
Peloton: $130
Cell Phone: $0 (we’re both on our respective family’s plans, so our parents pay).
Home Alarm System: $33
Streaming Services: $0 for Hulu and Netflix — these are shared among friends and family; we provide HBO Max (free from prior employer).
401(k) Contribution: $1,830

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes. My parents are immigrants and value higher education as a way to build success in the United States. They both went to college, and my dad went to a very competitive graduate school program, despite his humble beginnings and had to support himself financially through it. I went to a private undergraduate program and medical school, and I was extremely fortunate that my parents paid for most of it.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
Both my parents are self-employed in the same industry, so they spoke of their work and compensation often. However, I don’t think they ever sat me down and taught me how to plan a budget and stick with it, or other practical advice.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was in college in a research lab. I mostly did it to get experience in research and was paid minimum wage ($12 an hour at that time).

Did you worry about money growing up?
No. I grew up in an upper middle class family and was extremely fortunate that, although my parents were self-employed, they did well in their field, and if they had a tough economic period, they shielded my siblings and me from knowing. I felt very secure knowing that my parents would help me with education.

Do you worry about money now?
Sometimes, although my husband J. and I are doing very well financially on paper, with our mortgage and living in a very high cost of living area, it feels like we aren’t able to save as much as our peers living in different places or who had different career paths. As physicians, J. and I both went through many years of training where we were making a little over minimum wage when taking into account how many hours we worked. Being in the San Francisco Bay Area, most of our friends work in tech, and it is hard not to compare their high salaries, great benefits, and better work-life balance, which they were able to enjoy with a lot less education and training than with a career in medicine. Additionally, I am currently pregnant and about to be on maternity leave, and the loss of income is something we are nervous about.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Once I graduated medical school, I became financially responsible for myself. However, I know that we can always lean on my parents or my in-laws as a financial safety net if we truly need help.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Yes. My parents gifted us part of the down payment for our home. I know that I will likely receive an inheritance from my parents.

6:55 a.m. — Alarm is off, time for (remote) work. For the past few weeks, I’ve been waking up early from my baby’s kicks. Currently, I’m almost 36 weeks pregnant with our first, and I’ve been told this is to be expected. Today is one of the few days that the alarm wakes me before the baby does. I do a quick morning bathroom routine. We are babysitting my parents’ dog, A., and I give him a snuggle and feed him his food. My husband, J. walks him after he gets ready for the day.

9:30 a.m. — I usually work independently, and it’s a light day, so I put on a hypnobirthing online class in the background. It is hosted by The Baby Academy, and they usually charge for their classes, but this one happens to be complimentary. It’s pretty interesting, and I make a note to look into the affirmations playlist they recommend and review some birthing positions after work. I love my current job, which I have been at for the past year and a half. I am really grateful to be able to start maternity leave in a couple of days, which would not have been the case for my prior job.

12:30 p.m. — No dedicated lunch break for me today, so J. heats up some leftovers for both of us. He works in a hybrid environment and, on average, goes in-person twice a week. On my dedicated lunch break days, I often cook a fresh lunch for both of us. I eat at my desk.

2 p.m. — Today is a short day, and I’m done with work. I let A. out and respond to texts. My family friend’s daughter sent a thank you for some medical school supplies I gave her from my old med school days. Another friend updates me that she has given birth and sends a photo of her adorable baby.

2:40 p.m. — My feet are getting really swollen after my walk with A. We are invited over to a friend’s house for dinner tonight, but I don’t have it in me to make the homemade dessert I was planning to bring. My mom was planning to pick up A. this afternoon, and I tracked her location and found that she is right next to one of my favorite local bakeries. I call her and ask if she can pick up some princess cake slices and Bavarian creams puffs and venmo her for them. I take a nap. $30

