• REFLECTION• There was a time in my life when I wanted to die, I did not want to live. I wanted to escape, run away, disappear - I didn't want to be me all because of my body. I hated the vessel that carried me through life so much that I no longer wanted to exist because I felt like I couldn't escape the trap I felt like I was in physically and mentally. This photo would have destroyed me if I saw it when I was that girl because nothing was ever good enough ,my only purpose in life then was to be what I thought was a better looking, skinnier version of myself because I thought that meant people would like me and I would be confident, happier and free of all my self hate and mental issues . This weekend I was confronted with some triggers to my old self and it gave me time to reflect on how far I have grown & changed & how lucky I am that I took charge and sought the help I desperately needed to turn my life around. I am so lucky to have met the man of my dreams who supported me and held my hand through the toughest times during my intense psychological therapy journey and was gifted the blessing of having a beautiful daughter who changed my world and gave me a purpose and reason to once and for all learn to love the person I am and stop focusing on my reflection. Through learning to love who I am , finding a purpose (to help and motivate others) I actually now love my body and respect it for allowing me to walk, run, birth my daughter, hold her in my arms and in fact just to live my life every day. Now that I can see there is more to life I will forever be grateful that I did not let my mental illness win because if I did there would be no Milena & a world with out her would be a world with a little less sparkle. ✨ If you are struggling on any level with self hate I want you to know there is help and there is a way out. This resonates so deeply with me. "I hope one day your human body is not a jail cell, Instead it's a sunny 2pm garden with daisies thriving because of self love." I know this is deep but it's a subject I am passionate about discussing & changing for women every where in a time we are constantly bombarded with pressure to be someone else.