8 Things You Need To Know This AM — Sep 17 2015

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A 14-year-old Muslim arrested for bringing a clock to school has been invited to the White House. Turns out, the only threat he posed was to the kid who thought he'd win the science fair with a baking soda volcano.

Texas freshman and robotics enthusiast Ahmed Mohamed was handcuffed, brought to juvenile detention, and suspended for three days after school officials determined his extracurricular electronics project, a handmade digital clock, resembled a “hoax bomb.” Engineers, celebrities, and politicians are now rallying around the young inventor, who was released without being charged. The President himself invited Ahmed to bring the clock to the White House, tweeting, “We should inspire more kids like you to like science. It’s what makes America great” (USA Today)
Jeb Bush’s patriotic video celebrating America’s greatness is filled with stock footage of England and Asia. Poor guy's having a rough couple of months.

Jeb Bush’s super PAC Right to Rise loves and believes in America, like, so much. So much, in fact, that they filled their new video dedicated to this blessed land’s future with stock footage from the U.K. and Southeast Asia. The campaign ad, named “Bright,” positions Bush as the shining, hopeful antidote to Donald Trump’s toxicity, all while clips of construction workers scaling scaffolding in Asia and the day waking over a British field roll. (Politico)
Conflict erupted on the closed Hungary-Serbia border as riot police fend off refugees with teargas and water cannons. Hungary’s aggressive stand against the influx of migrants attempting to enter the E.U. has intensified with police unleashing water cannons and teargas on the masses of asylum-seekers stranded at the closed Hungary-Serbia border. Serbia has launched a protest in response to Hungary’s fearsome new immigration laws, which included installing a razor-wire fence at a key border route. (The Guardian)
The League star Steve Rannazzisi admits to lying about his 9/11 escape; apparently some people would do anything to get in a Buffalo Wild Wings commercial. After 10 years of recounting his miraculous escape from the World Trade Center’s 54th floor on 9/11, comic Steve Rannazzisi revealed that the story was fake. Presented with inconsistencies by the New York Times, the actor, known for his role on The League and a Buffalo Wild Wings ad dedicated to cheese curds, retracted his tale and apologized. Rannazzisi was actually working in a midtown building during the attacks, not the south tower, as previously alleged. (Chicago Tribune)
Tom Brady just weighed in on the 2016 race for the White House. And it's Trump. Of course he's endorsing Trump. The Patriots QB and guy who is not getting suspended for four games for cheating in last year's championships came out swinging for the Donald on Wednesday. At a press conference before the second GOP debate, Tom Brady said he thought Trump would make a "great" president. (New York Post)
A Catholic hospital is denying a woman a potentially life-saving tubal ligation. Jessica Mann, 33, is currently pregnant with her third child and suffering from pilocytic astrocytoma brain tumors. Despite being informed by her doctor that any further pregnancies could jeopardize her life, Mann has been denied a sterilization procedure due to her hospital’s religious affiliation. Mann plans to build a legal case with help from the ACLU. (Refinery29)
Feminist icon Helen Mirren wants men to stop wrapping their arms around their girlfriends’ shoulders. She says it shows "ownership." Dame Helen Mirren takes issue with the way your bae demonstrates affection: “When I see girls being leaned on, I want to say, 'Tell him to get his damned arm off your shoulder,’” the 70-year-old fount of wisdom told the Daily Mail’s You Magazine. Why is the Dame so perturbed by a mere arm on the shoulder? Well, she sees it as a unconscious sign of “ownership.” Considering this is a woman who was knighted by the Queen for being so fierce, smart, and fabulous, we’re just going to go ahead and side with Dame Helen on this one. (The Daily Mail)
A bear cub broke into a Colorado pizza place in order to eat all the icing and take a nap...Is it possible for a human to be related to a bear cub? Asking for a friend. Employees of Louie’s Pizza in Colorado Springs were shocked when they discovered a lone baby bear snacking on their supplies in the prep room. Noticeably malnourished, the cub helped himself to the shop’s reserves of icing and olive oil before falling asleep on a shelf. (Never have we identified so strongly with the movie Brother Bear.) Colorado Parks and Wildlife officers brought the bear to a rehabilitation facility where it will receive treatment before it’s returned to the wild. (Huffington Post)

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