At some point after a breakup, someone is going to ask you, "So, what have you been up to lately?" The truth might be that you've been swiping your pain away on dating apps and trying to forget your ex ever existed. That's totally fine at first, but eventually you should probably do something.
In the Netflix show Master of None, newly single Dev goes on a sojourn to Italy to learn how to make pasta, which is one of his passions. His feelings for his ex might not have totally dissolved just by going on the trip, and at one point, he caves and starts texting her. But overall, the trip looks like a deliciously fun way to cope with a breakup. And experts say these kinds of distractions can be a good thing.
"It's healthy that we all crumble after a breakup, but you have to have resilience," says Lena Aburdene Derhally, MS, LPC, a licensed psychotherapist. After you've taken the proper wallowing time, it's a good idea to get yourself back in the real world. Having hobbies sort of forces you to do that, she says. Some people say that distracting yourself from emotional grief can be unhealthy. But Derhally says that as long as you spend a little time processing your emotions, it's okay. "It helps to have grounding things for yourself when you're going through a breakup," she says. "Making time for yourself on a regular basis always puts you in a good headspace."
So, if you're taking the proper steps to take care of your mental health, but you're not sure what to do with your newfound freedom, here are some ideas.