A Week In South Central Oregon On A $220,000 Salary

Occupation: Senior director
Industry: Healthcare
Age: 37
Location: South Central Oregon
Salary: $220,000
Joint Income/Financial Setup: I'm recently divorced. I have the ability to bonus up to 20% annually as well. I'm not banking on that this year because it hinges on the profit margin for the hospital, and hospitals aren't doing great right now.
Assets: $65,815 in checking/savings (the majority is in a high yield savings account), $190,615 in investments/retirement accounts, house valued at $482,000, and SUV valued at $22,589. I spent my savings considerably over the last few months on a downpayment for my house and a kitchen/bath remodel. I still have one more check to fork over for the remodel and then I will be focused on building my savings back up. I keep a balance of $5,000 in my checking, $5,000 in a savings account at the same bank, and roll everything surplus into a high yield savings at an online bank. I keep $30,000 in an emergency fund and let the rest go towards whatever pops up. I like to have a good financial cushion, and it feels even more important now that I am on my own. I saved aggressively over the last few years to be able to comfortably exit a very bad marriage. My current job was a huge pay increase for me and required me to move away from my now-ex giving me a very fortunate exit pathway (thanks universe!).
Debt: $411,913.38 on my mortgage.
Paycheck Amount (Biweekly): $4,677.82
Pronouns: She/Her

Monthly Expenses

Monthly Housing Costs:
Mortgage: $2,988.27. I recently purchased an ADORABLE 1940s colonial in my favorite neighborhood. It's way too much house for me with four bedrooms and three bathrooms, but I fell in love with it. I had to upgrade the electrics and decided to sink the majority of my savings into a remodel of the kitchen (it was terrible), and the main floor bathroom, too. According to my expense tracking spreadsheet, the remodel will cost approx $85k. Monthly Loan Payments: $0. My car is paid off, and I didn't have any student loans.
All Other Monthly Plan Expenses:
Cell phone: $104
Streaming services: $68
Utilities: $250
Subscriptions: $72.45 (AppleCare, Apple Music, ChatGPT, NYT and iCloud).

Other:
Beauty treatments: I spend around $400 every 12 weeks on botox, and $45 at a similar interval to get my hair cut. I don't have the patience for getting my hair colored or maintaining my nails. (I did recently have someone compliment my highlights which are definitely grey hair.)
Savings: I receive a monthly stipend from the VA [Veterans Affairs] of $774.16 that goes directly into my savings. I pay off my credit cards every paycheck, and roll what's left above the $5k I keep in my checking and savings at my brick and mortar bank into a high yield savings account.

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
It was never expressly stated, but both of my parents went to college and it was assumed my brother and I would as well. I went to a state school for my undergrad, and an online state school for my Master's degree. There were some detours in the bachelors process because I was a wild ass and partied way to much, nearly got kicked out, and then used the military to straighten myself out after my freshman year. I went back to school post deployment to finish my bachelors. I did have a college fund that my grandparents set up for me with around $20,000 in it. I spent it mostly on a car or to pay off credit cards when I overspent. It dwindled over time. I still have some of it in an investment account though. I had a scholarship in undergrad that covered books, and used a combo of tuition assistance through the national guard and my GI bill benefit to cover both my bachelors and Master's degree.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
Money was openly discussed, partially because it was pretty tight when I was little. My dad was a cop and my mom is a medical technician and they were both early shift workers. They would pick up extra shifts when we needed to make ends meet. The core lesson was to not spend what you don't have — my family has a very conservative view on debt which I have carried into adulthood. My grandfather also liked to educate my brother and I on finances by encouraging us to think about retirement early on in our lives, and to understand the value of investing and money growing over time. My brother is the better saver out of us, but after a few overspending situations when I was young I figured it out. I would say I'm the least fiscally conservative of my family. I pay for nice vacations and was willing to use my savings on a renovation — my brother thinks I am insane for it but it is within my means.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was selling wild game summer sausage and hot sauce to tourists in a VERY niche retail store. I got that job the week I turned 16 and had transportation to reliably get to and from work. I was expected to earn my own spending money and babysitting gigs weren't that lucrative. I traded up to selling rodeo tickets a few weeks later and worked in a cowboy hat shop on weekends during the school year for spending money. I have always had a job or been actively job hunting since then (I had a really miserable time finding a job after moving with my now-ex to New Mexico).

