Fresh off an incredible Coachella performance, Ariana Grande has revealed that all these shows haven't actually been great for her mental health. Both her Sweetener tour and Coachella setlist contain songs from Grande's most recent album, Thank U, Next, in which the singer processes not just her break up with Pete Davidson, but also the death of her ex-boyfriend Mac Miller. Singing these memories on stage every night is taking a toll, according to a handful of now-deleted tweets from Grande.
"honestly, it's been v hard. i have sm on my mind and it's so heavy and no energy to process or work thu any of it but i'm trying hard," she wrote in response to a fan asking if touring was good for her mental health. "i wish it were a year ago. i'd give anything," she added.
Grande clarified that while turning her emotions into music is healing for her, singing it on stage is "like reliving it all over again and it is hell."
She also has been taking a step back from social media, specifically Twitter, saying that she feels "empty" and wants to "have more to say/better energy to give to u and rn I don't have anything. love u."
Last week, she shared a scan of her brain on her Instagram Story that showed the devastating PTSD she's been suffering from, but also clarified on Twitter that she's been finding ways to cope with it.
"having a routine is good for ptsd. been readin bout it i would be sad without the shows too," she said in response to suggestions that she step away from touring. "imma be ok. might change the set list a lil."
Notably, songs like "Goodnight N Go," "Needy," and the line about Mac Miller in "Thank U, Next" have been making Grande choke up during concerts.
This weekend, the singer returns to the Coachella stage to headline once more, before diving back into the Sweetener tour on April 25 — hopefully with a few necessary changes.