Celebrities who keep their love life private only end up making people more curious, but for Macaulay Culkin, there's no big secret. He's been dating actress Brenda Song since around 2017, and finally revealed to Esquire the salacious details of what goes down behind the scenes of their relationship: laying in bed, baking bread, and petting their animals. Are you reading this, tabloids?
Culkin made a concerted effort to step back from the spotlight as a whole after his child stardom in the '90s. For the past decade, he's appeared only in video shorts, a few movies, and a handful of stints on TV (including one in Song's recent Hulu series, Dollface). The headlines about his appearance and rumored drug use have calmed down. Now, he's almost 40, his back hurts, and he wants to start a family with Song.
"We practice a lot,” Culkin jokes. "We’re figuring it out, making the timing work. Because nothing turns you on more than when your lady comes into the room and says, ‘Honey, I’m ovulating.’"
They're already basically settled down, he explains. They live in a house with a whole host of pets: cats Apples and Dude, Cinnamon the fish, a Shiba Inu named Panda, and a hand-me-down Parrot from Andy Richter named Macho (née Nacho). And despite Esquire being his first big photoshoot in 15 years, hanging with his makeshift four-legged family sounds a lot better than doing an interview.
“Yeah, this is waaayy better than being home wearing my pajamas,” he tells the magazine. "Oh, yeah. Why would I want to be home in my bed right now? With my cats? And my lady? That would be terrrrible."
He and Song met filming Seth Green's Changeland and he refers to her exclusively as "my lady" in the interview. He even orders pancakes for her to wake up to after the late shoot. Song returns the favor with a loaf of homemade bread, and apparently has a notebook where she records all the funny things Culkin says.
“People don’t realize how incredibly kind and loyal and sweet and smart he is,” Song explains in the profile. “Truly what makes Mack so special is that he is so unapologetically Mack. He knows who he is, and he’s 100 percent okay with that. And that to me is an incredibly sexy quality. He’s worked really hard to be the person he is.”
While Song would like Culkin to get back into acting, this interview isn't to promote anything. He basically just poked his head out to give us an update, and now is retreating back into his quiet life with Song.
“I’m gonna stretch my back out, kiss my animals, and go to sleep with my lady," he says. "I’m a man of really simple pleasures."