Why did you break-up?
This is critical and it needs to be assessed if you have any hopes of building a solid friendship afterward. If the end of your relationship was toxic, the likelihood of forging a legitimate friendship amidst the wreckage is slim. Don’t get me wrong, the power of time and its ability to heal all wounds should never be underestimated, but ending things as friends instead of mortal enemies makes the transition a whole lot easier. We didn’t break up because of infidelity or constant arguing or the attempted murder of a pet. Our relationship ended because we stopped having sex. Though we still had mad love, we just didn’t make it anymore. After a while, the lens through which I saw her shifted: She became more like my sister than my girlfriend. And, well, that was that. It ended up working out for the best, though, because in order to remain friends after breaking up, you must...
Never, Ever Have Sex
A question I get asked all the time: “You mean you guys really don’t do it anymore?
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Okay, that’s not entirely true, but it did take us a while before we became fully comfortable discussing each other’s sex lives. That’s not because we were still in love, but because when you’re so used to having something one way, it’s tough to watch it go another. Ch-ch-ch-changes, they’re never easy. Again, time is the key ingredient. They should sell bottles of it over the counter, right next to the Advil. Still, even after five years of friendship, what we do in the bedroom with other people is not exactly a preferred topic of conversation, because, yuck, as I said earlier, she’s like my sister. But, once we became okay with the idea of seeing each other with other people, everything else fell into place. That is by far, the greatest emotional hurdle to get over. Remember...
None of this is Easy
But, boy is it worth it. If you love someone enough, just because you didn’t work out as a couple, it doesn’t mean you won’t work out as friends. It’s up to you to identify the reasons you were with this person in the first place and determine whether or not they will transition into a new phase of your relationship, one that, trust me, has the potential to be lot more fulfilling than the previous iteration. It worked for me and Kate Upton! Shoot, I probably shouldn’t have given away her identity. Oh well. She’ll forgive me, because that’s what best friends do.