3:35 p.m. — I wake up feeling much better. Third trimester really has me napping all the time! My mom comes over and drops off the bakery goods and brings A. home. It’s my friend’s birthday party next week, and I realize I haven’t gotten her anything yet. I get her a lululemon water bottle bag in black, and find that there is also one on sale in an unusual color. I decided to get both and save the odd color one as an emergency gift for my gift stash. I am very emotionally attached to my Yeti water bottle and find this water bottle holder to be a perfect fit for it, while also being able to carry my phone and card case. I hope my friend loves it as much as I do. J. has to finish some work, so I try to fit in some studying for my online MBA course. $62.22

5:15 p.m. — Oops! I end up taking a second nap instead, and it’s time to go to our friend’s place for dinner. Since moving to the suburbs and getting pregnant, we’ve been trying to become closer with our local friends who have children. Our friends have two little ones, and we bring over a present for the little boy who just had his birthday, plus the pastries and ice cream. Their little boy loves toy trucks and spends time pointing out his favorite ones to J. and me.

7:10 p.m. — Their kids are getting tired and need to get ready for bed, so we thank our friends for dinner, excuse ourselves, and head home. It’s a cool night, and we decide to take a walk around the neighborhood. Evening walks are a ritual we really enjoy taking together; however, as my pregnancy has progressed, I find myself huffing and puffing excessively during them. It feels like a little victory now every time we make the full loop.

8:12 p.m. — Time for my nightly routine: I shower and do my regimen. I’ve been very into the Biodance collagen gel toner pads, and after, I apply my Tatcha The Dewy Skin cream. I also make sure to slather a ton of Bio-Oil on my belly to prevent stretch marks. I have heard that (sadly) stretch marks are largely genetic and there isn’t too much you can do to prevent them, but that moisturizing does help.

9:30 p.m. — J. and I tried watching the new season of Sandman, but we both found it pretty odd, and we had completely forgotten what happened in the prior season. We end up both falling asleep through it, and when we wake up, we decide to head to bed.

12 a.m. — Good night!

6:55 a.m. — Alarm goes off; I do my morning routine, turn on the computer, and get to work! I eat a breakfast of cottage cheese and kiwi at my desk.

12:22 p.m. — I have my dedicated lunch break. J. and I are both working from home today, and I boil up some frozen dumplings for us. I’m still hungry after and end up eating some cherries from the fridge. J. eats from his desk as he has a busy day.

2:15 p.m. — Done with work for the day! I’m feeling tired and decide to take a nap. If the baby wants a nap, the baby gets a nap!

3:32 p.m. — I’m feeling so refreshed after my nap, and respond to some texts. One of my friends’ dogs gave birth, and the puppies are just adorable! She explained how she was her dog’s midwife and that dogs typically have home deliveries without a vet. I am very impressed by both her and her dog! I study and pass my pre-test; I sign up for my proctored exam tonight.

5:45 p.m. — I start prepping dinner. Most nights, I cook for us. Tonight, it is cold peanut noodles with a side of veggies. J. finishes his work, and we have dinner together, and we talk about our day. We take a walk around the neighborhood after. We see a French bulldog in a stroller living his best life and wave hello to its owners.

8:15 p.m. — I shower and do my bedtime routine. I rub lots of Bio-Oil onto my belly. After studying some more, I take my test.

10:35 p.m. — Woohoo, I pass! I find J. in the living room, and we both decide to call it a night and go to bed. 

6:55 a.m. — The alarm wakes me up for my last day of work before maternity leave! I do my routine and start working. J. is in-person today and brings me some fruit for breakfast before he leaves. Fruit hits different during pregnancy, it really tastes so much better!

11:25 p.m. — I’m starving and ready for my dedicated lunch break. I spoil myself and make a carton of mac and cheese. It’s *chef’s kiss* and the baby kicks around happily after. He enjoyed it as much as I did.

3:20 p.m. — I log off for the day and set my away message for the next few months. The last day of work before maternity leave feels especially anticlimactic. I checked in with my boss last week and we had a meeting, but I thought she might contact me today. We have no outstanding projects, so I guess I just have to assume everything is fine.

