Ask Nonna: How Do I Find Real Love & Get Over Ghosts?

Everyone knows an Italian grandmother will keep your plate full — but she can also be trusted for some much-needed wisdom. That’s why we've asked Italy’s renowned pasta queen and Airbnb Experiences host, Nonna Nerina, her advice on everything from holiday hosting to ghosting to all the ways you’re ruining your pasta. Buona lettura!
Dear Nonna,
Dating in 2019 is wild. I’m looking for a long-term, committed relationship, but in the past couple years, I’ve mostly just had false starts. I’m starting to think I’m looking in the wrong places or maybe for the wrong person altogether. For instance, several times I’ve had the experience of going on a couple great dates with someone and then…nothing. Ghosted. How should I handle it when someone I go out with doesn’t follow up for another date? What should I be avoiding so I no longer find myself chasing the wrong person? And as far as true love, how will I know when I’ve found it?
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Love,
A Haunted Romantic
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Cara mia,
You can’t see me shaking my head, but I assure you I am. No. No. No. If someone doesn’t follow up for a second or third date, don’t waste your time! Love needs passion, especially at the beginning of a relationship. If someone doesn't call you back, they are not the right one! And even though what you seek is a true romantic connection, don’t force it either. Allow a connection to happen naturally, and if your heart's not in it, refrain from any future advances. (Always be polite, of course.)
As for finding true love, this matters above all: Look for a person with a good heart. Try to observe their behavior with their own relatives, as it can be a reflection of how they treat others. Look for someone sincere and respectful. Just as you would seek these characteristics in a friend, this is my advice for love, as well.
I hope you do find everything you desire, Amore. And when you do — and all the ghosts have vanished — remember that love changes and will take different shapes throughout the years. I can tell you from experience, being married for a lifetime is not easy. Sometimes things won’t go smoothly. Always try to defuse the small fights that are bound to occur. And at the end of the day, never ever fall asleep without solving the problem first. Don’t let the night pass without grabbing each other’s hand. Above all, love and respect each other fully. 
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Con amore,
Nonna Nerina
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As told to Gina Marinelli.
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