Your Complete Guide To The Beyoncé Fan Fiction You Need To Read To Believe

While we were all wondering who "Becky" was and whether Jay Z actually cheated, one Beyoncé fan, 27-year-old Eric Richardson, took matters into his own hands and wrote The Lemons. And it is a masterpiece. Like most pieces of fan fiction, it gets pretty wild. Superfans of celebrities often invent alternate universes where the writers themselves get to dictate the personal lives and interactions of their favorite stars. Some fanfic achieves fame — ahem, Fifty Shades of Grey — while some lives in obscurity on fan-driven Tumblrs — like the infamous Larry. But The Lemons ties in so many celebrity appearances and pop culture references that even though it is grossly exaggerated, it's fun to imagine versions of these scenes actually happening. In the world of Lemons, Beyonce is the HBIC, queen of her household. Celebrities praise her and grovel in her presence left and right. Leonardo DiCaprio, Kanye West, Ava Duvernay, and even a resurrected Prince make appearances. The piece is written as a dramatic play, complete with details like, "*Beyoncé photogenically rubs the bridge of her nose with her index and thumb.*" In an interview with Fusion, Richardson said that he is already up to part four, and that fans of his hilarious and mildly disturbing version of Beyoncé can expect more Lemons in the future. Richardson also said he chose to portray Bey as the "ultimate boss ass bitch." I'd say mission accomplished. Life gave him Lemonade and he gave us The Lemons. Below, the complete guide to your newest obsession.

The Cast
Beyoncé as Bey
Jay Z as Jay
Prince as Prince
Taraji P. Henson as Taraji
Solange as Solo
Ava Duvernay as Ava
Kanye West as Ye
Tyga as Tyga
Kim Kardashian as Kim
J. Cole as Cole
Tina Knowles as Mama T
Mathew Knowles as Matty
Leonardo DiCaprio as Leo
Blue Ivy as Blue
Tyler The Creator as Tyler

The Setting
The Knowles-Carter estate, which has a pool bigger than Drake's and Kanye's, as well as pony stables and a Chuck E. Cheese room for Blue Ivy. There's also a scene inside an Uber, because people in Los Angeles love Uber.

The Plot

Part 1
It starts with Beyoncé telling Jay Z that her army of fans is about to annihilate him after watching the premiere of Lemonade on HBO. He is majorly in the dog house and can do no right. Bey also has to deal her famous family, friends, and frenemies constantly stopping by and interrupting her creative process. Oh, and we learn that Prince is hiding out with her for a while cause he isn't really dead. Kanye says he wants to make a visual album on Netflix.

Part 2
Kim and Kanye show up, and Beyoncé is not pleased. She doesn't understand why all these people think they are her friends and that she would actually want to interact with them. Bey has no time for Kim, who just really wants a selfie with "Cookie from Empire." Kim also brings over a lemon pound cake.

Part 3
Beyoncé is still trying to run her empire, but her husband Jay Z is still kind of fucking everything up. She finds out that Blue Ivy is on Twitter and tells her daughter to delete her account, but she can keep Candy Crush. Tyler The Creator comes over and tells Beyoncé some good news. They found Frank Ocean — he had been kidnapped by Azealia Banks. Someone who Beyoncé has never heard of.

The Reaction
In the words of the real-life Ava Duvernay upon reading The Lemons: "Whoa."