Here are the facts: Ryan Lochte lied. That Rio "robbery" that turned into international breaking news was actually a product of adult men behaving carelessly.
So what do do with a 32-year-old adult man who lied to both his own mother and the police, and was caught in the crosshairs of a major kerfuffle? One that began, according to the New York Times, over a broken bathroom stall door.
Word to wise: Before you tell another untruth, Ryan Lochte, please put aside your gold medal. Take out your phone. Dial D.C.'s help hotline, a.k.a. Madam Olivia Pope. We need to get ahead of this story. Pope and Associates can help you change the narrative.
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The only people that are truly qualified to be investigating this Ryan Lochte robbery. #opa #OliviaPope pic.twitter.com/TaT43fCdH4
— mahgirB ynohtnA ekaJ (@BrighamJake) August 18, 2016
Ryan's publicist and lawyer trying to get him out of this mess #LochteGate pic.twitter.com/UHS9ObzSL7
— B. (@BrionnaR22) August 18, 2016
#RyanLochte really needs Olivia Pope right now.
— missy. (@tantalizing_tay) August 18, 2016
If anyone ever needed #OliviaPope it's @RyanLochte #LochteGate
— aaron charlow (@acharlowmedia) August 18, 2016
Other fans had different ideas for what Ryan Lochte's post-LochteGate move should be:
There's only 1 reasonable play for @RyanLochte right now: run for Florida governor. The Sunshine State needs you https://t.co/KFpaocImMH
— Marc Caputo (@MarcACaputo) August 18, 2016
Serial season 3 needs to be the Ryan Lochte robbery cc: @serial
— Danny Gold (@DGisSERIOUS) August 18, 2016
Netflix needs to make a docuseries about this Ryan Lochte story
— Kelvin Lempke (@KevinLempke) August 18, 2016