Did you worry about money growing up?
Yes, I knew we were living paycheck to paycheck a lot of the time. However, that being said, my parents actively saved for retirement and we probably could have been a bit more comfortable if they were less responsible about that. We largely ate elk instead of store bought meat — it was considerably better financially to get an elk every autumn and live off of that than try and purchase meat from the grocery store. I thought beef was a total luxury. I did dance lessons and was acutely aware that extra on-call shifts paid for it. Around the time I was going into high school, my dad became the undersheriff and my mom was promoted into management, so money became less of a worry. My friends were definitely better off than I was but it was less acute.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes. This year, I got a divorce and I let my ex-husband keep the house (which had about $200k in equity), a car, and gave up my rights to his pension and military retirement. So, I had to reevaluate my financial position (Life advice: don't roll over in the divorce process like I did, but trauma can make you do dumb things). Luckily, I had saved very well to be able to walk away and my current job was a $70k pay increase. I feel a bit behind in retirement savings but I try to keep in mind that this income level is really fresh. Before I finished grad school I was making around $32k a year and have seen my income climb quite a bit over the last seven-ish years. My financial planner has assured me I'm fine, but I really want to rebuild my savings and continue to save aggressively for retirement.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became financially responsible at 18, minus health insurance and my cell phone. I was on my parents' insurance off and on until I aged out, and they paid for my phone until I met my ex-husband and got on his phone plan. I do know that I could fall back on my parents for help if I needed to, but I never want to need to ask for that. They did inherit, what is to our family a lot of money, last year when my grandmother passed away and would be able to help me out (thanks great grandparents for saving up a small nest egg!)

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
I receive a passive $774 monthly from the VA, and as of this year get an annual check for whatever the IRS gifting limit is. This year was $38,000 — basically the only reason I was able to buy the house and finance the remodel in the same year. My grandparents sat on the money while we struggled and my parents have decided to gift it away annually so my brother and I have it while we are young(ish). I'm going to put it into the house throughout 2027, and then my financial planner is going to do whatever he does with it, and eventually my brother's kids will inherit it or I will be the 'cool gift money aunt' so they put me in one of the nice care homes.

6:30 a.m. — I slept in until 6:30 a.m., got up and then fed my dog, C. Then I made coffee and ate half a bagel with strawberry cream cheese. Carbs are a new luxury in my life, as of last May, when I moved here and stopped having to do whatever fad diet my ex-husband was insisting on. The bagels still feel like a rebellion. I don't eat much for breakfast, breakfast is also somewhat new, because intermittent fasting was part of the pre-freedom regimen. I also have a glass of water with creatine — another new thing I'm trying.

1:00 p.m. — I've been cleaning the house all morning and I'm starving, so I make a big ass Caesar salad for lunch with romaine lettuce, parm, croutons, and pine nuts with BRIANNAS dressing. I have been living through a remodel since mid-June and the kitchen is mostly done, so I'm aggressively tackling the construction dust. I'm also anxious to have the house in good condition because a man I have been talking to is driving 2.5 hours today to have a first date with me, and somehow we both think it is reasonable for that first date to be him cooking dinner with me and staying over. This is made more unhinged by the fact that I have not had a single successful first date. I started dating in January for the first time since I was 23. I'm bad at it, as are generally all men.

