7 “Crazy” Exes Spill Their Story On Reddit

Chances are, you've heard people call their exes "crazy." And if you're a woman, you've likely been called "crazy." All too often, however, the "crazy" label is used to silence women and put us into an overly emotional, unreliable box — a dynamic that can easily play out during breakups. (Some women, like Rachel Bloom — with her stereotype-dismantling, aptly tiled show, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend — are even reclaiming the phrase.) Unfortunately, there's not much that can be done to stop someone from calling you "crazy," (or "irrational" or "emotional or "unreliable"). And when it comes to breakups, it's especially hard — emotions run high, people say things they don't mean, and every little text and action is inspected under a microscope. This is why we were pleasantly surprised to discover the so-called "crazy" exes on Reddit coming forward to tell their side of the story. Many of the posters dealt with serial cheaters or gaslighting partners, two things that are enough to make someone feel "crazy." A few posters did 'fess up to some bad behavior, but with nuanced explanations that are rarely covered when a dude throws out the "crazy" label during drinks with buddies. All of these accounts, however, reveal an important point: When someone calls an ex "crazy," more often than not, he or she is leaving out a huge part of the story — rather than truly owning up to how the relationship ended. As one poster wrote, "It takes two to tango, and I haven't encountered many situations personally where the blame was truly one-sided." Read ahead for seven stories from people who were deemed "crazy" by their exes.

"I took the car."
"Yes, I took the car. It was my name on the title, after all." — SexAndCandiru

"He probably labeled me as the crazy ex who stole his cat, but I don't care."
"I kept his kitten and refused to give her back to him when he broke up with me. "She had been exclusively living in my house for close to six months because his place wasn't pet-friendly. I had been paying for all her supplies, scheduling all her vet appointments, and taking care of her every day. She had formed bonds with both my cat and dog. She was in a loving, stable environment where she would have companions when someone wasn't home. He worked 9-10 hours a day on top of classes, would've had her alone in his bedroom all day, and barely took charge of making sure she was taken care of. "When he broke up with me (made me drive 45 minutes to him to break up with me, are you serious!?), I kept her because his place wasn't pet-friendly. She had been scheduled for her spay and I went ahead and went through with it because she was a year old and still not fixed. When he didn't check on her at all despite knowing she had surgery, that's when I decided I was going to keep her. I had put too much time, energy, and love into her to just hand her off to someone who cared more about the novelty of having a pet rather than properly caring for her. We had a very heated conversation in which he threatened to call the cops for violating a verbal contract. I told him to go ahead — all the vet bills are in my name, as is the pet registration. "He probably labeled me as the crazy ex who stole his cat, but I don't care — she is in a stable environment in a home where I know she is getting the love and care she deserves. Plus, I just adore the little heathen." — CataclysmicKitten

"Pretty sure there [are] plenty of ways to spin that into 'unnecessary evil.'"
"Okay, so I may have sent his new girlfriend (the one he cheated on me [with], and left me for) some screenshots of cringe-y messages where he sent unsolicited dick pics and begged for me back. While he was dating her. "My friends verified that it was equal parts funny and justified, but pretty sure there [are] plenty of ways to spin that into 'unnecessary evil' and 'Jesus Christ woman just let it go.' He was horrible though, and so was she!" — zebra_butts

"He was texting girls he met online and telling them he loved them."
"He told all of his family and friends that I asked for a divorce because he was deploying to Afghanistan and that I was a crazy controlling bitch. The real reason we were divorcing was because he was texting girls he met online and telling them he loved them and wanted to be with them. I also found his online dating site on my laptop, and when I confronted him about it, he said his friends made the profile as a joke. The profile used the same username and password that he used for everything. The final straw was when I came home from a trip...to see my family and walked into our bedroom to find another girl's clothes. I asked whose they were and why they were there, and he said he had gone to the bar with some people from his troop, and [some girl] was too drunk and had to spend the night. He apparently slept on the couch. I asked what she left the apartment wearing, and he [said he] gave her my favorite pair of sweatpants... I never got those back either." — yesjesshero

"I warned his next girlfriend what an abusive asshole he was."
"Bet I sounded like a crazy ex when I warned his next girlfriend what an abusive asshole he was, but it sure as hell felt good when I found out she dumped him a year or so later for just that reason." — murderousbudgie

"He kept me strung along our entire 'relationship.'"
"He was a clinical narcissist. He kept me strung along our entire 'relationship.' Wouldn't call me his girlfriend, but treated me like one. I would lose my mind whenever he would talk to other girls / hang out with them, because he would say, 'You're not my girlfriend. Shut up.' This would sometimes happen right after a date. Whenever I would try and shut him out, he'd call me crying, and I really liked him, so I took him back. But it would keep happening. He'd buy me gifts, take me out multiple times a week, do all the things boyfriends/girlfriends did, but he would never acknowledge our relationship. So in turn, I got crazier and crazier, because he drove me crazy. He would talk shit about me to his friends because of how 'crazy' I was, completely disregarding the manipulative shit he was doing. I've never had anyone mess with my head so much. "Now I'm married to an amazing man who was courteous, loving, and mature from day one. Never once with this man have I ever worried about fidelity, or questioned my status with him. I was never 'crazy' with him, because he gave me no reason to be. My view of relationships was so skewed, I had no idea that I would ever be worthy of someone I have now. "Last I heard from my narcissist ex, he kept trying to call and text me, and I had been dating my boyfriend (now husband) for a year already. He told me I would have made a good girlfriend. Yeah...turns out I did make a good girlfriend, for someone who deserved it." — ampersandie

"End result: I looked like a crazy bitch who took offense at everything, and he looked like a long-suffering good guy."
"I had an emotionally abusive ex who would act perfectly sweet in front of everyone but would always say something to me privately, or even whisper to me while we were surrounded by people. It was always about how everyone else didn't like me, was disgusted by my joke, etc., or sometimes just that I looked bad in some way. It made me extremely neurotic and hypersensitive. People would say (in retrospect) perfectly friendly things to me, and I would think they were being passive-aggressive or messing with me in some way. End result: I looked like a crazy bitch who took offense at everything, and he looked like a long-suffering good guy. "Quick edit to add: This is the only time I did any crazy ex stuff to him, and of course it just reinforced our mutual friends' view of me, but I felt much better." — LionPandaTiger