4 p.m. — I have a set weekly FaceTime session with my long-distance bestie, S. We always have the best time when we are together (even virtually), and we giggle and yap about our week. My heart always feels fuller after our chats.

5:30 p.m. — J. comes home from work. He does some yard work and calls his parents, while I prep dinner. I make wontons and scallion pancakes today. We eat, chat about our day, and do our evening walk.

7:45 p.m. — I shower and do my nighttime routine. J. has to do some extra work tonight, so I turn on some Bob’s Burgers and I fall asleep while watching it.

11:30 p.m. — J. wakes me up and gets me to bed, where I fall asleep immediately.

7:45 a.m. — I wake up naturally before my alarm, and play on my phone a bit. J. wakes up shortly after. It’s my SIL and BIL’s anniversary, so we group text them congratulations. I get up and do my morning routine: wash with plain water, brush teeth, apply sunblock (currently using Beauty of Joseon’s skin tint), take a vitamin, and drink a lot of water in preparation for giving a urine sample at my doctor’s appointment.

8:30 a.m. — J. and I head off to the OB-GYN. J.’s job has been surprisingly flexible when it comes to our OB-GYN appointments, and he has been able to make most of them. We pay the copay. In this office, we aren’t assigned a specific provider, but instead rotate through all the delivering physicians prior to our delivery day. We meet one of the doctors we haven’t met previously, and she becomes my favorite so far. She is very knowledgeable and able to cite research to answer my questions about elective inductions. $67.63

10 a.m. — We get back home and J. starts working. We didn’t have time for breakfast before we left for the appointment, and I am starving. I make brunch for us with scrambled eggs and hash browns. Since I have time, I review the medical bill from the perinatologist. We had to have some extra ultrasounds, and while insurance paid for part of it, it’s still a hefty price tag. It is so expensive to have a baby in the US! I pay via online portal. $539.46

10:41 a.m. — I head off to do some grocery shopping and make returns. I talk to my dad on my drive, and he wants to come visit me and have lunch together this week. I return a sun hat that looked cuter online. At Trader Joe’s, I restock on some basic essentials and some specific ingredients for recipes I want to try this week. I plan on making some shrimp tacos with mango salsa tonight. The cashier compliments me on my choice of deli chips and mini apple pies, and I feel very affirmed. $98.93

12:51 p.m. — I unpack the groceries and boil some dumplings for J. and me for lunch. I try to do some more studying but end up taking an unplanned nap.

3:11 p.m. — I drive to my friend H.’s place to bring her some homemade egg bites and a baby swaddle I had purchased the week before. We actually met each other through Peanut, an app like Tinder for pregnant people looking to make friends. H. happened to be the only other woman in my city who was on the app and was expecting her first, and we luckily hit it off. I haven’t seen her since she had her baby (she had a complicated birth,) and it was good to see she and her baby were doing well. It was a short and sweet visit.

5:45 p.m. — Time to make dinner! It’s shrimp tacos tonight with coleslaw, tomatoes, and green beans as sides. J. joins me after he finishes work. For dessert, we eat some delicious chocolates from Fran’s Chocolate in Seattle that J.’s best friend gifted us. Mine was oolong and his was coffee. They are so good!

7:15 p.m. — We do our evening walk, and I immediately need to lie down and rest when we get back because my legs got so swollen! The only shoes that fit now are a pair of buckle sandals that I expanded to their maximum length. It’s just one of the fun things that happens during third trimester! J. goes to check out the yard and do some garden work.

8:30 p.m. — We try watching Sandman again, but J. falls asleep immediately. I turn it off and I doomscroll on Instagram and respond to texts.

10 p.m. — I wake J. up and we both head to bed. Recently, I’ve gotten into the romantasy genre and I got off the waitlist from Libby for A Court of Wings and Ruin. After a couple of pages, I find myself nodding off and decide to go to bed.

6:50 a.m. — J.’s alarm wakes me up and he gets ready for an in-person day. I lay in bed and play on my phone, and fall asleep again.