3:45 p.m. — Purchased two ribeye steaks from the local butcher shop for dinner tonight. The guy, we can call him H., has promised to impress me with his grilling ability. The butcher shop is super high quality and a local legend kind of place. I have run out of things to clean and am trying to be chill while I wait for H. to get into town. Also worth noting: my ex-husband, out of nowhere, shipped me a large package that arrived today containing my military dress uniform, five old stretched out ponytail holders, a chewed up pair of sneakers, travel shampoo/conditioner and travel deodorant, moisturizer, and a broken hair clip. So he seems to be doing great. I have cut off communication and this feels like a desperate play to get attention. I will not give him the satisfaction of acknowledging it. $38.67

9:00 p.m. — Dinner consists of cold ribeye and broccolini. H. made it into town a lot later than anticipated. He was halfway here when he got an alert that a wildfire had started near his house and his neighborhood was being evacuated so he turned around. They got it under control after about an hour, so this man turned back around and still ended up coming to see me. Wild. He got here around 7:30 p.m., we started making dinner after I showed him around the house and introduced him to C. Somewhere between pulling the steaks from the grill and now, things got spicy. We're enjoying cold steaks and having a good laugh about it. This continues to be the most inadvisable first date I can imagine. We watched a comedy special after dinner and then went to bed.

6:30 a.m. — Breakfast is another half bagel and cream cheese with coffee. C. has his standard dog food and blueberries. H. left early this morning to get home and get ready for the workweek. I'm existing and trying to understand what on earth I'm doing. The plan for the day is doing some laundry and my Fantasy Football league draft. I get a text from H. when he makes it home to let me know he got there safely. Not ghosting me right away is good, right?

12:30 p.m. — I'm suddenly starving and DoorDash a chile relleno burrito, chips and guac, and "Mexican fries" from a local taco shop. I love this burrito. I have never tried the fries but they're really good. I don't eat very many of them, or really any of the chips and guacamole, because the burrito is enormous. Why I decided to get anything with it no longer makes sense to me. I'm currently couch rotting and waiting for the Fantasy draft to start. I end up taking a nap to make up for staying up late last night with H. I also end up autodrafting versus actively participating in the league draft. This is a good choice since I don't actually follow football. $25.75

6:30 p.m. — Dinner is leftover chips and guacamole, with the addition of salsa. Benefit of living alone: no one can judge your eating habits. Freedom has its perks. After couch rotting all afternoon and eating like garbage, I head up to bed early and read until I fall asleep. I'm currently shamelessly vacillating between fantasy smut and traditional romance. Tomorrow I'm back to work so an early bedtime and a restful day are hopefully setting me up for success. I get a goodnight text from H., so that makes me smile. It freaks me out that I like him and that this weekend went reasonably well.

5:40 a.m. — I wake up without snoozing my alarm, feed C., make coffee and eat the traditional half bagel. (I'm wild, I know.) There's a good morning text from H. while I'm eating breakfast. I take mornings really slow — I like to listen to the NYT's The Headlines, sit on the couch, work on a crossword and spelling bee, read email, and generally relax until about 7 a.m. It's my morning dilly-dally routine and it gives me joy. At 7 a.m., I start to get ready for work and it's back to reality.

12:00 p.m. — We have a new physician starting today and I happen to not have a meeting over the lunch hour, so I join him and the manager of the clinic for the new employee lunch. They have my favorite soup in the cafeteria today, chicken tortilla soup, so of course I get that. My assistant puts it on my Outlook calendar when it is 'Tortilla Soup Day'. It kills me. She is for sure one of my favorite humans. Lunch is good, small talk is successful, and I spend a little time after in my office before the afternoon meeting marathon. $4.69

2:30 p.m. — I did a very bad job of planning my grocery pick-up last Friday and decide that instead of suffering for the week I will place another order, this time for delivery. I also give in to some cravings with this purchase. I get hot honey, chicken sausages, half a loaf of sourdough, hamburger buns, green onions, heirloom tomato, sliced cheese, cauliflower, a steak, ground beef, cilantro, jalapeños, Gatorade zero powder (I'm addicted to lemon lime Gatorade zero), Beecher's cheddar, water crackers, and some fancy jam. $118.75

6:00 p.m. — Dinner is also meal prep this evening. I sear some chicken thighs, add a ton of zucchini and yellow squash to the pan, along with dry riesling and some chicken stock, and let it simmer. I add cherry tomatoes and orzotto once the chicken is breaking down and pull the chicken apart, so it is more bite sized. I finish by adding ricotta and crushed red pepper. It's frigging delicious. I made the recipe up so who knows if I can ever successfully repeat it. I eat and spoon the leftovers into Tupperware servings for lunches. I love to cook and I hate following a recipe. It has been such a luxury to be able to be fully creative in the kitchen again. Also: exactly why the kitchen remodel was worth it. I opted for an induction range and reaaaalllyy love it.

