So, Rufus Humphrey From Gossip Girl Is My Dream TV Boyfriend Now

Photo: Cw Network/Kobal/REX/Shutterstock.
I think I'm getting old. Actually, I know I'm getting old. How do I know? Because while re-watching Gossip Girl in anticipation of the show's 10th anniversary this week, my attention was immediately drawn not to Dan (Penn Badgley), Nate (Chace Crawford), or even Chuck (Ed Westwick), but to the aging 90s rockstar and resident Brooklyn hot dad known as Rufus Humphrey (Matthew Settle).
I mean, can you blame me? Let's just talk this through. On the one hand, you have Nate, who yes, is pretty, but oh so juvenile; moving along to Dan, who you'd think as a younger Rufus might make the cut, but ends up with the emotional intelligence of a plastic teaspoon; and then, there's Chuck, ruled out of this exercise by the fact that he tried to sexually assault both Serena (Blake Lively) and Jenny (Taylor Momsen) in the very first episode of the show.
To be honest, I always had a soft spot for Rufus, in a 17-year-old "hm, what a nice dad" kind of way. Now that I've reached the ripe old age of 27, that man is a CATCH. I mean, come on: He was the lead singer of Lincoln Hawk, a band Rolling Stone listed as one of their Top Forgotten Bands Of The 90s; he owns a sweet DUMBO art gallery and represents his very talented artist wife (whom he eventually kind of cheats on, but nobody's perfect!); he gives wise advice to his insensitive and selfish children; he carries a forbidden torch for his first true love and former groupie; and did I mention he has an amazing loft and makes pancakes on Sundays? With whipped cream and strawberries!
Also, for an aging rockstar, Rufus is surprisingly well-adjusted. He doesn't do drugs, drinks only the occasional glass of wine, and apparently has only tame stories from his days touring with Jane's Addiction/Nine Inch Nails/ Insert Random 90s Grunge Band Here. Unlike say, Keith Richards (another aging rockstar crush of mine), you get the feeling that he's put his wild child days behind him and is ready to spend the next 20 to 30 years spontaneously buying sunflowers for the woman he loves, simultaneously serenading her and cooking Bolognese.
He is chill, he is thoughtful, he adult. Oh, and he's smokin' hot. You know you love me, Rufus. XOXO.
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