8:15 a.m. — Ok, time to get up. I do my morning bathroom routine, air-fry a mini apple pie for breakfast, and take my vitamins with mango kefir. I turn on a recorded lecture, but it becomes accidental nap time instead (clearly, there is a pattern here!).

10:15 a.m. — My mom comes over for a planned day together. She is semi-retired now, and I love that we can spend so much time with each other. She brings a home-cooked meal for J. and me to eat later tonight. We end up running some errands together, including going to a thrift store for me to drop off some clothes I wanted to sell, lunch at an Indian restaurant, and walking around a mall in a neighboring city together to see if their Pop Mart had any Labubus (sadly, they did not). I treat my mom for lunch and she treats me for ice cream after. $55.07

3:30 p.m. — Mom drops me off at home and I try to rewatch the lecture, but of course, I fall asleep instead. I’m supposed to go to a prenatal yoga class via ClassPass, but completely sleep through it.

5:25 p.m. — J. comes home and sees that our Cradlewise crib and Davinci glider have arrived at our door. We had purchased our crib months ago and were really excited to see how well it would work. The Cradlewise crib has a camera and uses an AI algorithm to predict when your baby needs to be soothed and will automatically start moving up and down to bounce the baby. It also connects to Spotify so you can play your personal playlists. J. builds it in our bedroom while I provide moral support and play the KPop Demon Hunters soundtrack through it. We decided that unboxing the glider can wait till another day.

7:20 p.m. — I bake the moussaka my mom made for us, and after we eat, we take our evening walk. After I shower and do my evening routine, we try to watch Sandman again, but end up both playing on our phones because we aren’t really feeling it. At least we finally finished an episode.

11 p.m. — Time for bed — good night!

5 a.m. — I wake up with a stomach ache and the baby kicking like crazy. I feel a bit better after I wait it out and end up playing on my phone before falling asleep again.

9 a.m. — I crawl out of bed and do my morning routine, heat up a bun for breakfast, and take my vitamins with mango kefir. Pro tip: If you have a hard time swallowing large pills, taking them with a thicker drink, like a smoothie. It makes it so much easier to go down. I read a Money Diary by a woman in Seattle. I love the slice of life the diaries capture, and often learn about relevant tips or trends, and discover something new to try. After, I start a load of laundry and do some studying.

12:30 p.m. — My dad arrives and picks me up. We go for some Chinese food at a nearby restaurant and get some jook, cheung fun, and chow fun, which is fantastic. My dad treats. We head back to my place, and he shows me his new DJI Flip Drone camera in the yard. We both are really into gadgets and tech, and have fun experimenting with some of the automatic features. I’m nervous about it falling and crashing into pieces, but it somehow makes it in one piece, and we review some of the videos we make, which are of great quality.

3 p.m. — My dad leaves, and it’s back to studying for me. My bestie, M., who is planning to visit and stay the night, texts me that she won’t come until later this evening, instead of the afternoon, and I tell her it’s all good.

6 p.m. — My stomach still hasn’t been feeling great, and I don’t feel too hungry. I heat up some leftovers for J. and myself and have a light dinner. I ask J. if we can skip our evening walk today, and he heads to the yard to do some yard work while I try to watch more lectures.

8:30 p.m. — Oh, no! I get a group text update from my friend that they just received some devastating news about their pregnancy. I spend some time messaging and offering support. I can’t imagine how heartbroken they must be. My other friend in the group texts me in a separate message about getting a care package for them. I thank her for organizing, and venmo her. $50

9:15 p.m. — M. arrives. I haven’t seen her in person in a couple of weeks since she lives over an hour away. it used to be so much easier when I lived in San Francisco! We spend some time catching up and talking about our week.

10:30 p.m. — We decided to all head to bed, but between the baby kicking me and thinking about the sad pregnancy update from my friend, I had a lot of trouble falling asleep. I keep on waking up, but I finally end up actually sleeping around 1 a.m.