7:40 p.m. — I'm still figuring out how to live in my new kitchen, and decide I need something to organize the spatulas etc in the drawer by the oven. I hop on Amazon and find an OXO organizer and add it to my cart. I also add another bag of multi-colored letter beads to fuel my current Taylor Swift friendship bracelet therapy. I make them for the songs that stick out to me for any given mood and usually wear a few every day. I pick them to go with my mood or how I want the day to go. It is a whole thing and I'm not ashamed. I also toss in better belly rawhides and check out. C. really likes them and we go through them frequently. I watch an episode of The Gilded Age with a glass of wine and head to bed. I get a goodnight text from H. before I fall asleep. $24.25

5:40 a.m. — As usual, I'm up at 5:40 a.m., feed C., make coffee, and eat half a bagel. No good morning text from H. today. I cave and text him good morning at 6:21 a.m. and get an immediate reply. I'm overthinking it. Luckily, I have an insane meeting schedule today and won't be able to dwell on it. First meeting starts at 7 a.m., so the dilly dally is cut short this morning. I have essentially back-to-back meetings until 5 p.m. so the dread is real.

11:00 a.m. — I have a 15-minute gap between meetings to handle being a biological being. I scramble to the bathroom, toss my lunch in the microwave, take up temporary residence in the affectionately dubbed 'squatters office' (there is a tiny office in the executive suite directly adjacent to the toilet with the expected acoustics) and try and clear my email before the next meeting while eating my lunch (the prepped chicken pasta) and yapping with L., the executive team's Administrative Assistant. I'm currently reeling from the last meeting where it was announced that we need to submit three financial improvement tactics per department by next Friday. I did the math: 51 strategies. I text H. that we need to make a plan to see each other, so I have something to look forward to and he responds quickly to see what is going on and we text but don't make an actual plan. After responding to a few emails, I head to the boardroom to talk about marketing campaigns. The glamour.

6:45 p.m. — I'm home, makeup off, in my comfies, and C. has been fed. I'm very mentally wiped out from the day, and listening to an audiobook while I cook. Dinner was supposed to be frittata as per the plan, but I currently can't use my oven (the vent fan is insanely loud, so I have a technician coming on Thursday to look at it). I make a veggie scramble instead. I used to essentially never eat eggs unless they were in frittata form, but I have evolved into someone who can eat them relatively reliably over the last year. H. has continued reliable communication, yay! I received an email from my ex-husband confirming that I received the package he sent... cry for attention again. It had tracking, bro, you know I got it. I call my mom and debrief about the package and email.

8:00 p.m. — I'm still hungry so I have a little bowl of skinny popcorn in bed and yet again, hop on Amazon. The first Huskers game of the season is Thursday and I have decided this means I can buy a Huskers shirt. I find a cute cropped option and add it to the cart. I also get a coffee grinder and an oil splatter guard for cooking. I accidentally bought whole bean coffee in my pick-up order, and I was annoyed by a lot of oil splatter recently, so maybe I can also justify these purchases. I have been dwelling on my marriage this evening. My ex-husband succeeded in disturbing my peace. I'm frustrated because I want to focus on what may or may not be happening with H. and not dwell on the regret of what I let myself live through. I eventually fall asleep and actually have good dreams. $75.64

5:40 a.m. — Up at 5:40 a.m, feed C., make coffee, eat half a bagel. Dilly dally. It's another relatively packed day. H. texts me to tell me to have a better day than yesterday which is sweet. We have the annual board retreat today and I have them touring one of my clinics that's in the end stages of a remodel. I'm showing off a new mobile clinic we purchased this year which should be operational by mid September! I get a call from the property manager, R., alerting me to an issue with the mobile clinic. Apparently his boss, J., decided to get involved this morning and change the plan for how I wanted the mobile clinic displayed. I head in to the office for my first meeting.

