We hate to be the bearers of bad news, but if you happen to be a busty lady, you are out of fashion — according to Vogue UK, at least. An article in the magazine's December issue, titled "Desperately Seeking Cleavage," determined that the fashion industry is, in fact, not seeking cleavage at all. Which might be a productive investigation if women's body parts were a fashion item, but alas, they are not. According to The Independent,* Vogue UK's consensus is that, "The cleavage — those magnificent mounds pushed together to display sexual empowerment, to seduce, to inspire lust or even just to show off — is over, or at least, taking a well-earned break." In other words, Vogue says, “the tits will not be out for the lads. Or for anyone else, for that matter." The magazine also cites actress and model Emily Ratajkowski as a cleavage-owner who has to grapple with finding ways to "approach the cleavage" while getting dressed. As you can imagine, we weren't the only ones taken aback by Vogue's assertion. The declaration that a part of someone's body is now "over" didn't go over too well on Twitter, either.
As stylist Elizabeth Saltzman confirmed to Vogue, cleavage — or at least, revealing it — is definitely over, due to a rise in creepy Instagram comments. Commenting on one busty actress, Saltzman said, "On those occasions where her cleavage is more visible, I see what happens on her Instagram feeds afterwards, and out of about 100,000 comments, 90,000 will be about her boobs. That’s not healthy, that's creepy." While that may be true, suggesting that cleavage-owners should cover up because creeps can't stop themselves from being creeps just shames women and puts the blame on them for other people's bad behavior. If a woman wants to show off her cleavage, that's her prerogative, creepy comments be damned. Plus, y'know, busty women can't help being busty, and breasts aren't an accessory that you can return to the store in an effort to stay fashionable. So, sorry, busty ladies, but it looks like Vogue officially thinks you're "out of fashion." On the bright side, at least we've still got your back (and your breasts). *Okay, it's not exactly our normal M.O. to cover a story that we haven't been able to actually read yet. But we've reached out to our pals in the U.K. and will update you when we've got a copy of the story.