7:10 a.m. — I wake up, but still feel pretty exhausted. I’m not able to go back to sleep though so end up scrolling on my phone.

8:10 a.m. — J. wakes up. I tell him how his son is misbehaving, and we both play on our phones in parallel. He doesn’t have to start work until later this morning.

9 a.m. — Eventually, we both get up and get ready for our day. J. slices all the Trader Joe’s everything bagels and air fries me one. I sign up for my state disability insurance claim for maternal leave: It’s surprisingly very easy. The most challenging part was getting through the authentication system five times. I emailed my OB-GYN to give them the receipt number so they can help me fill out the medical portion of the claim. In my inbox, I see a reminder that my Global Entry is expiring soon. I cross my fingers and hope that enough time has passed that my credit card will reimburse me. Filling out the Global Entry form takes longer than filling out my state disability insurance claim. $120 (Expensed)

12:15 p.m. — I take a break from my studying to make lunch for everyone. It’s an assortment of leftovers. M. and I eat together while she works, and I leave a plate for J. to eat at his desk.

1:30 p.m. — M. gets Summer Fridays and is off for the day. She drives us to the outdoor mall. She recently got engaged, so we went to Nordstrom to look at engagement party shoes. We also head to Anthropologie to look at engagement party dresses. I try to charm the sales assistant to see if they can squeeze us in for a wedding dress appointment, as the shop looks pretty empty, but she says they are booked. We also get some fancy smoothies- mine with pitaya and hers with açaí. I treat us. $23.90

5 p.m. — We leave the mall and head to TJ Maxx where I buy some hyaluronic acid serum for stretch mark prevention and a MagSafe charging bank for my phone. $24.01

5:45 p.m. — M. drives us back to my city, and we stop for an early dinner at my favorite local Mexican restaurant. The portions are huge, and they have the best agua fresca. I’m also obsessed with their freshly fried tortilla chips, which they generously refill, along with their salsa and bean dip. I order two tacos and a mango agua fresca for myself, and a birria tamale to share, and she orders herself some tacos and pays separately. $33.51

6:30 p.m. — Oh ho — I realize that I may have overdone it with the walking today because I am having a lot of trouble getting out of my seat and have to hobble to the car. Luckily, the car ride is short, and I am able to get myself into the house with assistance from J. and M. and lay down. This has happened another time during pregnancy after I overdid it at a concert, so I know to be patient and let my body rest. I’m not really in too much pain, fortunately, and end up chatting with M. until she decides it’s time to head back to her place. She’s moving in with her fiancé next week and will be pretty busy. I wonder if the next time I see her will be after the baby is born.

9 p.m. — After some gentle stretching, I feel well enough to go shower and do my nighttime routine. When I come back to check on J. in the living room, I find that he has fallen asleep, and I wake him up so that he can do his routine. I scroll on my phone on the sofa and end up falling asleep as well.

11 p.m. — J. wakes me up, and helps me get into bed and I fall asleep quickly.

“Other than the medical expenses, this was a fairly typical week for me. Because I was on maternity leave, I had more time to eat out and spend time with family and friends, but not too much more than my usual spend. Reviewing my Money Diary was an interesting exercise for me, and as someone who has dreaded the idea of looking at all our debt and assets together, it made me realize that although there was a lot of debt, J. and I spend less than I expected on a week-to-week basis, and it made me feel like we’re on the right track, financially. I also felt that my spending was used in what I feel are meaningful ways, primarily for meals where I connect with family and friends, and gifts where I showed them my appreciation. After taking into account our expenses, I cancelled my ClassPass membership and clothing subscription membership, both of which I felt I wasn’t using enough. I feel more comfortable being able to support our new baby financially, now that I understand how we spend.”

“We had our baby several weeks ago, and reading through this diary feels like going through memories from a lifetime ago! My schedule has been completely upended by my little one, in a challenging but in the best way as well! Parenthood is wild, but has been so worth it so far!”