10:00 a.m. — I have a gap between meetings and head down to see the mobile clinic. I'm immediately not happy. It is not hooked up to the truck, not level, blocking a fire hydrant, and the stairs are set up in possibly the worst way to access the clinic. I call R., who doesn't answer, and then J. J. tells me the set up is fine. I disagree. After a pissing match, R. comes to help me redo the set up. I had to force J's hand and he is not happy. I don't care. I celebrate the victory with an iced coffee and head to my next meeting. $4.00

11:30 — I don't have a gap to eat in private so I heat up my lunch (the pasta/chicken sitch), snag some red pepper and eat in a meeting. I hate doing that, but I'm already in a mood thanks to J., and we don't need to add an element of hangry, too. The meeting is good — easy ask. I get a text from my boss thanking me for fixing the mobile clinic situation before the board saw it. I feel vindicated. Next, I go to a staff huddle for a team that is not happy with a process change I'm making. I try to get in front of people if they are unhappy with me or a change, so they can get their feelings out to my face and we can talk about it. Not sure this is the best change management technique, but I don't want to be the coward who hides in my office when I'm unpopular. It goes relatively well, their perspectives are valid, and it's good to hear them out before we implement the change.

6:00 p.m. — I'm home. I survived an end-of-day-energy-suck-of-a-meeting with one of the more aggressive physicians. It was a wild ride. My boss and I are still texting about it. What a day. I'm making pasta again — tonight is orecchiette with Italian chicken sausage, zucchini, spinach, and cherry tomatoes. It turns out great. H. texts me to see how my day went by asking "did you kick some ass today", and I can honestly reply in the affirmative. We catch up a bit via text. My friend K. calls and we gossip about my former workplace. I seem to pick up a work bestie every time I move to a new job. She's the best. She helped me make the decision to leave my marriage. She is probably the only person I was fully honest with about what was happening while I was still in the relationship. After the gossip session, I clean up from dinner and try to decide on something to watch.

7:30 — I haven't succeeded in selecting anything to watch. I'm now listening to an audiobook and having a snack of cheese and triscuits with a glass of wine. I text H. around 8 p.m. to see if he wants to talk on the phone to no response. I have a small spiral about it before I shake it off. I have a very helpful mantra when I spiral, thanks to K.: I'm not special and it's not about me. In essence, I'm not the star of anyone else's movie and people's actions are about them, not me. It was very freeing to realize that people really aren't thinking about me. That dumb thing I said in a meeting? They already forgot. H. will be H., if he wants to try he will. Lights out by 8:45 p.m.

5:40 a.m. — Up at the usual time, feed C., make coffee, eat half a bagel with cream cheese. Dilly dally. I was able to condense all of my meetings into the morning today, and will have to come back and work from home this afternoon. I need to be here for having the range serviced. Not sad about it. Knowing I have a short day, I wear a really cute but really uncomfortable dress and heels. I wouldn't want to wear this outfit if I had to suffer through a whole day, but I can put fashion first for five hours. H. texted first thing this morning apologizing for missing the text about a call and explaining he has his phone on Do Not Disturb after 8 p.m, was engrossed in a project etc., and I feel happy that he cared to explain.

12:00 — I'm home from the office now and heating up lunch — the same meal prepped chicken pasta. It's really good, so it isn't miserable having it on repeat. I'm glad to be home and can focus on developing the 51 strategies. The bright side: I can make a spreadsheet. That is the only upside I can think of so far. As I am working on it, I get another email adding reviewing the travel budgets for every department by the same deadline. F**k. H. texts to ask about my day. He is having a good one, so that's great. My day improves when the range is fixed and I get an email from a clinician I interviewed and offered a job to saying that he is accepting the offer! Yay! Recruiting is going well.

