A 53-year-old Omaha man went on a shocking misogynist rant after his children dosed him with illegal drugs, reports The Omaha World-Herald. Just kidding, he ate his kids' pot brownies, rolled around on the ground, and called the family cat a “bitch.” Police officers were called to the scene around 9:45 p.m. Tuesday after the man had discovered brownies in the back of a car his adult children had borrowed. He ate four of the brownies. “Paramedics called to the scene who checked the man found his vital signs to be normal,” the World-Herald writes. “But they noted he was displaying odd behavior — crawling around on the floor, randomly using profanities and calling the family cat a ‘bitch.’” Wrong animal! Also, very offensive. The preferred nomenclature is female feline. He also reportedly told paramedics he felt like he was “trippin’.” The paramedics helped him into bed and told him that he or his wife should call 911 if the situation worsened. Wonderful, like a scene from a movie. Let's take this opportunity to revisit some of the greatest hits of people eating weed brownies and calling the cops. First, a police officer that confiscated the weed.
Then, these dudes that were on a weed smuggling trip, got too high and paranoid, and then called the cops to arrest them.
Pro Tip: Don't call the cops if you're too stoned.