As anyone who’s ever gotten a crippling UTI just from forgetting to pee immediately after sex already knows too well, the human vagina is a very sensitive place. One needs to take an abundance of caution when putting things in, near, and on it, including when it comes to bath and body products — and especially when those bath and body products contain mint.
Let the record state that mint — refreshing, energizing, tingly mint — has no business being in your vagina. One woman discovered that the hard way when she reached for the U.K.-favorite Original Source Mint & Tea Tree shower gel, which boasts of having “crammed 7,927 real mint leaves” into each bottle. If the victim’s emotionally harrowing Facebook saga recounting the scenario is anything to go by, at least 1,000 of them found their way into her vagina when she lathered up with the body wash.
In the post, she initially described her 6:45 am shower as “a positively first-class bathing experience.” But things soon went awry: “And then. AND THEN. Oh. Dear. God. MY VAGINA WAS ABLAZE.” What follows is an emotional rollercoaster, an epic that will make you laugh and then make you cry and laugh and cry and laugh and cry until everything hurts and you don’t know what’s going on anymore. “My flaps were on fucking fire,” she says, eloquently.
Most importantly, the woman has a solid recommendation for Original Source to improve their product marketing going forward. “May I suggest a rebranding of the front of your bottles of Mint and Tea Tree Shower Gel?” she begins. “Something along the lines of the following: ‘7,927 tingling leaves which will accost your genitalia until it screams for mercy.'” This noble pursuit would help to save at least 7,927 vaginas from suffering a similar fate.