5:30 p.m. — I'm making a chicken sausage and veggie hash for dinner. Potatoes, bell peppers, onions, zucchini, and yellow squash with a spicy green chile chicken sausage. I really like spicy foods — I have a whole collection of hot sauce at home and in the office. I have my laptop in the kitchen to have Hulu on as the Huskers game is on ESPN. It turns out I do not have the ESPN add-on or the live ESPN add-on, so I spend the $14.65 to upgrade so I can watch the game. I finish making dinner and eat while the game kicks off. It ends up being a good one — competitive — and the Huskers clinch the win. Great way to start the season! H is sending me videos of the tinkering projects he's working on. He's very mechanically inclined and I've discovered is always working on some side project. I find this cute. I'm up later than normal to finish watching the game and can't fall asleep right away after it, so I know I will be tired tomorrow, but tomorrow is Friday so I will survive. $14.65

6:45 a.m. — Up way later than normal, feed C., make coffee, go to eat an entire bagel but half has mold, so I make the questionable choice to eat the half with no visible mold. Text H. good morning. I realize everything today has a remote option minus a lunch. I'm taking a team that is getting hit by layoffs to lunch today to thank them for their work. I'm worried about it, it seems like it could be bad/flippant in the scheme of the layoffs and surrounding drama. I text H. about it and he shares my sentiment. I text my assistant that I'm planning to be remote today and happily work from my bed throughout the morning, keeping my camera off.

1:45 p.m. — The lunch ended up being relatively great. The team is really funny and has made peace with the situation. The conversation is excellent and we ended up at the restaurant for an hour and 45 minutes before we wrapped up. I took a group photo of everyone. That moment felt really sad. They get their severance next week, and then hopefully I will see them around town. I get in my car, happy the lunch went well but sad about the layoffs. $142.00 (Expensed so not included)

2:00 p.m. — After lunch I go to the grocery store to complete the weekly grocery pick up. I coupon and meal plan around the deals. This week I bought more than normal to take advantage of some really good coupon offers — so I'm now really well supplied with toilet paper and Cottonelle wipes. I also bought a decent amount of wine to stock the "wine cellar" (creepy basement closet with a vent fan). Groceries are a steak, chicken sausage, zucchini, yellow squash, lettuce, cheese, two bags of birdseed, coffee, peaches, lemons, limes, ice-cream sandwiches, tomatoes, spinach, broth, onions, and the aforementioned wine. I saved $108.21 by shopping sales and couponing. This is an all-time high for me. I'm jazzed and no one else in the world will ever care about it. I head home, put away the groceries and sit back down at the laptop to wrap up work. $193.67

3:45 p.m. — My friend L. invites me to grab a beer to wrap up the week. She is solo this weekend as her husband is going hunting. We meet at a tap house and each grab a beer. I get a rye porter that has a low ABV. A dark beer with a low ABV will always get me. We nurse our beers for about two hours while we talk about work, trees, the remodel I'm doing, and the one she is planning on. It's nice to have someone to just yammer with. A guy from work stops by our table and says hello and we make polite small talk. L. asks if I have had any decent dates lately and I tell her about H. I text him a 'cheers' photo. We wrap up around 5:45 p.m. and I head home to feed C. and make dinner. $7.43

6:30 p.m. — It's Friday so I let myself have a glass of wine while I make dinner. I am having pasta, again. I need to use the last of the Italian chicken sausage. It's similar to the pasta I made earlier in the week, but I add ricotta at the end so it is super creamy. H. is texting me photos of getting ready to go camping on the coast with his daughter. I didn't realize he had her this weekend, and it is WAY too early to ask about the custody arrangement. He is a super doting dad, which I think is a good sign he is a decent human. After dinner I put on The Materialists and head to bed before it's finished, I'm so tired. I hear the ring of a goodnight text from H. while I am drifting off. Decent week.

I impulse bought from Amazon a little more than I would've liked to. I really don't like to support Amazon, but it's so convenient. I've been trying to be budget conscious with the remodel, and actually think I did okay — minus the DoorDash order. I realized I'm not very exciting, at least not in my current phase of life. It was fun to write and reflect on how I'm spending. Hopefully, in the future there are a few more "fun" purchases.