UPDATE: This story was originally published on July 8, 2019.
During the promo for last week's Bachelorette, viewers got a fun surprise, to put it lightly, when Hannah revealed she had sex in a windmill — twice! Obviously, fans want to know who she had sex with. And where. And when. And how. I mean, how do you have sex in a windmill? Just logistically, we need to know what's going on here.
Well, we already knew the windmill hookup wasn't with Luke P, because he's the one who gets upset with her for having sex with someone else when she's his wife. (I mean, she's definitely not his wife, but that's basically what he has thought the entire season.) That leaves Peter, Jed, and Tyler, because Hannah (somewhat infuriatingly) didn't kick off anyone after hometown dates. Unfortunately, the trailer for next week's Fantasy Suites episode doesn't mention the windmill at all, which is honestly just rude. Hannah talking about "fucking" (her word!) in a windmill was one of her best moments. That said, we do know from the promo that everyone will be traveling to Crete, Greece — a land that is ripe with windmill hotels!
Yep, that's right. As pointed out by Rodger Sherman in the recap of last week's episode for The Ringer, there are windmill hotel rooms you can rent in Mykonos, Greece that look like the sort of place where a Bachelorette fantasy suite date would be held. There are also Windmill Villas in Santorini and a windmill that was converted into a boutique hotel on the Greek island of Kimolos. So, yeah, windmills in which one can have sex are very much a thing in Greece.
On the Bachelor Party podcast last week, host Juliet Litman noted that in the promo that aired after the last episode, Jed was shown in a room with Hannah that didn't look like the windmill hotel in Mykonos. It also just doesn't look like a windmill hotel, period. It looks like a generic hotel room. This seems to rule Jed out, which means the windmill encounter was likely with Peter or Tyler.
Adding to the Tyler case (or potentially just a giant red herring thrown into the mix, because why not?) is Nick Viall's latest Instagram post about meeting up with Tyler. The caption? "Just had lunch in a windmill." It's probably just a play on the fandom's current windmill obsession, but that's not going to stop us from telling you that Tyler also regrammed the pic on his Insta-stories with a similar windmill quip (that evidence has sadly disappeared due to the 24 hour window).
Now, there is a possibility that the windmill happening occurred before Greece, but that seems less likely. The Netherlands is known for having windmills and the show was based in the country last week, but a hookup there would mean that Hannah and the suitor were very sneaky and somehow managed to evade producers and cameramen without the producers and cameramen knowing they'd been evaded, because the episode didn't show or hint or whisper about anything resembling a windmill hookup. What a show, everyone. What a show.
It won't be long now until we find out for sure what happened — and hopefully get a very thorough tour of one of these luxurious windmill hotel rooms, because they look amazing and deserve some time in the spotlight, too.