The Most Upsetting Quotes From Anthony Scaramucci's New Yorker Interview, Ranked

Some people ease into a new role by getting to know their colleagues and familiarizing themselves with the company break room. Others, like new White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci, arrive on their first day hellbent on alienating themselves by taking someone's parking spot and stealing every yogurt labeled "DO NOT EAT."

Scaramucci, or "the Mooch" as he sometimes refers to himself, has been in the White House for less than a week, and he's already causing chaos. The confident 53-year-old Trump loyalist (well, as recently as June 2016) kicked off his Wall Street career at Goldman Sachs where he worked for over a decade before starting his own asset management firm, SkyBridge Capital, in 2005. During his first press appearance in his new role, Scaramucci made it clear that as a businessman, he knows how to take and deal punches like the best of them.

But an article published today by Ryan Lizza at The New Yorker indicates that despite all his on-camera smooth-talking, in reality he's overly aggressive. The story, if you haven't read it, is worth consuming in full, as it details a seemingly polished man coming apart at the seams.

To quickly summarize, Lizza tweeted about a a dinner President Donald Trump was hosting at the White House alongside the First Lady with guests including Fox talking head Sean Hannity, Fox News executive Bill Shine, and Scaramucci. Apparently, that dinner was supposed to be more of an on-the-down-low event, because Mooch called Lizza that evening and proceeded to flip out, accusing White House staff members of leaking to the press.

Throughout their conversation, Scaramucci used explicit language, threatened to fire and/or kill everyone on the White House communications team, made outrageous claims about White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon and White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, and implied he had intelligence information that not even the president knew existed.

Below are 10 of the most mind-boggling quotes from that interview, ranked from least to most upsetting.

10. "The swamp will not defeat him. They're trying to resist me, but it's not going to work. I've done nothing wrong on my financial disclosures, so they're going to have to go fuck themselves."

First of all, yes, Scaramucci referred to himself in the third person. Secondly, he doesn't understand that he is the epitome of the "swamp," which Trump touted on the campaign trail as being mainstream politicians, lobbyists, and anyone he feels doesn't make government "honest." Scaramucci is Wall Street. He's also spent tens of thousands funding politicians (some who are opposed to Trump). To claim that he's a man who genuinely has the interest of the average American family at heart isn't exactly genuine.

9. "Yeah, let me go, though, because I've gotta start tweeting some shit to make this guy crazy."

Scaramucci spewed the above gem at the end of his phone call with Lizza, and "this guy" seemed to be a reference to Priebus. Following the call, Mooch tweeted out, then deleted, "In light of the leak of my financial info which is a felony, I will be contacting @FBI and the @TheJustice Dept #swamp @Reince45." He later said he only tagged Priebus because he wanted him to join his fight against leaks.

It's great to see that Melania's anti-bullying campaign is working so well.

8. "Well, he doesn't know the extent of all that, he knows about some of that, but he'll know the rest of it first thing in the morning when I see him."

This quote was in reference to information he claimed he had on leakers that the president did not yet know about. It's ridiculous to think that a White House communications director would tell a journalist about sensitive information before telling the Commander-in-Chief, but here we are.

7. "O.K., the Mooch showed up a week ago. This is going to get cleaned up very shortly, O.K.? Because I nailed these guys. I've got digital fingerprints on everything they've done through the F.B.I. and the fucking Department of Justice."

Two things here: 1. He really loves referring to himself in the third person; and, 2. We don't even know if he has his security clearance yet and he's claiming that the FBI and DOJ have given him sensitive information.

6. "You're an American citizen, this is a major catastrophe for the American country. So I'm asking you as an American patriot to give me a sense of who leaked it."

Scaramucci used the above lines to try to get Lizza to give up the source who told him about the dinner. People who respect the First Amendment and the freedom of the press don't bully journalists into giving up sources.

5. "O.K. I'm going to fire every one of them, and then you haven't protected anybody, so the entire place will be fired over the next two weeks."

Scaramucci then threatened to fire the White House communications team, and pin it on Lizza, because Lizza wouldn't give up his source.

4. "'Oh, Bill Shine is coming in. Let me leak the fucking thing and see if I can cock-block these people the way I cock-blocked Scaramucci for six months."

The above was Scaramucci imitating Priebus, who he seems to feel prevented him from getting a role in the White House sooner. Incredibly mature.

3. "Reince is a fucking paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac."

This comment was spurred by Scaramucci's belief that Priebus leaked information about the dinner because he wasn't invited. In this instance, it would appear that Mooch is the paranoid one.

2. "I'm not Steve Bannon, I'm not trying to suck my own cock. I'm not trying to build my own brand off the fucking strength of the President. I'm here to serve the country."

Um, okay? This was Scaramucci's way of trying to convince Lizza that he doesn't care about attention from the media.

1. "What I want to do is I want to fucking kill all the leakers and I want to get the President’s agenda on track so we can succeed for the American people."

Yes, Scaramucci told a reporter on the record that he wanted to "fucking kill all the leakers." As in murder. And he's communicating on behalf of the president.