The 10 Best Ari Gold Quotes Of All Time

Photo: Courtesy of HBO.
In case you missed it, I didn't love the Entourage movie. It was entertaining, but I just couldn't fully get on board. However, Jeremy Piven delivered a fantastic performance as Ari Gold. In fact, I would watch a spin-off film that's just about him.

So why not celebrate that performance with an ode to Mr. Gold himself? After all, he spent years delivering some of the best one-liners on television. (His art form doesn't disappoint in the cinematic adaptation, either.) Ahead, we've compiled 10 of Gold's best quotes. And by "best quotes," I of course mean the ones that are funny and signature-Ari-Gold, that don't focus on banging women and homosexuality. It wasn't easy, guys, but we did it.
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Photo: Courtesy of HBO.
“Call me Helen Keller, because I’m a fucking miracle worker!”
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Photo: Courtesy of HBO.
“My life is over!... I drove to work in an $80,000 Mercedes. I’m driving home in a prop car from The Fast and the Furious.”
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Photo: Courtesy of HBO.
"Nobody’s happy in this town except for the losers. Look at me: I’m miserable. That’s why I’m rich."
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Photo: Courtesy of HBO.
“I’ve always dreamed about ruling the world, but now that I’m getting older, I would settle for ruling Hollywood.”
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Photo: Courtesy of HBO.
“Oh, I knew about it. You think that you knew about it and I didn't know about it? You think there's anything in this fucking universe that you know about that I don't know about?”
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Photo: Courtesy of HBO.
"I don't make the rules. Not all of them, anyways."
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Photo: Courtesy of HBO.
“I’m now on Facebook because of you. I’ve got 600 friends. And John Mayer is not one of them."
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Photo: Courtesy of HBO.
"Conversations usually end after one person calls the other person a douche bag."
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Photo: Courtesy of HBO.
“I got to know what you think so I can get you to think what I think.”
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Photo: Courtesy of HBO.
“Let's hug it out, bitch."
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