How To Deal When You're Horny At Work

Photographed by Andrew Ingalls.
You're sitting at your desk, working like usual, when you start fantasizing about hands roaming your body, drifting down your thighs, gripping your neck, and pulling your hair. You don't know where the images came from, but here you are, suddenly very horny but still at work. So what do you do now?
"You're not going to find an answer in your HR handbook. There's no section that says 'What to do in the case of illness, pregnancy, and horniness,'" says sexologist Megan Stubbs, Ed.D.
Some people might think the answer is simple: Just head to the bathroom and take care of yourself. Then, you can go back to work totally satisfied. But, Dr. Stubbs isn't thrilled with the thought of masturbating at work.
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"Honestly, I think it's a little creepy if you're in the bathroom and you're masturbating like some kind of stealthy, silent masturbator," Dr. Stubbs says. Imagine sitting inside the bathroom, trying to get yourself off, while someone is pooping in the stall next to you. Not only is it rude to keep people waiting, the scene isn't exactly conducive to sexy fantasies. So unless you're a high-powered executive who has their own private bathroom in the office, masturbating at work isn't a great idea.
That doesn't mean you just have to wish for your sexual arousal to go away, though. Dr. Stubbs suggests turning that energy into something productive. Not necessarily productive for work, but definitely for having great sex once you leave the office. "Send a hot sext to your partner and be like 'Oh my gosh, I had this boring meeting but I was so turned on. Just thinking about you made the time fly by,'" she says. That way, being aroused at work might become a blessing rather than a burden. Sure, it sucks to be turned on when you can't do anything about it, but building suspense can make having sex even more exciting when you get home.
And you can build suspense even if you don't have a partner to sext, Dr. Stubbs says. Instead of spending 10 minutes in the bathroom trying to get yourself off, spend five minutes reading a sexy article or erotica or buying a sex toy (that you'll use in the privacy of your home, of course). Just like you'd use sexting in anticipation of partnered sex, you can use erotica or some sexy Googling to make yourself excited for being able to masturbate when you're alone. "Just don't Google on your work phone or computer," Dr. Stubbs says. You don't want anyone at work to know what you've been searching.
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