Scott Disick is in a rut. He's not with Kourtney Kardashian at the moment. And he isn't really doing much other than failing at Instagram posts, and promoting the nightclub circuit. But why is he in a rut? He might have finally found the answer. In a clip from this week's episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Disick visits a psychic with Kendall Jenner. The psychic, using tarot cards, explains Disick's current life situation (which sounds bleak.) The middle card is the devil card, she says, which means that he has had a lot of life obstacles. She also tells him: "I would probably say you do have a curse." But she also offers up a solution. She says that, based on the cards, he could dispel the curse by offering up one living rooster. She tells him to set the rooster free and "it will set you free as you set him free." She also tells him he has to wear all white during the ritual.
Disick — listen up. I want to help. It can't be that hard to find a rooster near Hollywood, right? Wrong. First, I Googled "Where To Buy Roosters In Calabasas" and found over 100,000 results. Unfortunately, most were restaurants (like Red Rooster, Rooster Fish) or an art store (Blue Rooster Art) or even a tire shop (Rooster Tire and Auto.) Next, I tried "Livestock Calabasas, Rooster" which led me to a website called recycler.com. Unfortunately, no live roosters are available at the moment, but there appeared to be a plethora of chicks to choose from. Close, but no cigar. Then, I tried old faithful — Craigslist, where one can buy and sell essentially anything under the sun. I searched in "rooster" near "Los Angeles," and ding, ding, ding! Winner, winner, chicken dinner. Here are five potential roosters to ride Lord Disick of his curse. There's Rocky, who's looking for hens. A relatable situation to Disick's.
And my personal favorite — this roundhead rooster, who we'll call, Lord. He looks capable of holding the weight of the Kardashian curse with him after he's set free.