Contestants On The Bachelorette That Make Me Think Clare Would Be Better Off Using Tinder

Photo: Courtesy of ABC.
Leading up to this tumultuous season of The Bachelorette, we’ve already heard a lot about what’s allegedly in store. The contestants will be in quarantine, Clare Crawley will give up her role as bachelorette mid-season to run off with ex-football player Dale Moss and be replaced by Tayshia Adams — it’s a whole Thing. But while all this rumored chaos has been going on, we still haven’t heard much about the guys who are going to be caught in the middle: until now.
The Bachelorette has finally released the cast bios of the 31 guys who will be competing for Crawley’s/Adams’ heart, and it turns out that just because you’re older doesn’t mean you’re necessarily any less wild. In fact, this crop of new hopefuls — from “Italian stallion” to “recovered Croc enthusiast” — have gotten into some choice hobbies during quarantine that will make your rabid sourdough-making obsession look pretty standard. 
While some of the contestants were part of the original lineup before the show paused filming in March, there are some others here whom we’re meeting for the first time.
There's AJ, who must be as bored as I am because he learned how to make candles during quarantine and is "double-dutch master on the jump rope." Ben, a real life man who actually calls ice baths his "favorite indulgence." Thirty-six-year-old Bennett, however, indulges in "face masks" and "walking the High Line in his favorite Belgian loafers." He also adds in his bio that "his high school girlfriend is the only girl he's ever had to work for" and "it's always been women pursuing him." Classy.
We're just getting started. Blake Moynes (there are in fact two Blake Ms) is a 29-year-old grown man with a self-described "potty mouth" who loves the Ninja Turtles. Dear, dear, Chris describes himself as a lover who "likes to think [he's] good at what [he does]," a sentiment that leads me to believe the exact opposite. Eazy either has taste or really wants ABC producers to like him because he's said he has seen every episode of Grey's Anatomy. Ivan is a "recovered Croc enthusiast," which is something I'd really like to help him unpack. Jordan M., whose "favorite Sunday activity is cleaning," sounds like a lot of fun. Tyler S. is a boyband manager.
All this to say, you might want to update your Bachelorette winner brackets.

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