Questions The Internet (& I) Have About The Cats Trailer

Photo: Courtesy of Universal Pictures.
A film starring Jennifer Hudson, Idris Elba, Judi Dench and Ian McKellen should be catnip for movie lovers. In this case, however, that movie is the film adaptation of Broadway musical Cats, and the biggest emotion fans feel is...unsettled? Mostly, though, everyone just has a lot of questions.
On Thursday, the official trailer for Cats dropped. It should surprise no one that the internet had many thoughts, given how vocal they were over the behind-the-scenes look that Cats dropped earlier this week. The strong reaction compelled star McKellen to encourage fans to wait for the trailer, which dropped one day earlier than expected.
"From comments on the Behind the Scenes of @catsmovie I posted this morning, most of you are looking forward to it, many are curious, and others have their doubts. Come back Friday to watch the trailer for an even better idea of what you have to look forward to in Dec."
Okay, McKellen: The world has watched, and now, it's ready for some answers. While we don't exactly have those, here is what fans are scratching their heads about over the potentially terrifying, definitely surreal trailer for Cats.
Are the cats too small?
The cats are supposed to be the size of actual house cats but...are we sure the dimensions are accurate here? Or is the fact that these cats are far too humanlike just messing with our brains?
Speaking of...
Why do the cats have human hands?
In case you missed it, Taylor Swift pours catnip onto a crowd of kitties with her hand, which has normal human fingers attached. Where are the paws?!? And if cats have opposable thumbs, do they also have too much power?!?
What do the humans look like?
This is, obviously, how things are done in the stage musical, but the movie opens up a whole new can of cat food. In the film universe, we've established that the cats in Cats also have human faces (part of what makes their visage so disturbing) but if that's the the humans in this universe own pets that look just like them? Think about it. Think about the implications.
Why aren't they all wearing clothes, when some of them are wearing clothes?
Also, why are they all wearing shoes? Why do cats need shoes?
Is this in the same universe as The Cat In the Hat?
I mean, how else do you explain the human faces other than mass genetic mutations after a nuclear apocalypse? It simply has to be a Seuss thing.
...Or maybe it exists in the same universe as this episode of Goosebumps?
AVERT YOUR EYES. (Or watch the episode here.)
What's more or less scary: these Cats cats, or Cat Hermione?
I just feel like the filmmakers could have gone this route and we would have been happier, you know?
When are tickets available?
You can't keep me away from this horror show. Meow.

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